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Yesterday, I picked up the ashes
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 11:37 AM
Joined: 2/15/2014
Posts: 170

I was so heartbroken when they called,  I cried and cried.  But I picked him up, and on the way home, I told him, see I can drive ok (he hated my driving).  I brought him into the living room, and he was there as I was wrapping presents, I told him, "I know, I know, I spent too much money".  It provided me a lot of peace to have him home with me again.  I did not expect to feel that comfort.  I kissed him goodnight and said good morning to him, this morning.  I wonder why it makes such a difference.  Did any of you find comfort in having them home, again.  For me it has been less than a week.  I went back to work the next day,  Hospice had left, and he did not want any kind of memorial, so there was nothing to do.  And as all of you, I have good moments and bad moments.  My family is trying to keep me busy, with Christmas, New Years and his birthday all within 10 days.  I have to learn to be on my own.  I tell everyone I hate being the only grown up in my house.
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 1:22 PM
Joined: 10/6/2012
Posts: 924

I had a very similar situation.  My husband just hated funerals so I knew that the time and expense of his own funeral would be something he would be opposed to.  So, my daughter and I just had him cremated, and we both went to work the next day.  Recently, we had a Buddhist ceremony and I found that to be lovely and also comforting.  I work from the house so Dickson sits next to me all day, just like in the good old days.  I thought that I might scatter his ashes but I'm not ready to do that.

Take care, Debra.

Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 1:31 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21306

Thank you for this. My husband is due home today or tomorrow. The plan had been to take him to Arlington but the week after he died I broke down and said no, he is coming home. Why would I want him 1/2 way across the country.

He will come home in the "complimentary" container because I can not decide what to put on a permanent one. Yes, that seems to be very important to me. Temporary/permanent both fit in his flight bag which will go onto a shelf nestled in among the books he so loved. Perhaps at night I will take him upstairs. 

Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 2:48 PM
Joined: 2/20/2014
Posts: 294

My mother kept Dad's ashes on her nightstand.

At her request, we had both their ashes mingled and scattered at sea, just beyond the Golden Gate Bridge. 
The boat Captain sent a certificate and emailed pictures.


Their last trip together.
dottie sue
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 4:35 PM
Joined: 12/21/2015
Posts: 9

I carry my Mom's ashes with me. Now she rides in my new car. I have sprinkled her ashes in Paris, San Fransisco, Abbey of Gethsemani, Spain..a few other places. She would have wanted that.
Lesley Jean
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 10:54 PM
Joined: 2/13/2013
Posts: 2965

My sister has parent's ashes. We plan  on taking them to Scotland, their home country, this Summer.  We will place 12 of each of their ashes in Clyde Bank, ( Glasgow) and the other 1/2 in Aberdeen.  This way they will be together in the cities were they grew up. 


Posted: Friday, December 25, 2015 4:12 PM
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 553

Yes I to have sard's ashes home with me.. I find it very comforting he is home with me where he belongs!!! It was 2 years on the 15 th of this month. I moved him around the house the first year in my house but now he is on the bookcase in my bedroom.. Is this what I planned no way but I followed my heart.. I did take some of his ashes to our favorite place in punts cana and sprinkled them in the ocean on our 45 anniversary ... So everyone follow your heart and you will never go wrong !!!!! Merry Christmas to all of you... Pauline