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husband and I can't stop arguing
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: Kristina

Both my grandparents were placed in a care facility. It was the hardest thing to watch. My grandparents had been married for over 50 years. The day my grandmother went into the nursing home, she was much happier. She knew our names for the first time and had people there she could talk to. It also gave my aunt and my parents much needed peace. It is very sad I know to let go and say ok, I need help. Sometimes, since we are all human, we just can't do it anymore. All I can say is PRAY and trust that God will help you. Also you need to forgive yourself.
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: ZOEY M

Hi Pamela, you are not alone.....same story here, I also have a shoulder for you....
and HAPPY 2007, Friend Roll Eyes

ZOEY M

CHERUBCT@VERIZON.NET
Internal Administrator
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: PamelaReneeH

ConfusedIt seems no matter what I say I'm wrong
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: jaylene

I know how you feel, but there are better days if you look for them. I am going through the same thing as you. Today seems to be a good day for my husband so far, but you never know when it will turn bad. About all you can do is assure him of your love and stand by him. I know at times it is hard to do, just remember you aren't the only one going through this. I have a big shoulder for crying and I'll truly try to understand you situation. Just don't give up on him. Remember all the love you two have shared. He is still there and so is his love even when he can't show it.
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: erlyonstdghtr

Pam, I am witnessing the same thing between my parents (mother has ALZ, dad is bad at expressing emotions). My mom will latch onto random thoughts or occurances and somehow manage NOT to forget them and continually brings them up, causing repeated fights. I am often who she comes to afterwards and always asks me what she did wrong. I have found the most effective way to quench and avoid conflict is to take the higher road and make a real effort to bypass it. It does take some swallowing of pride sometimes but I consider it worth it for the fight that is avoided! I try to convince my mom that she is right and he is just being difficult and that the only way to solve it is to stop talking about it. Sometimes it takes several of these convos but eventually I can convince her to let whatever it was go.
E
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: Skinny CC

My husband has told me for years my mother is only going to get worse. I always promised mom I would never place her in a nursing home. Although my mom lives in a very nice fee simple townhome with handicap facilities, she can still walk, still likes to go get her hair done and remembers me, caregivers still freak out if she has a little bout with wants to go find her mom who has been dead for years. Seems like I could find someone else with a mom or dad with alzheimers who would like to share the cost of sitters. I just don't trust nursing homes, but my husband says not putting her in care facility is destroying me.
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: Vicki B

Pam, I dont get it. Did you loose part of your post are you wanting to know what to do?
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: Dolores

I so understand what you are going through. My husband had become unbearable to live with. The disease magnified his worst personality traits. Our Dr put him on Risperdal. It is an anti-phycotic drug. He takes it in the morning and again about 2PM. If we forget a pill, I can tell the difference in as little as an hour.We can now co-exist in peace. Talk to your Dr.

Dolores
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 9:24 AM
Originally posted by: Bev&Brooke

You know, I may have agreed with you on the nursing home thing a couple of weeks ago. I have never wanted to place my mother. But I'm in a motel room tonight because I can't stand being in her company, with the fear of the unknown...what she is going to do next. How many times have I heard, "Take care of yourself, Beverly." Well...I'm hitting a bottom. Sometimes when we do that, we begin to internalize what others have said to help us. I am in your corner, knowing the pain you are enduring. I hope that you, too, can get some relief. You deserve it. And so does your husband. This is without a doubt a family illness. Smiler
 
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