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Just need to talk to my friends ,(172)
Posted: Saturday, May 21, 2022 7:41 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213


Thought it might be time for 172.

It's been a very cool day for a change.

Hope everyone's aches and pains are better. Seems like I've felt better today.  .  Did dishes and a few other things..  Enjoy your evening.

Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 3:21 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

Good morning

64F, 18C.  Got a little over an inch of rain yesterday evening.  Thankful for that.  They mowed my yard before it rained so that worked out good.  

Got a little work done with my plants too.  Going to try and rest today.  Seems I’m so slow at getting things done. 

Hope each one has a peaceful day.



Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 9:33 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Glad you got some rain, Sara, to help your plants grow.  Supposed to have a lot of rain here the next few days.

It's very cool here this morning.  Drove down to see the babies.  Saw the new baby walking around with mom close by..  Everyone seemed fine.

Jack called- so manycomplaints.

Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 11:47 AM
Joined: 11/3/2012
Posts: 2304

Good morning.  Sunshine and warmer today.  We’ve had snow, sleet and rain, along with terrible wind this past week. The high mountains got up to two feet of snow. I can’t believe we are still in a moderate drought. Luckily nothing froze here.  We had freezing temps for two days.  Crazy weather this spring. 

I’m packing up today to go to my granddaughter’s high school graduation. She’s the one who shows steers.  I’m excited to spend the week with them and enjoy the excitement and chaos.  I always love that.  

Sara, I’m thinking of you dealing with your Mom. That has to be frustrating and difficult on most days.  Glad you haven’t managed to get lost on the hospital roof yet. Lol

Lorita, good you’re feeling better. I got my covid booster last week. No reactions.  My arm was really sore the first night, but was gone by morning.  I wonder if Jack doesn’t have a lot to talk about so is telling you every little thing that isn’t perfect. Hopefully he will settle in and start enjoying himself. It sounds like a nice place, and he really needs to be there.  

Awe, another little calf.  They are so cute and so full of life.  I hope you are enjoying having your house fixed up and the air conditioning working. Now, hope you get your new computer working, and you will be set for summer.  The guy started my swamp cooler, but I haven’t needed it yet.  

Barbra, glad your surgery is behind you and hope you are feeling better.  Seems like the older I get, the more my body wants to break down. Must be normal, but we don’t have to like it. 

Ron, enjoy your company and happy birthday to Lou 

Zetta, did you get bad weather this week?  A lot of our storms come from the northwest. 

Jo, Happy Birthday this week.  Celebrate and have a special day. 

Judith, I love apple crisp but haven’t made it for a very long time. My recipe is from the good ole Betty Crocker cookbook.  I love oatmeal and brown sugar. It is delicious with the apples. 

Beth, your flower gardens are so pretty. They look like an art piece. I keep mine simple so I don’t have so much work.  

I guess I better get my suitcase packed and go gas up the car. Have a good week and enjoy today.  Joan

Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 1:00 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Joan, have fun on your trip - know you will.  Doesn't seem possible your  GD is graduating.

It's cold &cloudy here this morning but will be hot again soon.

Be safe on your trip.

Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 2:25 PM
Joined: 3/25/2015
Posts: 1035

Joan, enjoy your trip and congratulations to your granddaughter! 

Lorita, so glad Zelda found a loving home. She deserves it. 
Joan, I saw that Ken Caryl area of CO had 8" of snow! I do love CO but I do not love snow in May. I live in IA and we get plenty of winter, believe me. It was cool this a.m., just 44 degrees. 

Sara, I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mom. You have helped her a lot, but in some things she likely doesn't want or doesn't feel she needs your help. Does she still drive? 

Barbara, I am sorry you  have been so ill and I hope your recovery from now on will be quick. 

I planted sunflowers yesterday and nasturtiums. I think I've got everything planted now that I plan to. No place for cucumbers this year, sorry to say. 

Judith, apple crisp sounds good. I eat apples (raw) almost every day. Yesterday I made a rhubarb dessert. Boy, was it ever good. 

Enjoy your weekend everyone!


Posted: Sunday, May 22, 2022 7:09 PM
Joined: 12/11/2018
Posts: 1093

Hoping everyone is having a good weekend. I did not catch up on everything happening on the porch the last couple of weeks, but it sounds like so many interesting updates as always.

Happy to say the weekend has been great. Not perfect, but good more than not. After a very challenging week, so I am thankful for that! Yesterday was a sit and watch movies between naps, with DH. (After a very exhausting Friday. Will post about it soon. Involves firefighters and as usual they were amazingly helpful, just in time.) Today, I cut the grass, the shrubs, and the outdoor extension cord lol. That last one wasn't planned, but oh well. At least I was done.

