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Personal Care That Worked for Me and Maybe will work for you
Internal Administrator
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: Liz P

Hello:

Below is one of many examples I do to help my mom with her personal care that I would like to share with you, in hopes that it may be of some help:

I always wait until my mom is in a very good spirits (I never pressure or rush her, because this will trigger her mood to change due to her illness) and have her help me along the way and will explain each step…Then I give her a lot of praise and “hugs” for each task completed and Thank her for helping me help her during her personal care and she always smiles and says “Thank you, too”…I always make sure she has plenty of “TLC” during this process and afterwards.

For Example:

1) Sponged bath with a “warm” wash cloth with (Dove Body Wash) her body (arms, back, front/chest, legs). (Please note, when I get to the back and chest I always tell her "with Permission” and when she allows me the permission and I proceed to clean her back and chest (if not, I immediately tell her “that’s all right, maybe next time”). Please note, sometimes I would clean one half of her body and then return the next day to clean the other half (or wait a few minutes and finish the other half the same day (it all depended on how she was feeling due to her illness).
2)Washing my mom's hair by telling her were going to the beauty shop and hand her the shampoo and conditioner and explained each step and had her help me by handing me the shampoo, then the conditioner. I also massage her scalp, dry her hair and comb it very gently. Then I gave her a great big “hug” and tell her how beautiful she looks and smells soooooooooo good! She will smile and say “Thank you”! (Please note, I also assure her that her “beautiful” hair will not be cut, it will stay long…sometimes she worries when she goes to the Beauty Shop that someone is going to cut her hair and I reassure her that this will not happen and then she is happy).
3) Wash her face and behind the ears & neck veru gently with a "warm" wash cloth: Then she will point at her check and lips which I know means to put New makeup and lipstick.
4) Pedicure (will soak and wash her feet very gently with Dove Body Wash). Also give her a foot massage as well. Then I put the cream the Doctor recommended and sprinkled some J&J Baby Powder. A new pair of socks would be placed on her feet.
5) Maicure: Massage both hands and arms with her favorite cream. Then let her choose the color (only "two" colors) and then I proceed painting her nails.
6) Brush and comb her hair very gently.
7) Sprinkle J&J Baby Powder between the sheets on her bed and in each slipper.
8) Body Cream is then placed carefully from the arms to the legs. The cream she loves, smells so good!).
9)Then end by placing a new bouquet of fresh flowers.

When everything was taken care of for my Mom, I always give her a “Great Big Hug” and “Kiss” her gently on the side of her forehead and “thanked” her for allowing me to help her take care of her bathing needs (My Mom always replies w/a smile and says: “Thank you too!”). I always tell her “how beautiful” she looks and I even “whistle” and she always gives me a great “big smile” and has a “twinkle in her eye”. We ended playing a few “Memory games”, watching a movie she likes (Tyrone Power – one of her favorite male actors. who was very HANDSOME). We would have her favorite “Mango/peach” juice and “Blueberry Scones” to relax. In the evening, then I will tuck her in bed where I sprinkled some J&J Baby Powder, "warm" one of her blankets that I put in the dryer for few minutes, place her favorite “aqua” Teddy Bear next to her and she starts to relax and close her eyes. (Please note, if we are not watching a favorite movie she likes, then I will put her favorite music and she will start dancing and I will end by reading her a story before she falls asleep.

PLEASE NOTE: The above items occur when she does "not" want to take a shower..you can also look into buying the following bathing items to help you:

1) Body Wipes (by Comfort or another brand you prefer)
2) Bathing Cap with Shampoo & Conditioner added inside by Comfort... (you simply warm the cap for a few seconds, cool it slightly and then place the cap gently on the head and tuck the hare inside and massage the scalp gently. Within 2 minutes the hair is washed and smells "delicious"... [Please note: this is only when she doesn't want to wash her hair in the shower or in the sink (like the beauty shops have)]
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Rose_Ro

quote:
Originally posted by Valerie1:
tlucas,
You may want to start with baby steps making it a routine for you to assist with bathing mom. Maybe start each visit with something like a "girl's day" pampering. I won my mom over with making it a pampering day. It grew on her for a while before she moved into the stage where she doesn't want any part of bathing...but at least she got used to me being there for the process. Now it is just "let's go, it's time to be clean". I still do the things that she loved to begin with like putting the towels in the dryer so they are nice and warm for wrapping in after the shower. Everyone should have that kind of pampering!

Make sure you get rid of any inhibitions you may have before you start because your mom will pick up on your discomfort of the process and it may make it more difficult all the way around. You can do it.


yay Penn State! Smiler (Is that the State College?)
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Johanna C.

Dear GrammaKat: Welcome to this marvelous and helpful online community. We are very glad you have found us.

I would like to extend an invitation to you to write about yourself and your caregiving dynamics and your loved one on the, "Caregiver's Forum." Just click on that title where you enter the site.

The Caregiver's Forum is where most folks come to communicate about their loved ones and their experience/challenges. If you initiate your own independent discussion there, you will get many responses.

In any case, I am glad to have you amongst us. Let us know how you are doing, we care.

Johanna C.
Peer Volunteer
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Johanna C.

Dear Liz: You are an angel and your mother is beyond blessed to have such a loving and caring daughter.

Your story is deeply touching and has much information to learn from.

Only one question remains: Will you adopt me?
Insert smile here!

Hugs,
Johanna C.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: sheryl726

quote:
Originally posted by Grammakat:
My Mom is in the last stages, can't walk, talk or stand and as I read the way you care for your Mom, I smiled, because using your love, kindness and thoughtfulness still works!


