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Clearing away things little by little
Posted: Thursday, August 18, 2016 9:35 AM
Joined: 5/31/2014
Posts: 124

A large tow truck just came to the house to take away mum's old 1991 Ford Escort. Eight years ago when registration was due it wasn't worth it to re-register and pay insurance since I had my own car and my mother was no longer driving.  (She had stopped driving 10 years ago when we moved into our 2 family house).  However, for the first few years she liked looking at it in the driveway so there it stood year after year, not looking the way it used to, not functioning the way it used to, just like my mother.

It has been difficult trying to clear out things from her apartment.  I open drawers, sigh, and then push the drawer back in.

I cried when that car was  taken away.  I don't know why, it is just a 25 year old car.  But the tears are good.  I haven't done too much crying since mum passed away in April since I did most of my crying about her the last few years.

Step by step, little by little.

I think I will try to clear out a shelf on her bookcase now.


Posted: Thursday, August 25, 2016 1:47 PM
Joined: 2/15/2014
Posts: 168

It is hard, it feels so very final.  My dh was a hoarder,  I started out saying I would get rid of 10 items a day.  Kids came and we filled two 30 yard dumpsters,  I still have stuff in the garage and basement.
Posted: Friday, August 26, 2016 9:11 PM
Joined: 12/26/2013
Posts: 524

My hubby passed away July 18... about 2 weeks later I took his clothes/shoes, etc.  to a facility that helps men get back into the workforce.   A week after that I stripped the bed and threw everything away, including his pillow.

Now I am wondering what to do with the pictures of his parents' vacations..stuff that means nothing to me, and meant nothing to him either... but out they will get.

Seems like a good time to downsize and have a yard sale..  maybe next year in the spring/summer..

Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2016 8:51 AM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 2663

I have two friends whom both lost their LO's several months ago. Each has a vastly different approach / reaction to clearing their LO's things away. One wants it done, but just can't make herself do it yet. The other found strength in giving her LO's things away to people whom could use it. Yes she has several things of his she kept, but clothing, etc is all gone.

As with our LO's going through this process each one is different. I'm finding the reaction of the LO left behind is every bit as different.

There isn't a time line. Personally my mom wouldn't let us touch dad's things. Then at her passing I had to deal with both of their things - that was tough. 

The journey is different for everyone.


Posted: Monday, September 5, 2016 12:04 PM
Joined: 1/9/2015
Posts: 22

MY husband passed 5 months ago and did like you and gave away clothes/shoes etc away 2 weeks after. Now this month I'm having an auction for his tools sporting equipment even his chair. At first the kids were mad said it was to soon. But I'm the one here looking at this stuff every day and I feel it is time to get on with the different way of life I'm living now.  I think the best way to do that is remove these things. They ate just things not memories 


Posted: Thursday, September 8, 2016 2:35 PM
Joined: 9/8/2016
Posts: 45

It's so hard I feel so bad for you, i hope you are okay and that soon will feel much better, good thoughts and vibes for you!