Sayra - you mentioned feeling slow, but I see you accomplishing so much and it seems to be at a sustainable pace. It is one thing I admire about you. When I fill my plate so full and then seem to be running to catch up with myself, nothing works well at all. Sometimes taking a break from the rat race is just what the Dr. ordered. I really need to schedule in some "down time". Your volunteer role seems really fulfilling. Nice to contribute part time. Thanks for the morning greeting for all of us. It did start my day off very peacefully. I appreciate that!

Lorita - I hope your computer gets up and running soon. Congrats on another new baby! The last I read, you were going to grab a sledge hammer and try to fix whatever is sharp out in the yard. I said to myself, I should stop complaining about my aches and can't-do's, and be more like Lorita (and Nike...just do it!). Also, I saw the ducks cross the street in Memphis, going to breakfast at the Peabody Hotel. Traffic stops at a certain time for that tradition. (Maybe still?)

Storycrafter - Loved your "May" poem. Made me smile. So true! Whatever happened to May just "bringing May flowers...?) 

BethL- Your garden made me smile too. Beautiful! It looks like something out of the garden shows...Make my Garden Perfect, which we have been watching on Hulu sometimes.

Jmlarue - I appreciate all the vicarious joys you all are sharing, since life is on lockdown for the most part at my house, with DH not wanting to go out (together anyway). Or not wanting to come back when I have been able to get him into the car a few times recently. Yikes! So, your island home sounds delightful. I had snowbird dreams at one point too, but we will have to see.

Rescue - Dustbunnies sound so cute, but I sneeze my head off with allergies from flowers which I love, and dust which of course I don't. I need to dust! I had hoped to get help with that in DH's space at least, but am masking up and doing it when he is in a different room since HHA's are either scarce or confirmed but awol, sigh.

Day - Congratulations! belatedly, on your promotion and brand new schedule. Sounds like your plans came through as you wanted. I'm so happy that is the case. I think I need to seek remote work since CG help seems unpredictable and I can't commit to being onsite on time, for sure.

Zetta - Glad you are feeling less tired. I have been, but half of it is mental exhaustion I think.

Barbara - Joining the chorus wishing you full recovery quickly. I admire you for courage to take care of yourself and especially am thinking what would I do if I needed surgery in the eyelid area. I'm a total chicken in that regard!

Telinde - All 4 seasons in one week - kind of amazing. Has your weather always been that way? And congrats on your HS grad grand! I hope your week together with family is terrific.

Jo C and Ron (Lou) - Happy Birthday week, and I hope it is full of enjoyable moments for you and your LOs! Jo you give so much to our forum mates every day and Ron, your care of your DW is an inspiration. Makes me keep my chin up when things get a little rocky here with DH.

Jfkoc - apple crisp. I really love it Your power of suggestion got me. So, since I was out of apples, flour, and sugar (yes...) I found a box of brownie mix in the cabinet and a bag of walnuts. DH and I just had brownies for dessert. I got my exercise in, doing yardwork so no guilty conscience here.

Wishing everyone a peaceful rest of the weekend and a very nice week to come. 

Posted: Monday, May 23, 2022 2:56 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

Good morning

So nice to hear from everyone.

50F, 10 C.  Was a cold dark day yesterday.  Had one pound of stew meat left so fixed that and froze a lot of it.  Will make a quick and easy supper after work.

Happy Birthday JoC.

Lorita hope you are able to get a computer up an working soon.  

Beth my mom has never driven.  That is one area I won’t have to deal with.  Doesn’t it feel good when everything  get planted?  I have a way to go yet.  It seems to be hot or cold and a lot of strong wind.  Wind is so hard on new plants.

Joan hope you have a nice trip and get to enjoy the time with your family.

Take care everyone

Posted: Monday, May 23, 2022 8:50 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Happy Birthday. Jo!!  Ice cream and caKe later today on the porch.

Took down trash, then stopped by lot and broke off a lot of poke stalks.  Hate those.  Drove up and saw new baby.  Toad fed and Penny left baby It down while she ate,  ttthen hurried back to him.

Posted: Monday, May 23, 2022 10:45 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20915

 Now it's a craving!

  • 4medium tart cooking apples, sliced (4 cups)
  • 3/4cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/2cup Gold Medal™ all-purpose flour
  • 1/2cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats
  • 1/3cup butter, softened
  • 3/4teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 3/4teaspoon ground nutmeg
Brownies...Ok, you all know I barely cook and I do not bake so here is the recipe for really good brownies. Gheradille (sp) brownie mix but replace liquid with strong coffee.

