Apply Now
RSS Feed Print
going away
Internal Administrator
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: jeannieo

DH's ex wife if flying up from Florida on Thursday to stay with him so I can go to Cape Cod to see my sister. I need it soooo bad! His DD who lives about an hour away evidently has dropped off the face of the earth. Here is my question: When I leave, he will be at day care. He can't remember anything I say from one moment to the next. Do I tell him I'm going? I'll be gone for four days. If I don't get this time off, I'm going to be worse of a raving lunatic than I already am. I don't even know if he will remember who she is, sometimes he doesn't seem to know who I am. I don't know how to handle this. I'm so tired and frustrated and angry. help!
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: RHW

This is a hard one to answer. Someone with more experience is going to have to help out here. I don't know if I would tell him or not. I know that I would talk to the people at the day care and get their opinion. I am sure they deal with this kind of thing often.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: Suzanne F

The answer might be in this question. If you don't tell him, will you worry about it the entire time you are gone to the point it would ruin your time away? If so, tell him. If he remembers it, fine. If he doesn't, fine. At least it has not ruined your time to relax.

Enjoy your time away. We ALL need it. I'm happy that I'm getting away this afternoon for a baby shower!!!
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: jeannieo

@ Suzanne~ No, definitely won't ruin my time away. I think I'll play it by ear and decide at the last minute whether to tell him or not. thanks! Smiler
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: Mimi S.

Hi Fluffy Chenille.
Welcome to our world. We're so glad you found us.
And thank you for your excellent suggestion.
Do tell us more about yourself.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: BJ_Wolff

We told my mom the day of that she would be staying for a week. I was out of state and my husband was working. We spun it like we (my husband and I) needed help as we were not going to be home and we had found a nice place for her to stay. She went willingly.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: JAB

Jeannieo, I don't know whether you should tell him in advance, but it might be a good idea to prepare some things to help him (which will help his ex!) when you're gone. For example, if you have a tape recorder or video camera, tape yourself talking to him, telling him you love him and will be home soon. That way, if he starts fussing because he can't find you, she can play the tapes for him to reassure him. And/or prepare some little, loving notes that he can read.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: Starling

Yes, just saying it's time to eat or it's time to go out to lunch worked when my husband was at that stage. There comes a stage where it doesn't work anymore. My husband lost a lot of weight at that stage. Then he allowed them to feed him, and they got the weight stabilized - for 7 months now. But even with supplemental shakes he has not gained any of the lost weight back.

At some point feeding him will no longer work, and that is just the disease.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:16 PM
Originally posted by: FluffyChenille

My suggestion would be to write a nice little note in large letters saying for instance, I am going for a short visit to see my sister. I will be back very very soon. Please don't worry! Love you.

Keep it simple and let his x-wife keep it handy at all times and hand it to him as if it's the first time he is reading it. Every time he asked her where you are she can hand him the special note you left.

I had to do this when my father's caretaker ( my brother got very ill and had to be hospitalized ) I brought him to our house and he was constantly asking me where my brother was. I decide to answer all his questions by writing them down and when ever he ask I handed him the large note with all the answers. It seemed to help him and me because I got very tired of answering the same questions over and over and over and seeing his distress.

Have a great visit with your sister....you hubby will be fine.
 
× Close Menu