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Sea Field
A losing hand.
Posted: Saturday, April 16, 2016 9:18 AM
Joined: 1/16/2013
Posts: 400


 I was looking at the Memorial Thread and saw your post about your husband. Tomorrow Sunday April 17th is 1 year that he is gone. Not to long ago you told me milestones can be rough, and I agree. So I understand that Sunday will be worst than other day's for you.

 I wish there was something I could do or say that would make it better, but I'm at a loss for words.  Take care of yourself and good luck.

Sea Field
Posted: Saturday, April 16, 2016 3:09 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872

ALH, for a man who thinks he is at a loss for words - you did a wonderful job.  Thank you for thinking of me and wishing me well.

Yes, tomorrow will be one year since Tom's passing.  My son, stepson and his family, and my sister will gather here.  We will eat food, hug, tell stories, and most likely shed a few tears.  For my part, the tears are not tears of anguish.  They are now more tears of sadness yet also tears of peace. 

I still miss him.  I still remember with fondness our many years together.  I still sometimes long for those days.  At the same time, I am making peace with my circumstances as they are now.

Perhaps this is what they mean by healing and moving forward.

Monday will be the first day of year two.  And how will I begin this new phase?  With jury duty   Hopefully there won't be any cases to hear as I would rather not do this at this time.

Many blessings to you as you also travel down this rough road,  Cynthia

Posted: Saturday, April 16, 2016 8:44 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14836

 Hi Cynthia,

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow as you pass the one year mark.  I hope it isn't too hard- glad you won't be alone.

Yesterday was 15 months since Charles passed away.  I think it was as hard as the one year was.  Maybe it'll get easier as time passes.

Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2016 8:07 AM
Joined: 10/2/2012
Posts: 1283

Hi Cynthia, today I am thinking of you too. I'm glad you will be surrounded by your loved ones. I too, will be with you in spirit. I so admire you. Have peace today knowing how well you cared for Tom through "sickness and in health".

Bless you all, and stay strong,



Sea Field
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2016 4:28 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872

Well, I made it.  It was a beautiful day outside - sunny, mid 70s, light breeze.

My son, step son, step son's girlfriend and their children were able to come.

We sat outside, ate lots of food, talked, played with the kids.

About mid afternoon, we wrote messages to Tom on some helium filled balloons - using a sharpie.  Then one by one, we released our balloons and sent them skyward.  We watched them float away.

I felt a deep sense of peace for most of the day.  I admit, writing the messages on the balloons and releasing them was a bit emotional for me.

After everyone left to go home, I wept.

While crying, a life long friend (we've been friends since we were both 4) called to see how I was doing.  After talking with her for a while I was able to stop crying.  And even smile again.

All in all, a good day.  Not the easiest one.  But a good one.

Blessings, Cynthia

Posted: Monday, April 18, 2016 6:03 PM
Joined: 3/19/2013
Posts: 314

Cynthia, Milestones seem to be the worst as well as the best as we got through this emotional adjustment.

Joyce's birthday is on the horizon and I'm all ready a bit of a mess thinking about it, but it also offers an opportunity yo relive the joy we had as each others everything and here stories from family members who loved her as well.

Birthday is May 6th next will be July 4th the day she broke free of Alzheimer so there is a bit in front of me.

I have started to write our Love story , not far along but it has been cathartic