Had Cox out Thursday. They had to come back Saturday and redo everything done which had left us with no TV or land line. Took hhim 2 hours to screw everything up and only 15 minutes to straighten it out. 

Raining again. Things could not be any greener. This has to be the wettest spring ever.

Posted: Monday, May 23, 2022 11:36 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Judith, glad you got things fixed. Hate when  things get out of order.

Thanks for the recipe- sounds  so good. Maybe I'll try it since I have apples.

Kats from the shelter called yesterday. The couple who adopted Zelda drove from Lincoln, Neb. To get her. Fell in love with her when they saw her picture on Boxer Rescue.  They have a Boxer who is four and goes everywhere with them so Zelda will, too and she'll have a companion.  Good outcome all around.

I think I finally have this tablet set up. Called our phone company and got Andrew in Texas who helped me.  Everything is so complicated no wonder I don't like change.

Raining here and pretty chilly.

Posted: Monday, May 23, 2022 9:23 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Jo, hope your birthday was a good one. 

When do the avocado trees bloom and what do the blooms look like?  I bought one the other day and it was $3.50 or more but it's a good one.  Have any of you ever tried the frozen ones?  I know the store where I shop doesn't have them.

Been a very quiet, lazy day.  Also very cool and cloudy until the sun came out for a few minutes late in the day.  Supposed to be rainy tomorrow and Wednesday.

Been trying to decide on a case for the new tablet - too many options.  I think I'll like it when I get used to it.

Dry eyes are really bothering me even with the humidifier.  I had the LR ceiling fan on two or three days and shouldn't have. With it on and your eyes closed the air still gets in.

I have four frozen pie crusts,- why I don't know.  Trying to figure out how to cut them so I can make smaller pies with pie filling like fried pies but baked.  Any ideas?

Not sure I can stay awake for Barney Miller st 11- wish he was on earlier.  Need to get the TV in the bedroom hooked up the right way so I can watch it.

Judith, did you get your Caladiums planted?  I'm going to wait until after the rain.

I'll stop for now - hope all of you and your fur babies are all right.  Mine are all asleep.  The new baby is really a cutie.  There's five little, bitty ones but old enough to be away from their moms for a little while,,- except the new one.

Sleep well.  See you tomorrow.

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 3:44 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

Good morning

46F, 8C.  Giving a sunny day.  Hope I can get a little more done after I get off work.  

Yesterday was cool.  Got a little more mulch yesterday and got about half of it put down.  Going to start planting everything out now.  Still giving some cool nights but at some point things need in the ground.

Lorita so glad you got your tablet up.

Have never tried frozen avocado.  Think I would just cut the pie crust in half , think I have done that before.  Also have a small pie plate.  Put my crust in it, cut off the outer excess then make. Lattice top with what I cut off.

Cannot tolerate ceiling fans due to it drying my eyes.  When using  a regular fan aim it at my feet.  Find that very cooling and doesn’t dry my eyes.

Guess I had better get moving.

Take care everyone 

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 7:57 AM
Joined: 3/25/2015
Posts: 1035

Lorita, I have dry eyes too. I used to use Restasis but when my insurance changed it became too expensive. Now I use Systane Balance. Systane Complete is good too and for me, easier to locate.  So glad you got your new tablet working! I've missed your newsy posts.

Chilly and cool past couple of days. Rain expected tonight. Everything is so green. Looks beautiful. 

Hope all are well. Take care.


Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 8:48 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213


Rainy morning.  Had half an inch during night so things are muddy again.  Much more expected this afternoon.

Went out and gave Tom his medicine in a little canned food.  Didn't eat quite all of it but guess he will.  He seems okay no sneezing or coughing.  I looked for Penny and baby, then saw two moms and babies coming up one was Penny.  Baby was hanging back so she'd stop and look back bat him and he'd catch up.  They are so cute.

Sara, glad you're going to get your seeds planted.  Then you can set back and watch them grow.  Fascinating that one little seed can make a plant that has fruits or vegetables on it.  Still need to get my bulbs planted.  The  Gerbera daisies didn't come up this year.

Beth and Sara, it's amazing that so many people have dry eyes.  I read the older you get the worse it is.  I tried wearing contacts when I was in my twenties but even then didn't have enough tears.  Thanks, Beth for the tip on Systane.  I had a box of individual vials of Systane and it helped.  I usually use Refresh and GenTeal eye gel at night.

Weatherman just said some areas west of us have had up to 6" of rain - that in areas that flooded a couple of weeks ago.

Thanks, Sara, for the idea about pies.  Daddy used to make fried pies from biscuits.  He'd roll a biscuit out, put in filling, close it up and fry it.  I was never very good at it.  I need to make Judith's apple crisp first.

