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Posted: Sunday, November 11, 2018 9:15 PM
Joined: 8/13/2017
Posts: 8

i lost my grandpa a year ago to Alzheimers and I'm having a hard time. My grandpa was like a father to me. He made me feel loved and made me feel like I was someone special. We had a special bond and it hurts to say past tense words such as was and had. My grandpa and I had a plan of the things we would do when the time came for a visit. I feel horrible we never got the chance to do those things such as going to the beach. He lived in South Carolina and I live in Illinois. Now it's been a year since he's passed and I feel lost without him. I don't feel special anymore. I feel guilty for not calling enough during the last year of his life. I hate myself for it and I do nothing but cry everyday over missing him. I'm taking a grief support group at my church and I believe it's slowly helping. I know he's at peace and he's home in heaven with his parents but I struggle trying to cope with his loss.
dutiful deb
Posted: Sunday, November 11, 2018 11:23 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1913

Hi, Granddaughter B,

You sound like a very loving granddaughter who would be a blessing to any grandparent.  Your grandfather was lucky to have you to share plans and dreams with!  You did not get to do all the things with him that you wanted, and I know how hard that is, but there is still time to do those things on his behalf. Sometimes having something to dream about, and having someone to talk about those dreams with, is just as pleasant as actually doing them, so just sharing those plans with your grandfather must have been a wonderful gift to him.

I understand a lot of what you described; I felt that way after losing my dad in 2007. We had a special bond that could not be replaced, and when he died, I felt like I had lost a part of myself. Are there any other family members, such as parents, siblings, or cousins, that you can talk to about your grandpa?  My daughter and my niece were close to my mom, who passed away 6 months ago from Alzheimer's.  My niece, who is several years older than my daughter, had an especially close relationship with both my parents, as they, like your grandpa, were like Mom and Dad to her.  We share a lot of memories together, which helps a lot. 

You can always come here and talk about your grandpa, too. We would love to hear about the plans you made with him, things you did together, and the good times you shared! 


Posted: Saturday, January 5, 2019 7:04 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5213

Losing a loved one, especially someone who was like a parent to us, is so hard. There is no short cut to grieving and I think you are making  progress that is appropriate for you. Some of us are tender-hearted and it may take more time. I know your grandfather would want you to be having fun and be happy. So along with your tears for your grandfather -also try to have fun for his sake, too.

 You are a loving, caring granddaughter-a gift your grandfather knew he had and it made him very happy. Take care of yourself!