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Strategies for home life-please help
Mirjoh
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2020 11:37 PM
Joined: 7/12/2020
Posts: 1


This is my first day here. I’m glad to find some help. I am looking for ideas to help my dad throughout his day. He is still really functioning quite well however he misplaces objects all of the time and then cannot relax and calm down until he finds them. The major culprits are his phone, his keys, his wallet, This is my first day here. I’m glad to find some help. I am looking for ideas to help my dad throughout his day. He is still really functioning quite well however he misplaces objects all of the time and then cannot relax and calm down until he finds them. The major culprits are his phone, his keys, his wallet and sunglasses. He has that Tile on somethings but it seems to only sometimes work. Any strategies for helping him/us be able to keep them all together?
zauberflote
Posted: Tuesday, July 14, 2020 8:40 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1388


Mirjoh, if you post this on the Caregiver Forum, you will get many more answers. It's pretty busy there.
RobOT
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2020 1:29 AM
Joined: 3/12/2017
Posts: 262


Mirjoh, so sorry you're dealing with this, my dad has the same thing going on.  Do you know why the Tile doesn't work sometimes?  Is the signal being blocked in certain places?  I don't know a lot about the tech stuff, but here is a place where they review GPS devices like Tile.  https://www.bestreviews.guide/gps-tracker-for-wallet-long-range  Hope you can get some help there,
Willamoon
Posted: Tuesday, August 18, 2020 9:18 AM
Joined: 5/30/2020
Posts: 5


ugh. This is such a challenging time in the progression of dementia. The good news is that it does pass. I am the primary care partner for my friend who has dementia. I think distraction is helpful. At a certain point, I would say, "oh here's your bag...." It may not have been the bag that was lost, but the illusion of finding whatever was lost tends to assuage the anxiety of the PWD. Unfortunately it didn't always assuage my anxiety/annoyance, but it worked for him. Gradually, I took responsibility for all of these items. I put them in a drawer and he just stopped noticing he didn't have them. In many ways, my friend is much easier to work with now that he has progressed to a later stage.
alz+
Posted: Friday, September 4, 2020 1:12 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3583


willamoon

loved your sense that as disease progressed things got easier.

When early in this condition I was upset by those missing things, a lot and often.

I taught myself to let things be missing. Seems like the idea/image of the lost thing is blacked out by brain.  "I just looked there and it wasn't there, and now it is!" happened so often I learned to tell myself it might turn up and relax. Yesterday after days of not finding any sweat pants and starting to get upset, I stopped, took deep breaths, told myself it'll be a nice surprise when I find them.

Found them today in my emergency escape bag (wild fires). 

Earlier on in cognitive changes I was frustrated often and people around me did not like that. People upset around me increased anxiety, anxiety lowers cognitive abilities - no one told me I could learn new ways of doing things, or how to try giving up certain things. The idea is give it up for an hour or day or week and see how that feels. Always the anxiety about stuff is the worst of it.

Simplify, streamline, edit the stuff I need every day (prescriptions, coffee beans, toothpaste, etc) always same place = easier living with cognitive changes. I gave up all things to do with money and numbers. I just do things I can do and like to do - laundry, swimming, watch movies, sit with neighbor cat, water plants.

I had telephone counseling to help with anxiety - I hate telephones, ha! It helped and learned we can Learn to work with changes. I also suspect when an automatic way of doing things was erased I could sometimes use other parts of brain to do same thing -different but same outcome. 

when I discovered I can't do somethings the old way but I can do similar in new way, and when it was too aggravating and difficult....to just drop it (money management in my case is just over).

Let a person do things they can do - rock hunting , wash a car, fold laundry, pull weeds, dance... etc and let them do it. My dad was upset when we took keys from him, he loved his car. So we washed it and it satisfied him.

We can still learn to calm ourselves, maybe easier later on than in beginning? When trouble handling stuff I learned to tell myself "so what? find peace" and I calm down.

Also CBD oil allows me more room to get through day with nothing broken. 

Look at cognitive changes with new eyes. Add a dog and things usually get better. Attitude determines mindset to some degree.