I'll stop for now. Glad the tablet is working. Spent some time yesterday trying to decide on a cover- got a voucher for one with the tablet.

Enjoy your day.  Sandy, last night there was a news story that reminded me of you.  A bear was fooling with a bird feeder near a house, then broke through a nearby window and got into the house so be careful of those bears.  Talk with you soon.

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 10:43 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20915

you got a new computer and a new tablet????

my bulb are still in the box ...someone moved the box and now the bottom is wet...they need to get into a dry situation and I too will wait for the soil to dry out.

rain, rain, is like a jungle out there

has everyone checked their Jif ? Ours was bad.

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 11:40 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Judith, the tablet is a 10" Amazon Fire, similar to mg old one.  I bought the laptop some months ago not yet set up and don't feel like getting it done right now.

II's raining off and on here.  It's so green, the air seems green.  It all pretty chilly, too.  But I prefer this to hot weather.

Are you going to soak your bulbs for a couple of hours before you plant them?  Ground will probably be wet enough.

Did you get your second booster?  Seems like you did.  I'll get mine next week.

How's Winda? Tell her hi for me.


Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 1:16 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Judith, hope you hadn't eaten any of the peanut butter.  I use store brands and Natural so didn't have to worry this time.

If you all want to see something sweet watch the YouTube video of someone returning a baby sloth to its mother.  Must have fallen out of the tree.

Now there's water collecting under the crispers in the refrigerator- really getting tired of things going wrong.

And now we have Monkey pox!!

Still raining.

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 1:33 PM
Joined: 10/12/2014
Posts: 1098

Jo., happy birthday a day late! I hope your day was a calm relaxing one. Not sure yet what we will do for Lou's birthday; except for eating out.

Family has all left now and once again it's just Lou and I. I look forward to family and am excited when they arrive, than when they leave I'm glad to have things back to normal, after a couple of days I'll wish they were back. 

Speaking of the second booster shot; I thought I would get mine last week but the nurse said since I had the harmone shot that day to wait until the middle of June when I see my primary care. Rain was supposed to be heavy all day but now they are saying its tonight before it moves in.

The big family reunion in Florida this September is still being planned. They found a beach front property with seven rooms available that CV each family could rent for either 3 days are a week. Major setback for Lou and I is no pets allowed. Littlebit will be over 17 years old and has never been left with anyone and I will not start leaving him now. I wouldn't even go but I was part of the main reason they started the planning with my Birthday being three generations sharing the same date; my niece in Florida, her son and myself was all born the 24th of September.  When I was in Vietnam they sent me a picture of my niece celebrating her first Birthday and holding my picture. 

I'm a windbag today and haven't given anyone on the front porch time to talk so I'll shut up for now.

Stay safe everyone!


Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 2:55 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Ron, nice that you enjoyed the visit.   One.of our neighbors who is now deceased once told me that she enjoyed n her kids visiting but was always glad to see their taillights disappear around the corner.  Same with us but we always missed them.

Don't blame you for not wanting to leave Little Bit.  At his age he would not understand why.  But a shame to not go and celebrate birthdays together.

I guess the rain we're having today is what you'll get tomorrow.  For so long western Oklahoma hasn't had rain and now that the wheat is ready to harvest they're getting rain.  Worst time for rain.  But we take what we get.

Hope you and Lou are all right.  Good to see your post.

Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 4:21 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13118

Hello everyone and thank you very much for your Happy Birthday wishes.   It was a quiet day which is golden.  I spent a lot of time getting birthday phone calls and emails with special online wishes, some very funny, and it was all delightful.    I did not want a birthday cake, it is just my DH and me, so he got some cheesecake . . . I haven't had that in a year or two.  It was SO good.  I mean; really, really good and I nearly licked the graham cracker crumbs off the plate!  I am low maintenance and easily pleased, so that was perfect.  Another year older . . . it makes me giggle; I am now a white haired old broad but inside I feel no different than I did at 40.  Go figure; the outside is, well . . . . it just is; you all know what I mean.  Gravity be dratted!

Dear gentleman Ron, Lou has a birthday on the 28th as I recall.  Lovely that family came to visit, I know what you mean Ron.  Lovely planning and preparing for the visit and SO happy to have them all . . . for me, it was usually a full family with multiple grands for two to three weeks AND the rest of the extended family arriving at intervals.  And like you, when they did leave, it was both my DH and myself collapsing on the sofa in the family room and staying there for two days to recoup; boy were we tired.  But, then we missed them all over again.  Sure wish they lived closer, but out of state is out of state.  And now, all grands are grown and scattered about - of course, all out of state.  Ah well, that is life.  I can well understand your not wanting to leave Littlebit at 17 years old; I would be in the same predicament.  That is very elderly for a little doggie and she has not been without you; it is quite traumatic for them and it is very loving of you to understand that and keep her safe.

