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3 years...Really?
cowboys
Posted: Tuesday, April 21, 2015 4:50 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 338


Hello! I haven't been back much but I spent 4 years on these boards. My beloved father, my hero, my best friend will be gone 3yrs this Thursday and it still hurts like hell. I know Dad is better off and free from the cruelty of this disease but I am selfish and wish he were still here. I believe my grief has turned into illness as I have so many new health issues. God help us all.

I wish all of us peace.

King Boo
Posted: Sunday, April 26, 2015 8:23 AM
Joined: 1/9/2012
Posts: 3444


Hi Cowboys-
I remember you! Thanks for dropping by .....I lost my Dad just l ast month......time does fly, it seems much more recently that I was reading your posts.

Oceanbum
Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2015 8:50 AM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433


Hi cowboys! Good to "see" you!

I remember you very well. We were going thru the grief process at the same time. We lost Mom 3 years ago in June. It's so hard to believe it's been that long. There are days it seems like only yesterday. But then there are days it seems like forever since I spoke to her. I know you understand that.

We lost my Dad in December to cancer. We didn't even know he was sick. It was 11 days from diagnosis to his passing. Very sudden, very shocking & very devastating to our family. He made me the executor of his estate so I have been busying myself taking care of the house, the bills, selling the cars & the house, emptying out the contents (well, with my brothers). But 60 years of accumulation that have to be dealt with in one way or another. It's been a challenge to say the least. We are almost there, though. The house is sold (staying in the family), both of the cars as well, the house is empty, just waiting for the house to close and be transferred. Then I can write checks and it will be finished. That makes me sad. It will feel like closing the book on their lives. I know it doesn't change the fact that they were here and a HUGE part of my life. It just feels so final.

King Boo,

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent loss. I hope you are doing ok. Time does fly. That's the thing Dad kept telling me after Mom passed away. He said it was over in the blink of an eye. I think, in part, that's why we lost him so soon after Mom. He died of cancer - but also of a broken heart.

Good to see you both!! I hope you are both doing well!! May you both find peace and comfort throughout this journey. Hugs to you!!


bela
Posted: Tuesday, July 21, 2015 11:48 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4120


God help us all!!!! My thoughts are with you.
Mrs. Braxton
Posted: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 11:28 AM
Joined: 9/12/2012
Posts: 929


I am sorry that you are ill. Grieving can take a toll on us. I am only in one month of grieving and I dont like this feeling of loss and sadness.
May you be blessed.
Angela

Because she's my mom!
Posted: Sunday, August 9, 2015 9:04 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 737


Hi, Cowboys:
I remember you well. I'm so sorry you are having health issues, and I hope they clear up soon. I lost my dear mom to this evil disease just a few weeks ago, on July 20, after 12 years. I find myself sobbing at the oddest times.

Leland
Posted: Monday, August 10, 2015 10:35 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 314


Sorry you're still grieving so deeply, I lost my Joyce a month ago and I can't imagine feeling this way in three years, if it continues like this I don't what I will do

Leland

dayn2nite
Posted: Tuesday, August 11, 2015 2:15 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


Hi there, yes it's been 3 years. I can't believe it either.

I remember for a number of months right after, I felt like I was having a heart attack. My grief was in my chest, it hurt and I honestly thought I would die.

Three years later, I still cry when I think about mom, but mostly on "big" days like a holiday or her birthday. I miss her just as much as the first day she was gone, but I have learned to live with the grief and instead I look forward to the day I'll see her again when my time comes.

Oceanbum
Posted: Wednesday, August 12, 2015 5:31 AM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433


I heard a quote on grief just the other night that I wanted to share here. I quickly wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it:


Don't mourn that which you have lost. Rejoice instead that you had it.


I just love that quote. I have several quotes on adoption that I carry in my wallet. I think this will be the quote on grief that I will carry, too.




dayn2nite
Posted: Wednesday, August 12, 2015 2:58 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 3097


I heard a quote on grief just the other night that I wanted to share here. I quickly wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it:


Don't mourn that which you have lost. Rejoice instead that you had it.


I just love that quote. I have several quotes on adoption that I carry in my wallet. I think this will be the quote on grief that I will carry, too.

--------------------------

I love that quote, and generally all the bad memories have gone - every time I think about mom when she had dementia is a good time, when we were laughing about something, holding hands or how her face lit up when she would see me come in the NH.





Oceanbum
Posted: Tuesday, August 18, 2015 6:09 AM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433


Glad to hear that. I'm pretty much there, too. I do occasionally have the bad memories try to make their way back in. Especially when I drive by the nursing home where she lived for the last year and passed away. I try not to drive by. Sometimes I forget. It's only a block from my daughter's high school and on the way home. Sometimes I drive by on purpose. I just have to look up at her window. But for the most part the good memories crowd out the bad.

Now I'm in the beginning stages of working thru the grief process with my Dad. It's been 8 months since losing him to cancer. This first 8 months have gone by quickly and I have been so busy with the estate and clearing out the house that it really hasn't hit me as hard as it did with Mom. And maybe because I still had Dad. But now I am beginning to realize that they are both really gone. The bad memories with Dad were only a few short days but very haunting. Mom's passing was peaceful with no struggles. I wish I could say the same for Dad. The night I stayed with him will stay with me for the rest of my life. I'm just glad it was peaceful at the end.


mommy06
Posted: Tuesday, August 18, 2015 9:57 PM
Joined: 4/9/2012
Posts: 4


I know how you feel.It has been 3 1/2 years since I lost my Mom and I still cry everyday. The pain is just as strong now as it was that day. Hugs!!