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Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463
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Originally posted by: sveti
I don't know what to do.
He has been up all night wanting to go home. I told him we are at home and he told me he wants to to his boyhood home and that his mom, dad and brothers are waiting for him and he does not want them to worry about him. they have been dead for a long time. CAre taker left, I called his sister who is here now.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
sveti, First take a deep breath!  I am so sorry your going this direction, I know it's tough..... First let me say, this is his focus for today/this week but soon enough he will move on to the next focus  .
You hear of this kind of talk alot with dementia. It's common. So no worry there, though there is little you can do but try and calm him. Is he distract-table at this point?
Have you tried telling him that you will take him home? (sometimes that works) Of course often time it's impossible to take them to the physical childhood home, but you can tell him that you will. BUT it's being remodeled and you will have to go next week. If his childhood home is in another town/state tell him your trip is planned for 2 weeks from now. Hopefully at that point he will have forgotten the subject, if not guess what? Your trip is planned for next week and so on. At this point it's time to use the fibblets to calm him.
Hang in there! I am sure it's scary and sad to watch. Keep us informed on how it's going. Thoughts and Prayers.
When Dh was doing this, back during the raging delusions I just told him I will take you tomorrow because the roads are icy and/or foggy, the next morning he was fine! Of course it would start again but then I would tell him, I will take you tomorrow cause it's late and your Mom is in bed. Again it worked! Of course the subject will come up again, but fibbbbbbbblets work!
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Originally posted by: sveti
Dorine, thank you for replying.
Rkg. I tried all of that, I even told him that i would take him as soon as someone fixed my car as the battery was frozen. Nothing worked. During the night care taker and I told him that our son would be here in the morning and he would take him. He told us that he was with his (dead)brother and he was going with his brother and he would not go with our son.
this remides me so much of when dad passed away. All he wanted to do is be with his deceased mother, but he did not have dementia. This is a new journey for me. I am hanging in there the best that I can and pray that God will be with me and help me.
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Originally posted by: Dorinne
Call the help line now 800.272.3900 please.
Wish I could help.
Bless you
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
How frightening for you..Call the 800# right away!!!
Check starlings post on sveti this a.m. for some good info to consider.
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Originally posted by: lurk
Sveti, is his sister still there? Does he know that she is his sister? I read your post early this morning and didn't respond as I didn't know what to do. As soon as I got off the board and began my work, I wondered if it would help for his sister to just sit down and talk and talk and talk about his boyhood memories, the validation thing. Maybe a day of talking and listening would help.
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Originally posted by: sveti
jfkoc,
thank you, I checked all of the responces. I am waiting for his doctor to call me back. I don't know what I am going to do. An Agency is coming over to morrow to evaluate him. Agency was given to me by his gp. I am hanging in there the best that I can. I pray to God that he will see through this journey that he has put on.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
sveti, When you called the Dr, did you tell them it is urgent? I finally did that one day when I called. Because the one or two times I had ever called and left a message with a question it had taken all day for someone to get back to me. And for us, I rarely call (and I mean rarely) so for me to call with a concern they should be on alert. But it seems that they are so busy now days that some days it could be the next day before they get back to you.
Your correct that many people during the passing process do believe that already passed people are present. I can remember about 6 months before my Uncle passed from cancer I was staying with him and he kept saying, Joe this, Joe that! Of course not making any sense. I was baffled cause I knew no Joe had visited. When my Aunt got home from work I asked her who's Joe? She told me that he was my uncles neighborhood friend who had passed the year before.
Hang in there my Dear! Sending lot's of energy and calmness your way.........
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Originally posted by: sveti
fjkoc,
Thank you, for some reason I feel very strong today inspite of all. Yes I found the post regarding RE admitting. I don't think I am going to do that. not just yet. However I plan to ask doctor which is best equipped for that reason.
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
You are in his hands at all times!!! You are with us too.
I hope you found the one re: admitting through an ER that feed into a geri-psych floor.
Don' t forget the 800#
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
Good. You just want to know what to do if you need to act.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
Sweet Dreams sveti! I hope!
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Originally posted by: sveti
I am just about to go to bed and leave the care taker with for a few hours. Trouble is I am such light sleeper. Good night.
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Originally posted by: Dazed2
Several of you have suggested calling the Alz help line. What do they say to you to help in a difficult situation? How can they help when you're going through a crisis?
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
The chair idea makes sense. He would not be the first to spend the night in one. You, on the other hand, need to go to bed.
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Originally posted by: sveti
lurk,
his sister comes and goes, she doesn't stay long enough to talk. the most she has stayes is for an hour at a time. Nice sister! I talked to our gp tonight, and between the two os us we decided to slowly lower (not cut out) his seraquel. WE thought that it might be a reaction to the seraquel. I only gave 50mg at four today and only 100 at eight tonight. We'll see if it helps somce. The care taker suggested to keep in the living recliner chair until he asks to go to bed tonight. At this point I willing to try anything. Thank you for caring, it means a lot!