 Joan, have a wonderful time on your trip - hope it is an absolute joy for you and knowing you I am sure it will be.  You are a wonderful grandmother; the family is blessed to have you.

 No Lorita, I would never eat a frozen avocado and they do not do well with freezing; if you Google "does freezing affect avocados," you will find a lot of input and some photos.  Buying commercially frozen avocado does nothing for them - the commercial products have additives and they do not taste anything like an avocado.  I have tried many and my input is, "ick." The freezing actually changes the texture and nothing much good comes of it.  Also, the commercially processed stuff is not as healthy and can affect the good stuff in the fruit.  I stick to the fresh avocados; they ripen off the tree.  We buy them year round, being in California, it is far easier to get good avocados I would imagine than it is further  into the states.  Like peaches, we do not get the good tree ripened southern peaches out here . . . sure wish we did.

 As for what avocado trees look like when blooming:  here is a link -

If planting an avocado tree do use Google and look up pollination and cross pollination for avocado trees or, "how to get my avocado tree to produce fruit."  It is not an overnight process, it takes a looooong time to get a successful tree.  Love those avocados and they are very healthy for us. 

So; Judith, did the Neurologist know what is causing the neuropathy and was he/she able to prescribe something to help?  I am so sorry that you are having to experience that, it is a heavier burden than most people understand.   Our son whose neuropathy was caused by an abrupt onset of AncaVasculitis was prescribed several meds to help his vessels - he was on Lyrica, Pregabalin, and Gabapentin.  It took time before he could begin tapering the meds off and they were the only thing initially causing relief from the intense pain; then the intense numbness and lack of feeling and disability. He is now off all meds and back to normal - it was a long haul and he was awesome in how he worked hard at it.   He has been back working full time for quite awhile, and pushes himself for his health with exercise and healthy foods - far better at it all than his Mom; he is of course a lot younger than his Mom.  That return to function because of vasculitis may well be different from other causes of neuropathy; each causative factor will have its own treatment approach and it does take a good Neurologist that specializes in such treatment within his/her practice, so it is really good you have sought that out.

I received an email a couple of weeks ago and forgot to mention it.  Some of you may recall, Mimi, a Peer Volunteer; she was awesome.  Mimi has passed away and she was a woman of much strength and great experience in her life.  It was very sad to learn about her passing, she was lovely in many ways.

What did the vet say was wrong with the cat, Tom, Lorita?  Poor wee thing, and he now trusts you which is really something after all the time he spent avoiding humans.  Sorry to hear Jack is having negatives - he is now past the initial "honeymoon" period of being relieved of near starvation and lack of care and sees things in a different light.   Sure hopes he does not have negative feelings about selling his house.  Perhaps he will begin to settle down a little bit now that he is settled in at the ALF.   You have done all you can do and thensome. 

Geeze, this is turning into another novel, time for me to get going and let someone else have some space.  Ron; you are never too long in your Posts and we really enjoy hearing from you.  We shall meet again on the Front Porch to exchange more thoughts, recipes, and those bits and pieces we usually do.


Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 7:47 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213

Jo, glad your birthday was good.  Funny that we grow older physically but hopefully stay mentally younger if we're lucky.  I don't feel almost 80 until I sit too long or try to do something I used to do easily.  Today I've sat too much watching TV, listening to the rain and dozing.

Thank you so much for the link about avocados. It was very interesting.  The blooms remind me of something I've seen but not an avocado bloom.  Never saw one of those trees.  I think I have mentioned that many years ago Charles and I started an avocado tree from a seed.  It grew to be about 5' tall with two branches that looked like it had arms.  We put it outside in the summer and brought it inside in the winter - until we didn't one year.

Went out to the barn to see if the girls were all right and most of them were still in there out of the rain.  It's stopped now so they're probably out grazing.

I called Jack today to tell him about Zelda and he was happy to hear it.  He says he misses her and thinks of her a lot.  What good company she would have been to him when he was still home.

He's settling in somewhat. He goes for his meals, cones back to his apartment and takes naps.  At least he's safe.

I've found a new game show that I enjoy --America Says.  I'm not smart enough to play some of them,- like Jeopardy- can't think of the answers fast enough.

Hope you all have a nice evening and sleep well.

Posted: Tuesday, May 24, 2022 9:27 PM
Joined: 6/20/2016
Posts: 3203

I'm so happy that Zelda has found a forever home.  

