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Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463
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Originally posted by: kentsma
I asked DH where his wife was. He thought, a minute, and said "I think she's dead. Nothing ever hurt this much.
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Originally posted by: RevSasha
I'm so sorry for you. When our most intimate relationship loses presence in our LO's mind it has to be heart-wrenching. We can so easily say "it's the disease talking," but our hearts can't grasp that, it just plain hurts because we love so much. Blessings.
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
Ouch...time to stop the questions. I hope he does not see you as a total stranger. Perhaps when you arrive ( I have assumed he is in placement) just tell him your name. You do not want to add any stress.
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Originally posted by: Starling
My husband asked me where I was one day years ago when he was still at home and didn't look all that sick. It really hurt that he didn't know who I was.
By the time he went to the nursing home, he knew I was someone who took care of him and cared about him, but that was all.
Now he doesn't always know that someone is there, even when he is awake. And the nursing supervisor told me that is true about staff as well.
I HATE this set of diseases not just for what it does to the patient, but to the caregiver too.
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Originally posted by: Zolly
kentsma
There is a lot of hurt in the Dementia world.
My wife has no idea where I fit in her life. She does not know my name, does not know I am her husband, does not know where in her "previous" life I fit. This is Dementia.
Adjust yourself for the disappointments. They keep coming and coming. May I suggest you adjust and/or prepare yourself to be mentally "separated" from your husband from hereon. Put up your psychological walls, your mental protection so as to accept the circumstances as they really are. Adjustments are for your benefit, yours.
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Originally posted by: Cathy J. M.
I agree that asking questions can only be distressing now -- to you, if not to him.
Remember that even if he doesn't know you're his wife, he can feel the love you're communicating to him.
Try to comfort yourself -- {{{{hugs}}}}
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