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Jim's Birthday...Wednesday, November 1st
Needing Support
Posted: Thursday, November 2, 2017 8:50 PM
Joined: 2/17/2014
Posts: 122

Yesterday, Wednesday, November 1st, was Jim's first birthday since his passing on January 1, 2017. 

I had family over for lunch and afterwards spent time with me! Even though I had a good time with my kids and grand kids, I was flashing back to Jim's birthday last year.  I ended up in tears, but did not have a complete break down, and got family support!

After my family left, I went back to my computer to check my e-mails.  Jim was cremated, and his urn was placed in a niche in the mausoleum after Jim's service.  Since I was in such an emotional state with Jim's passing in 2 days instead of two months later, it was hard to make all the arrangements, but had my kids to help me out.

Unfortunately, Jim's urn was placed in a niche that a person would have to use a step ladder to be able to see his urn. Our family was not happy with the placement of Jim's urn and wanted to see if we could have Jim's urn moved to another niche that was at eye level rather than on the roof so to speak due to the height of Jim's niche.

Since I just paid for all of the expenses  by one check, I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the break down of each item...funeral cost, cremation, urn,  niche, etc.

So believe it or not, I got an e-mail from the family service counselor yesterday at the mausoleum on Jim's birthday about moving JIm's urn to another niche.  WOW!!!  Of all days to get  an e-mail about moving Jim's urn to another niche..on Jim's birthday!!!

After the counselor went over the choices and the costs of other niches, I decided to pass on moving Jim's urn to another niche due to the cost and the placement of Jim's urn in another niche...the niche would be too low...almost on the ground.

The bottom line is that  even trying to move Jim's urn to another niche NOW brought me back emotionally to re-living some of the memories of the past!!!

I have decided to just let sleeping dogs lie so to speak and not move Jim's urn to another niche since I have pictures of Jim when he was happy and healthy before he got sick which makes me feel good!!!  I want to remember the happy and healthy Jim!!!

Has anyone either thought about or moved their spouses urn to another niche after almost 10 months after their passing?

Needing Support



Posted: Wednesday, November 8, 2017 5:31 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105

I just want to give you a hug.  All of the "firsts" are hard.  I think it's remarkable that you were contacted about moving the urn and on your husband's birthday, that's kind of amazing especially since you've been thinking about it.

I haven't thought about moving my parents' urns, but I have to admit, I wish I could just see the urns one more time.  At the service, it happens so fast, they take the urn and place it, in our case, it's a niche with a stone covering.  I don't know, I just think I would like to see them again and touch the urns.  I know that sounds silly, but I think of it as a comfort.  I don't think it's unusual at all to have these feelings.  Your loss is still pretty fresh, not even a year. 

I guess you can think of it this way, him being higher, he's closer in spirit to heaven.  But most of all, he's really in your heart and you carry him with you.  Peace and blessings to you.