I'm enjoying the new role and it's definitely different - about half email and half phone, all problem-solving.

Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 6:13 AM
Joined: 9/15/2015
Posts: 6

How do other caregivers cope with lack of companionship and NO intimacy?  I am not a young male but I do miss true companionship and physical intimacy. Like I read the person that once was is no more. The jibberish word salad is worse than ever. No conversation No intimacy is really straining my feelings and yes my longing for intimacy.  I find myself wanting the end to come but worrying that I’m not doing enough.
Jo C.
Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 7:19 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13118

Hello Joe; I see by your Profile that in 2015 you were married for 50 years, so today that would be a marriage of 57 years.  I also see that your wife was diagnosed in 2015 and already had problems prior to the formal diagnosis, so that is quite a bit of time with at least seven years of dementia progession.   I am very sorry for what is happening and can understand the deep feelings of loss you are experiencing, it can be a deeply lonely place to find oneself.  There is a lot of ongoing grief of loss and feelings of emptiness with an ongoing long dementia experience. 

Many Members have shared their feelings of grief and loss and deep loneliness; some of them, while loving their spouse, have permitted themselves to go outside their home to establish new friendships and even personal relationships.  Others have adapted to their situations and make connections through old friends, church, or other small groups which helps them to balance their life in a small way.

It sounds as though your wife may be being cared for at home?  I do not know if you have assistance or not, but as dementia progresses, the intimacy whether physical and/or of ability to communicate and share becomes significantly compromised; and that is a difficult place to be.

I do wonder if you have or can afford help in the home.  This may lead to your being able to get a bit of time to establish communications/connections and perhaps can get you out to different social groups that perhaps you may have an interest in such as a hiking group; a book reading group; a church group; going out for coffee or to eat groups, etc., you get the idea.  Being able to establish some social contacts may begin to "unthaw" the frozen dynamics you have been experiencing and making friends can open up the conversations and actually begin to establish becoming closer to some people for those personal conversations that has been lacking.

If you have old friends or close relatives that have slipped into the background; that too can be someting to re-establish to make that personal connection.  If it is a more or less close sort of romantic connection you are missing, that would be a different sort of dynamic.  We have one Member here who has made honest connections on a dating site and has established open communications with women who understand his plight and are openly communicating with him.    Other Members permit themselves to go out to dinner with a person other than their spouse and some have established closer relationships with another who understands the dynamics.

It can also be helpful as some Members have shared, to get some counseling to help one through the rough terrain and re-establish themselves and begin to find a way to meet their needs again.  It can be very comforting and give a good framework from which to begin to move forward for oneself.

I would also suggest putting this important Post on the open Spousal/Partner Forum where it will not be lost in a social Thread such as this one; you will get much more input from other spouses that way and you deserve to be heard.

You are important in all of what is happening too; I so hope you do not feel guilty for having a need to begin to reach out beyond where you are now caught in a sort of limbo - it is good that you are beginning to reach out for some experiential input and I send warmest thoughts your way. Let us know how you are doing, we will be thinking of you and we truly do care.


Jo C.
Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 7:53 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13118

Good morning Front Porch friends; I was going through some Yahoo information this morning after I logged off my email site, and found the following regarding how incorrectly cooking kidney beans can cause them to be toxic and make one very ill.  Some have mentioned using a slow cooker when cooking beans and evidently this cannot be safely done with kidney beans.

I have never cooked kidney beans from scratch so little did I know that how one chooses to cook them can cause them to be toxic.  Some of you will know this, others may not, so here is a link on how to cook kidney beans so they are not toxic:

Geeze, if it isn't one thing . . .


Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 10:42 AM
Joined: 6/14/2021
Posts: 560

I am heart broken over the shooting at the elementary school in Texas...those poor little children and their selfless teachers who tried to protect them.

I have great grand children in elementary school here in Virginia.  Their doors are always locked.  Outsiders can only access one door, and that is after showing ID to camera and stating business need to enter.  I am so grateful for their safety rules.  

It is impossible to understand why any person would want to kill these little ones.

May God watch over these newest angels.

Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 11:16 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

I’m a little behind today.

Marie my heart is saddened too again. 

Lorita sorry your gerbera  daisies haven’t come up.  

My aunt made fried pies with biscuit dough.

My zinnia seeds have already popped up.  Ground must be fairly warm. I planted basil and fennel seed direct too.  Have not done them before.  Be interesting to see what happens.

Yes Jack and Zelda both are much better off even if he complains.  He knows his next meal will be there.  Realize though it’s hard losing your personal freedom.  

Take care everyone.

Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 11:16 AM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213


I agree, Marie, it's so hard to understand why someone would or could do something like  that.  Their mind is just not right.  I don't know what this world is coming to.  Almost to the point that you don't feel safe getting out of your house.

Sara,, where are you this morning?  I look forward to your early morning posts.  Are you enjoying your volunteer work and being back into a hospital setting?

Another rainy morning.  It began just before I went out to feed to from.  While I was out Toad came to feed the girls.  So guess he's feeling better.  Before he cane I noticed the girls heading to the feeding area so they knew what day it is.

Really didn't want to get up so stayed in bed until 7:10, then I was still  reluctant.  GPs stayed in, went out and are back in asleep.

Still not feeling on top of the world - feel like I have a bug.  Not sure I should take the booster when I don't feel too well.

Zetta, hope things are well with you.  Are Molly and Sammy enjoying the cool weather? You did have snow, didn't you?

I'm using the new tablet and it sometimes changes words so if you all see a weird word,  please disregard it.  It just changed Zetta to Extra and Sara to Data.

Haven't heard from Sarah in a couple of days.  She wants to have the surgery but Todd is not sure she should. Her quality of life is so poor now that she just wants to have the surgery and hope for a good outcome.  I think I agree with her.  Such a hard decision.  Life can be so hard - we all know that!

I'll stop and be back later.

Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 3:51 PM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

Lorita I went over to my mom’s early.  Took her groceries, put out the rest of her lobelia, weeded and trimmed on bed around house.  I’m so busy right now.  Got a few more things planted at my house too.

I do like being back in hospital setting.  This time of year is always busy for me.  Work tomorrow.

Jo C.
Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 3:52 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13118

I am sorry you are feeling badly, Lorita.  When can you get those labs done?  This has been going on for a quite awhile, it would be best to get that done.  If you had a lab slip ordering the tests, it may possibly be beyond date of use, so you may want to check that should you need the doctor's office to call in a new order for labs.   As already mentioned, since you have had multiple tic bites, it would also be good to let the doctor know in case he would want some additional labs to be done; doesn't have to be Lyme Disease, those little tics can carry other nasties.

As for getting the booster while feeling a bit wan, it would be best to call the doctor's office and get his direction on that.  Better safe from a medical source rather than guessing or missing the booster if you can still get it. 

I am of course, not a doctor, but I do hope amongst the labs he is checking a complete metabolic panel,  CBC with differential, Thyroid, Sed Rate, and a UA with culture amongst whatever else he feels is warranted.    Best to get the full lab ranges to eliminate any hidden issues that can easily be taken care of.  One of the things; being a vegetarian, is the possibility of being a bit anemic, so that can be ruled out.   In any case,  so hope you are feeling better soon; I think it has been going on possibly a couple of months since there was a lab order and you have been feeling "off" for some time.

As Marie has mentioned, the dreadful Texas shootings are beyond any ability to use words to express the horror of it all with those sweet little ones and the two dear teachers; and oh, their poor parents and families.   Last night, for some reason, I fell asleep about ten, then woke up again at 11:00 and never went back to sleep.  I have not been fixated on what happened, but I think it was on my mind.   Having four children and our seven grands; I can only imagine the devastation this has caused the survivors and families. 

Poor Sarah, another surgery - she has had so many; I am sorry she is in that predicament again.  So hope she gets relief if she does move forward for another surgery.  

We are in the 80's today and a bit sticky feeling - the AC has just come on.  When we really feel the heat is at night as we are in a two story house.  Edison has already warned everyone on TV that they are planning outages during the summer heat, so that is not a good thing to have happening.  I never thought of it, but the electric cars will have issues with outages and the utility people have mentioned that the increase in electric cars add another pull on the electric grid output.   What?  If we do not have the ability to charge those things without big issues, perhaps we had best get that addressed very quickly.

Gosh, three of my friends have sold their houses and are now living in apartments and rent is not cheap.  Two are in different parts of Texas, and one is in California.  They are seniors and these are not senior apartments; two friends are single, one widowed, another divorced and one is married.  They did not want to hassle with a house any longer, so they simply decided to cash it in so to speak.  Wow; that is a different sort of approach to the aging issues and all that brings.  However, they have no upkeep and maintenance any longer, so they are relieved of that. 

 So hope Barbara, our Australian friend is doing well and recuperating fast from her surgery complications.  What a not happy last couple of years she has had.  Time for only happy and good things to happen.  Glad she does drop in to let us know how she is doing.

 Am going to get some lunch and then get some laundry folding done.  Warmest thoughts going out to everyone,


Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 4:49 PM
Joined: 2/25/2017
Posts: 286

My husband was called to go to Texas the day after the shootings (FBI) Can't even be safe at school anymore. Scary.

