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Ground zero
limaccoll
Posted: Thursday, August 4, 2022 12:48 PM
Joined: 7/28/2022
Posts: 1


My mom is in an assisted living memory unit 30 miles from me so I am able to get there pretty easily but it seems like there’s so much I need to do!!! 

Mom’s sisters are somewhat helpful but live 300+ miles from us. My youngest aunt is poa financial and medical but again I am the one doing every locally 

Last week I sent an email talking about how mom is doing and my concerns and stuff and none of my aunts answered. I felt angry and alone! I told the poa aunt that I needed to hear from at least acknowledge that I sent it. Even when I talk to them they are so unemotional. I know that is how they were raised and how they cope, but I need to have my feelings validated and most of the time I feel like I should not even go there. 

It is just really hard but I am starting to find help from organizations locally and support groups. So I have hope but I think the family should be more helpful as they can from afar 

Sorry for all the gripes 


SusanB-dil
Posted: Thursday, August 4, 2022 1:01 PM
Joined: 9/10/2021
Posts: 426


Hi limaccoll - Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason...

It is ok to gripe.  And yes, they could at least answer an e-mail and validate your feelings. You are very much involved, as after all, it is your mom.  If your aunts have been this way for a long time, is it possible they were never close with you, so they don't realize they are hurting you?

Good that you have the support groups.


May flowers
Posted: Thursday, August 4, 2022 1:15 PM
Joined: 4/9/2021
Posts: 716


Vent away! Your situation is upsetting for sure, especially the lack of support.

In a perfect world the person that is overseeing the care the most should also be POA because they see what is happening on a regular basis and can better make decisions regarding care.

Many of us on this board understand how hard it is to feel alone in dealing with our LOs and the care often falls on one person. For us, my BIL says let them know if they can do anything. Well, we have, but nothing ever really comes of it. It’s been 5 years.