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The Promise
Callie in Boston
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 8:33 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 422


Really well written and touching story about the promise of keeping your spouse from  nursing home.

https://www.gq.com/story/the-promise-that-tested-my-parents-until-the-end


Rescue mom
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 9:06 AM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 1818


The link may not work, but it’s worth a google search to read this story. It’s an exceptionally, beautifully written story about his caregiver mother and father with dementia/Parkinson’s.
newbloomer
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 9:20 AM
Joined: 2/14/2020
Posts: 23


All I can say is WOW, what a beautiful, sad but loving story.

the link worked for me. I copied and pasted.

thanks for sharing.


zauberflote
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 11:23 AM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1388


Oh my. As if I didn't have enough aging issues on my heart and mind. DH wants to die at home (no promises ever elicited) whereas I would rather not have my oddball sons and sane DIL (whose mother will also have dementia no doubt) have to go through what we see here on the children-of-PWD boards daily, along with what MIL's girl children went through to manage the full-time in-home care MIL received. 

Callie, thank you for posting this. It is beautifully written. 


Beachfan
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 3:13 PM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 613


What a sad, yet touching story.  And so well written.  Thanks for posting.
Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 5:02 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11495


Here is a good link to the writing with a clear view without ads and with multiple photos:

 https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/promise-tested-parents-until-end-220313874.html

Thank you for sharing this with us; it is beautifully written and deeply touching.  It certainly is well worth reading. 

J.


Crushed
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 6:45 PM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 6162


The way she cares for him, he will live forever.

The way she cares for him, she will not live much longer.

She has shingles now, and skin cancer, and tendinitis in both forearms from years of lifting him. I can’t feel my fingertips,

she says, amazed.

 

 

 

I'm sorry but Some cultures used to kill the wives and throw into the graves or onto the funeral pyre.

The Sati or suttee was a historical practice found chiefly among Hindus in the northern and pre-modern regions of South Asia, in which a widow sacrifices herself by sitting atop her deceased husband's funeral pyre. The extent to which sati was practised in history is not known with clarity.  "
Seven relatives of a 75-year-old widow have been arrested by police for standing by and watching while she burnt herself to death on her husband's funeral pyre."https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/oct/14/india

 What kind of person expects a devoted spouse to die for them?



Callie in Boston
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2020 8:31 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 422


I suspect part of her total commitment had to do with the fact that she was a nurse in a nursing home.  Once a caretaker, it's hard to change.  

We have talked about keeping each other at home as long as we can (all  4 of our parents had some type of dementia) and this is what they did (with help).  But neither of us would expect the other to die or be injured. 

Just a very sad story, but so well written.

BTW - my mom (vascular dementia, since passed) used to tell us ALL the time not to feel bad about putting her in a nursing home.  She did not want my sister or I to suffer or be responsible.  But of course she totally forgot about that as her disease progressed and was not happy when we could not care for her and moved her to a very nice board and care.