Husband is trying to talk my daughter into homeschooling our grandson. He asked me 1st, I said "h*ll NO!


Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 5:54 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 14213


Sara, I love Lobelia.  Used to always have a hanging basket of it.  I love blue flowers.  Sounds like you got a lot of things done. Glad you're enjoying volunteering.

Nicole, we didn't  have kids but I don't think I would have homeschooled either.  Carol's daughter taught her four kids at home. I think it would be hard.

Jo, my lab appt. is this Friday morning.  I will mention the tick bites and always like to get CK and CRP tests, too.  Seems like I was told they're the same thing- not sure. I also will ask him about the booster.  Most likely won't be around people so may wait til I feel better.  I think I need to get outside more.  With all that has gone on this year should probably take the Celexa my doctor prescribed - at least  try them.  Also beginning to wonder about recurrence of EBV.

It's been rainy , cloudy and cool today.  New record low high temp - 63.  

Jo, if your power goes out, how long is it off?  Hope that doesn't happen often.

Went to the mailbox a while ago.  All the girls are bedded down in the far NW corner of the pasture- across the road from Darwin's girls.  The moms had all the little babies laying down together - just a big, happy family.

Laid on my side too much last night so costo is bothering me today.  Always something!

Jack called- said he was getting  cabin fever.  He eats what he wants of his meals, then goes back to his apartment and naps.  He says no one sits out in the lobby where the big TV is.  He's wanting to go to WM again so probably get that guy to take him.  He calls him his buddy.

I'm getting hungry so will stop and eat a bite.

Ron and Sarah do you all know what "blue John" milk is?  Was thinking about that this afternoon when I was drinking some whole milk.  Tasted a bit like blue john.

Sleep well.

Posted: Wednesday, May 25, 2022 6:41 PM
Joined: 12/12/2020
Posts: 380

Happy Hump Day everyone. 

This is the first time in several days I've had time to drop by for a chin wag. House has been a bit chaotic with contractors finishing up my kitchen remodel. I'm amazed how wonderful everything has come together in spite of my utter lack of interior decoration skills. It wasn't a tear-out down to the studs like the last time I remodeled 15 years ago, but still fairly extensive. Pergo plank floor, granite countertops, granite sink with one of those very tall pull-down faucets for filling big pots, new under and above cabinet lighting. All new stainless appliances. It's a sleek, modern look in shades of gray and silver. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I am delighted with the change. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

As some of you may know, I'm still caring for my DH with vascular dementia. The disruption of the familiar (and with strangers constantly in and out) my DH has been upset at times. As much as I would like to do more projects, I'll need to hold off for his sake. I'm sure we'll both benefit by letting a little peace return to the home-front.

I'm wrestling with a dilemma over our pet situation. We have two dogs - a Boston Terrier and a Chinese Pug. Both were rescues that can came to us a few years apart before DH was diagnosed with dementia. They can be both a blessing and a source of high anxiety now. DH considers the Boston Terrier as HIS dog. He is the real problem child and I'm actually considering rehoming him. He is an escape artist and a runner. We've had folks find him miles away from home on dozens of occasions. He's led a charmed life not being hit by a car - so far. The police are on a first name basis with this little repeat offender. The issue is, as my DH's dementia has progressed, he no longer remembers to close doors or close gates to prevent these escapes. This dog has been on the run every other day for the past week and I'm just about at my wits end with both man and dog. Interested in some feedback. Have any of you dealt with the death or disappearance of a family pet during your LO's dementia decline? Was it terribly traumatic or did they soon forget about the loss? I think I'd rather re-home the dog and make up a fiblet, rather than my DH possibly seeing his dog killed by a car. What are your thoughts?

All the talk of fried pies has me licking my chops. I'd like to give it a try. Tell me - do you roll out the biscuit dough very thin. And, are they better with fruit pie filling or jams/preserves?

Thanks for any tips you may have on the pet question and the fried pies. I'll check back in tomorrow. Have a peaceful rest of your day.

Posted: Thursday, May 26, 2022 3:23 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 3758

Good morning

67F, 19C.

Jmlarue kitchen sounds beautiful.  You would roll the biscuit dough about the thickness of a pie crust.

Lorita think I have heard of Blue John milk a long time ago, possibly from my grandpa.  Can’t remember for sure.  Is it skim milk?

I would have to home school if I had children.  Several Of my cousins home schooled their children.  It is a lot of work when done well.  Their children went on to higher education and did well.  They were connected with other home schoolers and did activities together.

Take care everyone