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I'll stay in bed o husband can go off, what can go wrong
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2018 9:54 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

Title should read SO husband can go off...

My husband is my sole  CGvr and he needs breaks, so a few days ago I told him to "just go!" and promised I would not do anything but lay in bed with movies. what can happen with me in bed all day?

After he left I was stung by a hornet. It gave me a full shot of venom and hurt like crazy. I scraped the area with a knife, tried witch hazel, it kept burning. I found some insect bite spray in cabinet and it worked, got back in bed feeling very accomplished in survival skills.

An hour later I threw off the covers to get water and the wasp got me again, this time I swatted it with both hands and got stung twice for it, then it stung my thigh. Managed to get it to floor and tried to kill it but pain was so intense I let it be. I got the spray and soaked both hands and thigh marks, it helped a lot.

I have not been urinating normally since, forgot Benadryl affects me that way since ALZ. So in bed is not even a place to feel safe. I am drinking lots of water, some with fresh lemon juice, this morning have peed more than all of yesterday but still puffy.

Now husband needs to go away for a few nights as his sister is dying and he was worried about me being alone. What can go wrong?


The wasp was not dead so I chucked it into a jar and left it outside, I think it survived my shoe pounding.

there is no point to this story except next week it will be really funny.

Jo C.
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2018 3:27 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12279

Ouch!   I am so sorry.  A wasp!   What are the odds of such a thing happening, good grief.

 Know what alz+; why not speak to your Hospice RN and Social Worker and find out what assistance you can get while DH is away?   Someone to come in for a few hours each day?   Or; how about someone to deliver Meals on Wheels each day . . . . they bring both lunch and supper.  Someone can call each day to check in with you if you do not want someone in the house.

Don't want to think you would go hungry and if meals are delivered, it is a daily contact.  Don't forget to keep the phone with you, even when using the bathroom. 

 That's me; a worry wart, but a week can be quite a bit of time.

 Take good care and indulge yourself and let us know how you are doing.


Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2018 1:12 AM
Joined: 8/22/2016
Posts: 263

Alz+ you are one brave lady.  I was stung by a bee a few times in my armpit of all places when I put my arm down. All of a sudden I started crying. The pain was such a surprise. 

I have some experience with Meals on Wheels, as my husband works far from home three days a week, and a friend suggested we have these on hand for when he can't cook. If you do order them, ask for kosher ones, as they're quite a bit better tasting. Meals on wheels vegetables from the microwave are awful though. Soggy and hard at the same time. But it beats having nothing to eat, and they deliver and it's free. 

What about the priest and your church? Is there someone from church who can visit and bring a meal? Maybe the priest can visit you? 

Who is walking your dog? 

Posted: Tuesday, August 14, 2018 6:32 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

JoC - phone in bathroom! never would have thought of that, thanks.

Canada - I have food already made for me, and lots of it!

Looking forward to him being around people who can function normally and then he will miss me.

I suppose the hospice nurse is going to drop in anyway. 

The dog walks with me to corner and back, sometimes I can go further but probably won't go far. I live on an old ski  hill, people are scattered over the area working on stuff and virtually no traffic. If I  do get over heated or anything someone passing by will ask if I need ride home. also dog has a tie out in front of house, she dug a trench along the deck and spies on passerby from there. If she takes off, someone brings her home or she comes home on her own. She has very low needs from me, not like other dog who protected and escorted me.

I relish time alone! My anxiety begins as day ends so I  will take new cbd drops before, learning to  work with new brand. 3 hours after sublingual dose I feel very PLEASANT towards all around me.

Another friend died last week in California so I could not visit before or help with things, again. I went outside to say goodbye and a tiny tiny hummingbird flew down to me, faced me in mid air and stared at me. I was certain it was Sign as we were all bird watchers. I hope the hornet was not the actual messenger! 

My life must seem incredibly small but living it is fairly easy, esp with a microwave.  

what can go wrong? Nothing funny about things going right.

Jo C.
Posted: Saturday, August 18, 2018 11:55 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12279

How is it going, alz+ . . . .  have you left the wasps alone and they you?   Gads; hope that was only a one time event.

I wonder if you have enjoyed some of your quiet time and hope all is going well.


Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2018 5:28 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

Jo C -

He's baaaacccckkk! 

I had great time when he was gone. No one to monitor my movements and tell me "no" - none of his moods to accommodate, got to turn off news and listen to music, cleaned up stuff in kitchen area, did some laundry.

The tiring part was the dog, she has a tie out and is very easy low demand dog but just responding to her need for walks, water, food, entertainment, maybe more know it was all up to me was hard.

My kidneys are starting to work. The benadryl reaction hits me very hard, had pounds of water in tissues.

Truly, I am much more functional when he is gone and am reconsidering the rest of my life, where I could be. I would like to be in my house alone again, did not realize how much I have to accommodate husband's moods and sleep habits, or how much I have to depend on him being in the mood to take me to big lake or anywhere.

when he came home it was 10 minutes until I wished he would leave.

Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2018 5:33 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

thank you for caring and asking. I  was upset after reading comments in an article online about how other cultures take care of family with dementia and then read the comments...Not sure what I replied to  some of them but I could have slapped some faces I was so angry.

when people ridicule dementia patients it instantly brings up the rejection and abuse that followed my diagnosis from my family and brought back memories of how they would ignore my dad or laugh at his attempts to convey something. 

having good cry and came here to ask about weighted blankets for anxiety, read your comment, and now having Good Cry. Thank you so much for always being so kind to every one.

Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2018 7:08 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12279

Sweet alz+, I wrap my arms around you in a big soft hug from many miles away.   Drats when those down feelings hit. 

 Sounds like your "respite" from hubby-bubby was a good time for you; good!   Perhaps you have to plan places for him to go during certain days of the week and then for long weekends with friends or family to get extra breathing space for youself.

 So he watches news all day; my DH is bonded to every political show on  TV and records them; I cannot abide them and find other things to do in another room.   Ugh!  I stay informed but cannot stand all the blabbering on and on.  The yakkers offering their opinions are so many, they look like talking cabbages all lined up just waiting to say whatever inane thing they want to expound on.  I can feel my inner self shriveling when that starts up, so I leave and go to another part of the house.

You are, by the way, marvelous to read.   You are smart, interesting and have SUCH  a marvelous sense of humor.    Sometimes you give me a good out loud guffaw and heaven knows, guffaws are in short supply these days.  Really. 

 Someone mentioned the other day that we are only about four months out from the holidays . . . oh gads.   That means that the stores will begin to put their Christmas stuff out next month.  Spoil sports!  Since we have ahem; "matured," we don't do the all-out Christmas stuff we used to do. 

 We could sure use some rain out here in California. the fires are coming under control, but are still burning and the high risk danger is still in place.  Sure do need for winter to come, but then that brings mud slides from the burn areas which are mostly on hill areas.

Are you still able to get out of a swim now and then?  Sure is such good exercise and the water really does the body and mind good.   Really soothing.

 Take good care and know you are always thought of,


Posted: Sunday, August 19, 2018 8:52 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408

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