RSS Feed Print
Explaining No-one Else Being In House to my dad / making my sister understand 1our dad can't help his actions
Posted: Friday, July 27, 2018 11:32 PM
Joined: 7/27/2018
Posts: 1

My sister and I take care of our 96 year old dad. He has good days and bad; the last couple nights have been pretty bad. We are trying to help our dad understand the people he sees in his room aren't there. What is the best way to do this? Last night he was insisting his room was the mill where he worked. He also sees a little girl standing and spinning on the cat scratch post. Another thing he sees are the legs of some man sticking out from under his hanging clothes. This is very hard watching our dad go through this. We don't want to upset him so I was hoping we could find some help. My sister keeps telling him he has to sleep but with sundowners it just doesn't happen. I feel stuck in the middle because she keeps saying she wished he would just rest....

I wish there was a support group we could go to.. I try my best, yes it is very hard, but I accept the symptoms of this horrible she sits and in a way, complains. I understood when I said I'd move in her place to help with our dad that this would be very hard. I have no idea what she thought it would be. My sister isn't mad but she (has no common sense) and I think she feels our dad will get better.

I don't know what else to do.7


Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, July 28, 2018 8:05 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7035

Welcome to our world, Beck. I'm so glad you found us.

Any one can post a where on this site but you will get more responses if you repost in the Caregivers section.

What your dad is going through is fairly common. Does it upset him?  If not, the common thought is to validate what he is seeing. From or library ask for anything written by Naomi Feil with the wore Validation in the title. Not an easy read, but worth it.

I think the popular 36 Hour Day also covers it.

Will your sister read about the disease? In my opinion, the very best is on-line: Understanding The Dementia Experience.

Posted: Sunday, July 29, 2018 1:49 AM
Joined: 7/29/2018
Posts: 1

We've gone through the same thing with my mother in law. We found it best to go along with what she says she sees. If she says there is a man in the room with a hat (and asks why is he there), we tell her he just came to say hello and he's leaving. Then she says hello and goodbye and its done. Otherwise if you tell them they are wrong or try to ignore it, they get irritated and frustrated because what they 'see' and 'hear' are very real to them. It is very hard. Just keep showing love and patience. Accept the 'new' them the way they are.
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2018 2:47 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18370

please do repost on one of the caregivers boards
Mimi S.
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2018 6:40 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7035

Welcome to our world, K. I'm so glad you found us.

Thank you for sharing your great advice.