RSS Feed Print
Marital status
elainechem
Posted: Thursday, March 26, 2020 9:54 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6043


I haven't cried in days (okay, just two days), but then I got some forms to get my husband's pension as it is inherited. They had a form for tax withholding. Under marital status, it only had two options - married or single. I'm not married anymore, but I am decidedly NOT single! Single means that you never bothered to get married in the first place. I had to check off single so that they would withhold enough, but it really hurt.
Army_Vet60
Posted: Friday, March 27, 2020 5:02 AM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 840


I know how you feel.

I didn't expect filing taxes to be this emotional, but I just received a close out tax form for an account that was  in my wife's name, and I have to do a close-out joint filing.

I believe this close out filing is the "official" last acknowledgement of our marriage, and it does hurt.


MPSunshine
Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2020 1:01 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011


Hi, Elaine and Army_Vet, I lost parents not a spouse so I do believe the emotions are quite different, but I was going to say, the reminders keep coming! It's been almost three years for my mom and five for my dad and they don't fit into any of the boxes on the forms. Every time a piece of mail comes in with one of their names on it I get this sort of "pang" in my heart, like "I miss them." Yesterday, I was reading the Bible, and I wish I could cite the verse, but there was something in there about giving respect to those who have died but to push that energy into the living. For me, this is hard to do, even though I have a mentally ill son who desperately needs my attention. It's just really hard to be with him. I kind of force myself, but he's been so depressed during his recovery but now especially because of all the covid19 stuff going on. But I must focus on him, because he's alive. Same with my husband, who had to close up his workspace due to them closing everything to the public, again because of covid19. So they're all here, which is great in a way, but I will acknowledge that they are very different personalities and of course I'm very happy my husband is here especially to help with our son, but it's just so different. It's like the things I thought were boring before (the endless cooking shows, the Olympics up to the very last event shown for the night) are now replaced with this awful news cycle, into which I refuse to immerse myself. And, well, they are just different. They are my loved ones, but this is getting off the track of your post, which Yes, they don't fit into those boxes neatly do they? Never! And they never will. But yeah, it does bring up all the feelings. I can say for my mom that she didn't at all see herself as a "widow." She just didn't like the word. I imagine I'll follow in her footsteps in that regard, but who knows? I just don't like the sound of the word really, so I'll avoid it however I can! But God has a plan and I just have to take one day at a time here and just keep on going.
Army_Vet60
Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2020 3:56 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 840


MPSunshine,
I understand what you're saying about the mail you receive.

Several times, I've contacted businesses and asked them to remove my wife from their mailing list as she is deceased.  

I just mailed my taxes today. This is probably the last paperwork that will ever have my wife's name on it. It really pained me to see the accountant typed "deceased" as her signature...

Elaine, if you're reading this, how are you doing with your husband's paperwork? 


elainechem
Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2020 5:45 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6043


Army vet: I received the life insurance. I'm awaiting the pension. I'll believe it when I see it. My appointment with SSA still isn't until the 27th. It was always going to be a phone interview. It was set up before the virus scare hit. My son is supposed to get an increase in his SSDI in April. He gets disability based on his dad's SSDI. Right now, the bank is showing a $122.00 payment due tomorrow. That better not be all they're sending him! He's supposed to get over $1,500.00! Sigh. I hate this part.