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Feeling Fearful
Posted: Thursday, December 24, 2020 10:50 PM
Joined: 5/11/2017
Posts: 124

I never thought I would have to undress my husband and help him into the shower, after adjusting the water. This might sound strange to some. I am aware that as this disease progress DH would loose the ability to self care. There are parts of this care  that seem to be harder to provide than others. Not physicaly hard but emotionally hard. I seem to be sad as I do them. Helping him into shower is one. I think "how did we get  here?" . We have spent our Christmas Eve alone watching Its A Wonderful life". I am grateful for what we have and are abkle to do. But much fear about the future.  COVID lurking around some corner. The state our country is in now. Even my trusted dog is loosing hwr hearing. I dont want to live in fear. Said my prayers,  Live for Today. And talk to all of you!!!
Posted: Thursday, December 24, 2020 11:28 PM
Joined: 10/24/2019
Posts: 422

I don’t think this is what Dr. Seuss had in mind when he wrote, “Oh, the places you’ll go.”

But to never-anticipated places we go on the AD journey.  Today, I washed my DW’s private parts, dressed her, held her to help her walk down the stairs, fed her by hand, pulled down her pants to help her go to the bathroom....have I missed an ADL?  

It is sad.  It is lonely.  But we, here, understand, and are your brothers and sisters on this path.  We will hold one another up in support, shedding light in the dark places.  

May you find some Christmas cheer.

Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 9:51 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1464

Everything about this disease sucks. I hate it! I hate it for all of us, especially our LO's. It's dehumanizing.
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 10:26 AM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 638

Ditto to everything Jeff posted.  I, too, wonder how we got here.  I am even more amazed to think that DH could ever do anything  for himself; he is so compromised at this point. All the hands on care I provide has become just part of the every day routine.  I think about the future, but I try not to dwell on what awaits us there.  As you said, “Live for today and say your prayers.”  No sense in worrying; it’s time you’ll never get back.  .