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tired and wired and some form of anxiety
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 2:59 AM
Joined: 11/21/2015
Posts: 237

OOk, so I don't know how to 'respond' to stress, for some reason I just feel numb and blank.  As some of you know, I got sick, a pet got sick (so sick I put her down b/c treatment wasn't promising) and no now another kitty started to have that choking like cough!  My body still fighting illness since April22, feels like end but juzt lingers on like may be even another illness starting. Ugh!  

II've spent 1000.00 on vets and even had myself in ER when I thought I may have had pnuemonia or Tb (thankfully chest xray clear).  My heart feels a bit like jello.    and still no explanation but they speculate that I have intestinal virus.

SSo on top of being sick, some 'kids' hit me up/begged for money at the local walmart parking lot.  I already feel vulnerable, I was the cranky old lady aT them.  I'm struggling with my own life, I can't help some kids that are up to no good.  I left to shop at a different store.  On top of that, I get home to a note on the complex bldg entrance about our patio/balcony rules.... plants, hanging items, patio furniture.... nothing about those cig butts the neighbor above drops down on me.  Just feel pinpointed for things I have out.. like what is definition of 'nice' patio furniture and maintained potted plants??  We have bigger issues like a dim parking lot b/c burned out street light... for over 6months. 

MMy other pet is following me around b/c she senses my anxiety. She keeps begging for food.  (Such strange symptom of her illness). I still hyperventilate about the decision to put down my other cat (4yrs old).  I still wonder why the vet who drained the pus off her chest said I could take her home and bring her back the next day for euthanization.  Was it code words for she might live another month without treatment.. I was/am confused.  I sure hope this kitty has better immune system!

I live alone and have little emotional support from family but my brain/body doesn't respond as it used to.  I used to have major breakdowns Under so stress.  Now I seem so overwhelmed my brain can't process a response.  IS this good or bad?  I know my brain is more scrambled but anxiety goes up/down.  Hyperventalation to total numbness to exhaustion to ???(unknown).  I used to stay in high anxiety mode for hours.

Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 3:04 AM
Joined: 11/21/2015
Posts: 237

FForgot to mention my body feels clammy at times.  but I don't have a fever, sore throat,  or full night sweat with this illness.  Had another dry coughing fit again tonight.
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 7:31 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408

Your anxiety is going through the roof and getting the best of you. Hyperventilation? Anxiety disorder? Making the decision about a sick pet is excruciatingly hard to do. Is there any type of community center in your area where you could possibly get some social support?
Mimi S.
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 7:59 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

Hi a-step-at-a-time,

Do call our help line 1-800-272-3900 and ask to speak with a Care Consultant. She will help you explore what's going on.

Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 9:22 AM
Joined: 4/25/2016
Posts: 25

If nothing else, i can completely relate.  Last night I no more than walked in the door after work and went right to bed.  I'm always wiped out - and if there is a bug going around I'll catch it.  I think what we have makes us vunerable mentally and physically.  Comfort in numbers - I do have family, but have never made close friends.  So I sincerely appreciate this board and people like you so I don't feel like I'm alone, or making up how I feel (all in my head...hey...I'm not sure if there is anything in my head anymore!  LOL)...and I hope I can help make you feel like you aren't aren't. :o)  HUGS to you.

If it cheers you up any to giggle...I told my husband this morning that I work with people my age...and I feel like they are all youngsters!  I'm 50 and feel and look like 60...

I fall apart anymore if I have things like you have described happen to me, or I go numb and simply function like I'm sleepwalking though life.

A wise priest once told me that there is no hell, we are living in it.  I found that strangely reassuring when I can't convince myself that it could be worse.  I hope you do too.

One thing I have learned it to take help in any way, shape or form that you can find it.

Thinking about you and will send positive thoughts your way.  Much love to you.

Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 3:15 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18357

If you can get a hold of a book called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weeks, it might help.  This book helped me immensely.  I can even say that it changed my life.  This  book explains anxiety and panic attacks, and what might be called nervous breakdowns by the public, and what to do about them.  This is an older book, but you might find it in your library.

One of our emeritus members, Alan in Colorado, was himself a psychchologist.  He impressed upon us patients that stress and anxiety reduce our cognition by HALF.  This was a crucial observation for me.  My goal was to reduce my stress and anxiety to help my cognition.  Stress is not the cause of my memory loss, but it worsens memory loss.

All methods of stress relief should be implemented.  Medication may be used, but don't rely solely on medication.  You must educate yourself and change your thoughts.  It can be done.

Iris L.

Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2016 11:37 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

Step -

Having to make a decision alone about your cat sounds sickening. The vet drained pus from the cat and sent you home with it -maybe to say goodbye, to have some time? But now the other cat is sick? and you do not feel well?

Plus lack of a best friend or lover to comfort you and talk with?

I am concerned something in your environment is making all of you ill.

 Is your apartment clean? I mean that as in refrigerator and able to wash dishes and stuff. My house has gone to heck for years, then we had some repairs done and mold was found under flooring and in insulation. Then I found another infected tooth. 

Very concerned about your situation. Please let us know of you do get help from online support or other person or if you figure it out. I believe you are not feeling well. The stress involved in making life and death decisions for our pet friends is huge. If it is not too much you might call the vet office and ask again if the cat had anything contagious.

Sorry your building is over monitoring your outdoor space! That stuff drives me nuts. I live in middle of nowhere and yet was given a heads up that I should not be outside in my underwear as men were going to be painting empty house next door. Who would even know if I am outside in my underwear? the squirrels? It made me feel monitored.

Please let us know how you are doing. Our bodies will heal themselves if given the chance so sleep when tired, extra water, walk if you can, soak in tub...some thing is off.

trying to care for yourself when you have dementia is really hard, I understand.

Posted: Thursday, May 12, 2016 12:50 AM
Joined: 11/21/2015
Posts: 237

OOhhhhh, thank you all for your support!!  

Today I had followup appointment to my doc offc from the ER visit.. She mentioned many people getting this illness.  (Adeno virus?). Then I picked up lunch out and about... And maybe now reinfected!  Yikes!

I was able to reach a counselor here in town.  Maybe I just needed a good listener (as you all have been too) and constructive feedback (thank you everyone)... And acknowledgement/confirmation that I am dealing with some major life things.

LLlee I will look for community center - great idea.

MMMimi, like the hotline idea but survived today with doc visit.

Iris there definitely oldy and goody books out.  Thanks for telling us.

HHoneywest.. You get me!  

Alz+, you are right, I hate making some decisions alone.

AAlz+ I didn't bring home sick kitty, b/c I'd hoped to minimize exposure to second kitty cat. This may or may not have worked.  Been trying to wash and sanitize everything but some things I forgot.  Like a rug that that particular cat liked, I found this kitty on it! So in the wash it went.

DDoc told me to rest and recover, and take probiotics.  At least i have some better sense to what this illness is!   I hate all the thoughts of 'what it could be'.

AAs far as complex note, I pitched somethings into trash and hope I pass this  'monitoring' test.   

Alz+... Maybe good habit to put robe or something over your underwear... We are in the age of drones now .  Ugh!

Posted: Thursday, May 12, 2016 7:34 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408


I hope you are feeling better! So glad to hear about the counselor and that you went to the Dr. 

You will make the best decision for the cat when the time comes. Make your time with he/she special now. Your diligence and kindness in caring for your cat and knowing you did all you possibly could will comfort you in the end.