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
Hi Dazed.
The best answer to that is to call 1-800 272-3900 now.
Do come back and tell us.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
sveti, Where are you? We haven't heard from you in a couple of days, I am beginning to worry!
Please check in.............
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Originally posted by: Carolina Songbird
I've called a couple of times. In neither case was I in a crisis, I just didn't know what to do next and had no one who could help me sort that out.
Both social workers were very kind and supportive, listening carefully and helping me clarify what my main concerns were. Too many times we can't see the forest for the trees. They helped me sort through all the options.
In one case in particular, we talked for quite a while sorting through all the plans of action I had considered. It came down to only one that could be implemented, and I was not sure that would be successful. I decided to just wait for the situation to play out to its logical conclusion and be ready to pick up the pieces then. The social worker affirmed me in that decision and made sure I knew I could call back when those pieces fell. (picking up pieces now!)
Ask for a Care Consultant when you call. That way you'll get straight to the person most qualified to help you!
Let us know how it goes!
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Originally posted by: Starling
You asked what can they do if you call the hot line.
I've called several times. When what I needed was the sound of another human voice to talk me down and let me talk, that is what they gave me. I got off the phone, more than once, able to keep going knowing I was not alone.
When what I needed was the advice of an experienced social worker with specific information because there was a crisis, that is what I got. What she told me was point by point what to do, and I did EXACTLY what she told me to do. The end result was a safe placement for my husband. Safe for him, but also safe for me. She made the assessment from what I told her that it was OK to wait for the morning and his doctor's advice from what I told her and that was the best thing I could have done.
If you are in crisis, call the number. If you have been in crisis long enough for multiple questions about the hot line to go back and forth, you should have called the number a couple of days ago.
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Originally posted by: sveti
RKG,
TRying to hang in, it's getting harder. Dr. changed seraquel to raspedol (sp). He was up all night again, spit up some blood this morning and I took him in for xray's. Changeds his anbiotic.
Still talking to his deceased relatives. On the way to the doctor he informed that his mom was with him all night and would not give money for the doctor. Last night he turn all lights off on the care taker as he did not want the people in the room to see her so they don't take her. He told her to hide behind him. I am doing all that I can, the rest is in God's hands. Thank you for caring.
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Originally posted by: sveti
Elaine K.
Thank you, I can sure all of the prayers I can get. He spit some blood last night so I had him at doctor's toady who ordered X-rays. turns out he has pheumonia in the left lobe. Her we go again. All he wants to do this evening is go home, (we are ata home) I keep on telling him we will go home tomorrow as it is very cold and slippery tonight. It's just talking to a brick, he goes on and on. It't hard to handle this. I am sure it's going to be another sleepless night. God give me patients as I am running out of them.
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Originally posted by: Elaine K.
Dear Sveti:
Just wanted you to know I'm offering prayers for you right now -- wish there was more I could do or offer advice -- my husband's not at that stage yet -- you do need rest -- I will continually pray for you this evening. Take care of yourself as best you can.
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Originally posted by: Dazed2
Thank all of you for explaining what the Alz help line is. I'm not in a crisis. In fact, things are going pretty good right now. I just wondered how talking to someone on the phone could help when things are bad. I didn't know it was staffed with social workers. That's good.
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Originally posted by: sveti
arteche,
Thank you for your prayers, I need all I can get.
I admire you, you are insperation to me being handicapped and all that and stil taking care of your husband.
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Originally posted by: Starling
Dazed the hot line has both volunteers and social workers. I've dealt with both. The volunteers will just listen to you vent, which is very useful when that is what you need. If they think you need to be passed on to a social worker they will do that as soon as one is free. If you ask for a social worker they will try to get you to one quickly.
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Originally posted by: arteche
svetti,My prays are with you. God is by your side, He will get you through........many, many hugs.
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Originally posted by: skericheri
sveti---Since the antibiotics that are often prescribed for pneumonia frequently appear to make things worse before they get better...You are probably going to need all of the patience that you can muster to make it through the next few days. Hang in there. Good luck!!
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Originally posted by: sveti
skericheri,
I am hanging in there even it's by a thread. He has actually fallen asleep, first time in four days. thank you for your support.
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Originally posted by: sf
Hi Sveti, hope you are hanging in there. My husband isn't sick with pneumonia, but he is up all night searching relentlessly for something. I can understand what its like to be both worried sick about them and so over tired that all you want to do is lie down anywhere and sleep. Hope you can get some rest soon and that things calm down.
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Originally posted by: sveti
sf
Thank you, this posts really do help. I don't know what I would have done without all you there. It's helps to talk to people (read from) that understand what we are going thru.
I am hanging in, and I did get some sleep last night in spite of it all.
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