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George K
Posted: Wednesday, November 1, 2017 6:04 AM
Joined: 12/16/2011
Posts: 2823

This is part of a daily meditation I get... 

We're striving for acceptance in our present circumstances. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves.

Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in stages of denial, anger, negotiating, and sadness. We call these stages the grief process. Grief can be frustrating. It can be confusing. We may vacillate between sadness and denial. Our behaviors may vacillate. Others may not understand us. We may neither understand our own behavior nor ourselves while we're grieving our losses. Then one day, things become clear. The fog lifts, and we see that we have been struggling to face and accept a particular reality.

Don't worry. If we are taking steps to take care of ourselves, we will move through this process at exactly the right pace. Be understanding with yourself and others for the very human way we go through transition.

Today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss and change.

How do we grieve?

Awkwardly. Imperfectly. Usually with a great deal of resistance. Often, with anger and attempts to negotiate. Ultimately, by surrendering to the pain.

The grief process, says Elisabeth Kubler Ross, is a five stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and, finally, acceptance. That's how we grieve; that's how we accept; that's how we forgive; that's how we respond to the many changes life throws our way.

Although this five-step process looks tidy on paper, it is not tidy in life. We do not move through it in a compartmentalized manner. We usually flounder through, kicking and screaming, with much back and forth movement - until we reach that peaceful state called acceptance.

When we talk about "unfinished business" from our past, we are usually referring to losses about which we have not completed grieving. We're talking about being stuck somewhere in the grief process. Sometimes, the place where we become stuck is denial.. Passing through denial is the first and most dangerous stage of grieving, but it is also the first step toward acceptance.

We can learn to understand the grief process and how to apply it to our lives. Even good changes can bring loss and, consequently, grief. We can learn to help others and ourselves by understanding and becoming familiar with this process. We can learn to fully grieve our losses, feel our pain, accept, and forgive, so we can feel joy and love.

PRAYER:  Today, God, help me open myself to the process of grieving my losses. Help me allow myself to flow through the grief process, accepting all the stages so I might achieve peace and acceptance in my life. Help me learn to be gentle with others and myself while I go through this very human process of healing.

Posted: Wednesday, November 1, 2017 4:28 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

Thank you, George.  This can apply to any circumstance in life, not only death of a loved one.  I'm going through my sibling disconnecting and severing ties with me.  So it is a death of sorts.  It does entail all aspects of the grief process.  It does require acceptance of the circumstances and hopefully peace will come one day for me.  It was good for me to read this today.  The only way for me to have peace with this situation is to accept it.  Working on it.