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christmas smiles
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2020 10:22 AM
Joined: 7/26/2020
Posts: 4

As my mom gets deeper into this awful disease I am finding some comfort in reaching her in new ways. Sometimes she knows me sometimes not but I am getting used to that.

I find that she is loving christmas so I am decorating everywhere and she loves it. Her eyes light up like a small childs and she asks why are you doing that and I explain christmas for the 100th time that day lol. I love to watch her smile and listen to her laugh it brings me great joy to know I have the ability to be with her 24/7.

Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2020 11:11 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2404

It's so nice that she enjoys the decorations! Enjoy this time with her. You are making new memories.
Merry Christmas to you both.

Posted: Friday, January 1, 2021 10:42 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1323

My Barbara didn't quite make it to what would have been our 38th Christmas together. She passed on December 20, 2020. For her last week of life she was sleeping almost the entire week. A few times her left eye would open, but there was no evidence that she was seeing me.

What I get to remember is that exactly 2 weeks prior to her passing, she was ( for a short time ) wide awake, with both eyes open, and when I asked her to smile for me, she she was able to. That's when I took the picture that I now have as my profile pic.

That beautiful pic, and 2 weeks later - gone. For her last week, I had been talking with her a lot ; letting her know that I would be ok, and assuring her that I was going to miss her a lot. I told her how much I regretted that we were not able to go walking on the beach anymore.

For 2 years, at least, I would wake up, and take care of her first. There would be getting her onto the commode, then pills, her drink, her teeth, and finally her breakfast. After she was all comfortable in her chair, then I would finally allow my growling tummy to have something. Now when I wake up, I fix my breakfast right away.

It still feels wrong, but I know this will pass, like all of the other feelings.

Posted: Sunday, January 3, 2021 11:13 AM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1709

Dear Chrisp,

Barbara is beautiful it shows the wonderful care you gave her. That is a beautiful picture of her. You will treasurer that picture and all the sweet smiles she shared with you. My DH passed away 3 years ago and things have gotten easier. Now its time to take care of yourself for Barbara. Hugs Zetta 

George K
Posted: Sunday, January 10, 2021 6:20 AM
Joined: 12/16/2011
Posts: 2820

Hey Chris, my heart goes out to you.  When my wife died, I had all this love for her and suddenly I didn't know what to do with it.  It never occurred to me to give it to myself.  Good for you for taking care of yourself first now.  To me, the photograph you posted of Barbara is a picture of someone at peace.  Chris, I wish you peace of mind and peace of heart as you go forward.  Thank you for letting us know.
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2021 10:15 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2339

Chris! I’m sorry to hear about Barbara. Reading that she left prior to Christmas I can imagine she celebrated Christmas in heaven.  

You did a lot and I’m content that you have time for yourself. I just hope you get through this with strength and know that she is very well at her new home. And she’s watching you.  She is not gone. 

Take care Chris.

Posted: Monday, January 11, 2021 10:58 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2366



I'm so sorry about the loss of your lovely wife. You're a wonderful husband now take care of yourself. She is now at home with the Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ. God bless

Posted: Friday, January 15, 2021 1:58 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1323

Deb, Ruth, George, and Lady Z,

Thanks you so much for your kind words. Coming from you all, they are not just kindness, but wisdom, as I know that all of you have been around the block too many times to count.

Bless you , every one, and please know that your writings here in the past were a big part of what kept me going during those times when I had absolutely no idea what was happening.

Every time you write a reply, or post a thought, you become like a rock in a river - a stepping stone helping someone to navigate what seems at times like an impossible journey.

I am happy to say that Barbara and I made it all the way, in our own home most of the time, so that when she breathed her last, it was while we were watching the tv together.

The generals will plot their moves, and money will move around into this project, or that study, but the war will always be won or lost in the trenches, by the ones who get up each day, look at the gray sky, and soldier on.

You are those soldiers. Thank you all !

Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2021 1:57 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2404

Dear Chrisp, I am sorry to hear that she has passed. That's a really beautiful picture of her. I'm happy that you have it. I think it's amazing that she was able to stay home, that's because of you. You are a wonderful person. Take care of you now.