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I Miss My Wife So Much
Posted: Tuesday, November 10, 2020 11:08 PM
Joined: 2/24/2020
Posts: 159

My wife died October 22 and I miss her so much. We had each other. She died at home as I held her hand. The hospice nurse didn’t get here in time when her breathing got bad. I hated what Alzheimer’s did, but I miss her so much! I can’t talk anymore.
Posted: Wednesday, November 11, 2020 6:29 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1503

   ((((((Bholmes))))))) Take a deep breath relax your DW will always be by your side. My DH passed away 3 years ago and please believe me it does get a bit easier as time goes by.  

Hugs Zetta    

Posted: Thursday, November 12, 2020 3:20 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 401

I grieve with you for your terrible loss.

Take very gentle care of yourself. 

My grieving for my mother has been somewhat complex and not at all straightforward.

I grieve for her struggles all her life.

I grieve for the active suffering dementia brought her.

I am deeply thankful she is not suffering now.  I am most grateful I had the chance to be at her side when she died.

Sometimes, grief comes to the surface.  Other times, I feel it deep and unmoving within.

Do you have people in your life with whom you can share your grief?  People who have memories of your wife? 

Sharing stories has helped me make the hole in my chest left by my mother's death to feel less cavernous.

They don't even have to be positive stories.  Just the shared remembrance of the person who is missing.  

Again, be very gentle with yourself.

Posted: Thursday, November 12, 2020 7:08 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 998

Bholmes wrote:
My wife died October 22 and I miss her so much. We had each other. She died at home as I held her hand.
    The first year is going to be really hard on you.  The psychological and emotional damage ALZ does to the Caregiver is insidious.  
    Does the Hospice that took care of your wife offer Grief Counseling for you?  It wouldn't hurt to look into it. My counselor told me it'd be a year before I even began to feel normal again.
      That is a fair assessment on her part.  I'm 16 months past my wife's death, and getting through life is still a day to day fight.  

       I hope you get whatever help you need to get through this tragedy.   

Posted: Thursday, November 12, 2020 11:03 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5202

I'm very sorry for the terrible loss you have suffered. I'm sure you loved each other very much. It's a tragedy to lose our life partners.

 When my husband and I talk about it-we know one will die before the other and we say we feel sorry for the one who will be left behind. Sometimes it is more difficult to live on, but in time we do.

I took full advantage of the hospice and funeral home's grief counseling. It consisted of newsletters during COVID times, but were still very helpful. And of course we are here to lend an ear or a shoulder. Take time to grieve and hope one day you can tell us about your dear wife. Take good care of yourself.