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Alzheimers and being Gay
Posted: Saturday, September 9, 2017 8:54 PM
Joined: 9/6/2017
Posts: 24

My great aunt is gay. She won't outright say it. She says "I dont like men. Never have". She also had a massive collection of pictures of scantily clad women in her apartment, LOL. Shes 95 years old and still believes that it is dangerous to be 'out' just like it was when she was a young woman. She has stated that going to Pride w/ me, also gay, would be "interesting" and she would like to see it. I wish so bad for her to be able to come out and be comfortable with herself, but at the same time I know she is stuck in the 1930's-1940's and the idea terrifies her. I feel so lucky to be living in an era where I dont have to hide and live in secret. I want to connect with her but I dont know how.
Mimi S.
Posted: Sunday, September 10, 2017 7:45 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

Welcome to our world, Monateru. We're so glad you found us.

Do keep doing what you're doing.  Find a gathering to take her to.  Are you also gay?  Have you shared this with her? If so, have her with you at a discussion group were the folks there have all 'come out.'  Wonder how many times she had to attend before she would be able to share?

And if she still can't abide the designation, leave it be. She knows you accept her, no matter what her sexual orientation.

Posted: Thursday, September 28, 2017 6:24 PM
Joined: 11/18/2016
Posts: 451

Connect with her as your aunt, forget about the gayness- all due respect, that is her battle to fight, not yours. She knows who and what she is, we all do. And without knowing all the Particulars, I can see by her age, she’s lived like this for a very long time. That obviously, wasn’t the road you took but she has chosen another. Coming out at 52 was and continues to be the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Besides having dementia. Imagine that- it doesn’t sound like your version at all, or even my wife’s. But everyone has a different experience and I think maybe it’s important to you that she come out and live freely and openly as she is , so you speak,  but maybe her priorities have changed, along with her age,  and that may no longer be something she wants to tackle in her life any longer.