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Time to ditch the pants?
May flowers
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 6:24 AM
Joined: 4/9/2021
Posts: 659

 So, my FIL refuses to allow his pants/pull-ups to be pulled down or taken off. I know it’s a privacy issue. We have tried keeping him covered, asking him to do it, talking him through it, putting something in his hands, etc. But he gets a grip on those pants before he even stands, and tries to hold them up the entire time we walk him and even when he’s at the toilet. 

DH is able to ask him to pull down his pants and he will try, then DH will assist and that works. But that doesn’t work when I ask. It is really hard, especially when I am alone trying to help hold him up, pivot him to the toilet and pull his pants down. It’s a battle even with two people. 

I’ve kept pants/shirt on him during the day as a dignity thing but at this point he/we are going to fall. It is a little easier to change him in the bed, but then that means the end of the toilet. He can still have a BM in the toilet so we hate to give that up too.

I’m wondering if it is time to switch to a hospital gown full time. Ugh. Anyone dealt with this and if so, any suggestions?

Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 8:06 AM
Joined: 6/20/2016
Posts: 3203

I'd go with the hospital gown.  Whatever makes things easier for you.
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 8:12 AM
Joined: 4/17/2018
Posts: 779

Mayflowers thanks for sharing. Your such a kind caregiver and the gown sounds like a great idea. Sure sounds like a rough go you've tried all the tricks to keep him distracted,he's just a quick draw. I hope you have better success today and everyday.
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 9:46 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13118

That certainly is a challenge.   It does sound like a modesty thing for him when it comes to having a female trying to get him to pull down his trousers and pull-ups. 

Instead of using a hospital gown, why not use men's nightshirts - like a nightgown, but made for men.  They come in a variety of fabrics and lengths; some are shortsleeve, and others have long sleeve for the winter.   If getting a longer style, then one could have him pull down (or you could pull down) his pull-up, but still give him the feeling that he is not exposed.

One can find them online at a variety of sites; here is a link to Amazon that has different styles, etc.:

Best of luck,


Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 9:56 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20917

Bathrobe or huge extra long Tee shirt for comfort?
May flowers
Posted: Sunday, April 17, 2022 12:55 PM
Joined: 4/9/2021
Posts: 659

A long men’s nightshirt, or long t-shirt is a great idea! He has a robe too. I will buy one to see if it will work - and he doesn’t start pushing it down. He does that with the gowns, holds the front down, but the back is open so it is easy to sit him down. I’m going to look for nightshirts that button in the back!

Thanks all. The wealth of experience and advice here has been so invaluable

Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2022 8:05 PM
Joined: 10/21/2016
Posts: 2798

I would be inclined to tear out the inseam of a pair of his pants and put in velcro or preferably magnets to test if this method would work.  Theoretically, you could open the crotch while he continues to clutch the waistband. 

 For my husband, I used to give him a piece of pool noodle to hold in each hand before we started the process. That would keep his hands busy and if he got angry, it wouldn't hurt me when he hit me with the pool noodle.

Posted: Saturday, April 23, 2022 7:49 PM
Joined: 9/15/2020
Posts: 38

Pool noodle.  Now that's a new one lol.  I'm going to try that with my Mom.  Any diversion helps and like you said, it won't hurt getting wacked in the head or jaw.  Thanks for the tip.  Hugs.
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2022 2:53 PM
Joined: 4/24/2022
Posts: 9

I'd go with the hospital gown too