Welcome to our site Grammakat, Would love to see you in a chat room some evening. We are a great support for each other.

Come again and post a new thread sometime.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Mimi S.

Hi Derval,

Welcome to our site. We're so glad you found us.
And what a wonderful gift you gave your mother. And even better that she liked it.

Do tell us something about your situation.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: derval

Hi Mimi,

Tell about any problem that your mommy has... And she needs extensive care and concern. With the help of home care taker you are providing each and every care that she needs. Smiler
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Valerie1

Hey Rose,
Yep, it is Penn State. I am still learning the site and I corrected my profile to reflect that. I will figure it all out soon as you all are my best source of good information and support.
Happy Mother's Day.
Valerie
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: derval

Hi
So, what you gifted to your Mom on this Mother's Day? I gifted a personal care taker for my mom. She is very happy now. It really worked for mom, may work for yours also. Smiler

________________________
Home help
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Mimi S.

Hi TLucas,
Welcome to our world. We're so glad you found us.
And also glad to see that your mom is being seen at such a top notch medical center.

I like Valerie's ideas. People of my age (80's), well most of us, were never pampered. We might have had a perm, but salon visits to do our feet! Never. So I think that idea of girl's daily pampering is great. If you try it, do let us know how it works.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Advocation/Mary

Liz P

I just read your statement of how you care for your mother. It has literally brought tears to my eyes. I'm 49 and was diagnosed with EOAD August 08. I have two daughters, ag 27 & 19.

The stage that I am currently at does not require assistance with toiletry. Frankly, I think it would embarrass my two dtrs.

I know it must be strange for you, taking care
of your mother as she did you as a child. I have an immense respect for you. I applaud you. You show love to your mother, gentleness and are respectful in recognizing her need of dignity (even though she can't say if for herself).

Your gentle touch, soft words and respect that I assume comes from your deep love is breathtaking. God will keep a place for you....

I thank you for sharing your unselfish act for your mother. Please, if you will forward this to the "caregivers forum". I truly believe it will not only help loved ones/caregivers in time of crisis/needs, but, also bring back the basic feelings of simpler times when these roles were reversed!
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: CDiane

LizP, I don't have Alzheimer's but am a caretaker...can I adopt you?????? Love it. You are beautiful.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: howdy2u

Liz, these are wonderful ideas and all positive reinforcement!

I have also found that if there is some pampering happening (scalp, hand, foot, neck massage), mom is eager to have her baths and have her nail care done. If she seems very confused or is upset about something, I defintely don't pick that time to announce that it's time to bathe.

The more flexible I am, the better this part of caregiving is. Mary, I thought I might be embarassed (or she would) with seeing my mom naked, but we are both girls and it really turned out to be no big deal.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: tlucas

I wish my Mom would let me help her. My Dad is Mom's caregiver but I live next door. Mom is somewhere between early and mid stages of Alzheimer's and still thinks she is fully capable of housework, personal hygene, etc. In reality she lays around in her pajamas all day in front of the TV. I know that she doesn't bath or comb her hair (Dad still takes her to the hair salon weekly - thank God her stylist is great with her) but she swears that she baths daily. If they are expecting company or have an appointment I walk over to make sure she is clean and dressed appropriately. I can't imagine her letting me bath her when it isn't a "special" occasion. Any ideas?
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: BeckyP

Sounds like my mom is at the same stage as Grammakat's.

Although she can no longer participate in her care and grooming needs, she still can express in her own way, how good it feels to be pampered and cleaned up and still on those special moments, says thank you and I love you. I cherish and cry when she still has those lucid occasions when I know she is still in there somewhere.

Thanks for posting this Liz P, good loving suggestions.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Rose_Ro

tlucas, has she begun any AD meds, and / or a low dose of an anti-depressant? What kind of doctor has she seen?

This is an older post...your experiences are very common with AD Frowner

If you want, go to the caregiver forum, and begin a post there Smiler There are more people there, posting more often
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: eloquentsolution

my routine is a little different, but i agree with everything you presented. your mother raised a beautiful woman!
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Grammakat

My Mom is in the last stages, can't walk, talk or stand and as I read the way you care for your Mom, I smiled, because using your love, kindness and thoughtfulness still works!
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: tlucas

Thanks Rose and Val . . .
Mom is a patient at Mayo Clinic so she sees several doctors there, including a neurologist. She is on Aricept, Namenda, and an anti-depressant.
I don't have any inhibitions about bathing Mom - I do so when necessary. The problem is that she insists that she just bathed and doesn't need another bath. When she is expecting company or has an appointment I can usually talk her into it by agreeing that she's already clean but that we need to make sure she is extra clean since it's a "special" situation.
I will also take your suggestion and start any new posts on the Caregiver's forum.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: SuzyQ

Wow, you are totally impressive. You are such a thoughtful caregiver.
Anonymous
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 9:09 AM
Originally posted by: Valerie1

tlucas,
You may want to start with baby steps making it a routine for you to assist with bathing mom. Maybe start each visit with something like a "girl's day" pampering. I won my mom over with making it a pampering day. It grew on her for a while before she moved into the stage where she doesn't want any part of bathing...but at least she got used to me being there for the process. Now it is just "let's go, it's time to be clean". I still do the things that she loved to begin with like putting the towels in the dryer so they are nice and warm for wrapping in after the shower. Everyone should have that kind of pampering!

Make sure you get rid of any inhibitions you may have before you start because your mom will pick up on your discomfort of the process and it may make it more difficult all the way around. You can do it.
 
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