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Mom COMPLETELY dressed herself today!!!!!!!!
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Originally posted by: Deirdre44

quote:
Originally posted by connie jane:
I too am pleased for you. My Mom is 79 and has lived in Memory Care for two years. I live two states away and have tried to meet her needs long distance because she has so many friends and family in the county she was born in and has lived in all her life.

For a whole year before Mother moved to Memory Care, I called her my "pajama girl" because she didn't dress anymore, felt bad a lot of the time and stayed in bed all the time.

She needed to be upright more, eat better food, let someone else shop and cook, be around more people and have someone else to lock the door at night. My three brothers who live in the same town as her "let" me do almost everything long distance. They wouldn't clean or throw out bad food. I did that every 6-9 weeks when I came to see her for a week.

Now, as I said she lives in Memory Care. When it doesn't matter to her to be in her "home", I will bring her to nursing care where I live and can see her every day.

Several keys to Mother's dressing herself:

1. She only has black pull-on slacks which always look nice with her black tie shoes and only black diabetic (loose) socks.

2. She has only has about 12 outfits in her closet. I change them out seasonally when I visit.

3. I bought her men's jockey life muscle shirts. They have a higher neck, higher arm holes, and are thicker soft cotton. She loves the feel, stays warmer, and hardly ever puts on a bra anymore--when she does it is front-opening.

4. I have to de-clutter her apartment with each visit. I don't throw away anything important but she is "my mother the squirrel". I clean out the tiny fridge and the table tops and drawers when I visit. She can't find things in clutter--there isn't any point in her trying. On the first night of my visit, I get up after she has gone to sleep. Work for a couple of hours and the next morning she LOVES that I have "cleaned off the table top".

I wish I were closer. Lots of challenges to long distance primary care giving. I know how fortunate I am that she is happy in Memory Care and they are truly wonderful. We must have come through that golden window of opportunity--Mother doesn't remember or miss the home that my Dad and she bought and lived in for fifty-five years. Three or four times a week I ask her if she would like to come for a visit and stay a day/week/year. If she ever says yes, I think I will be there before morning.

Okay, I have rambled but I want to tell any who may benefit: SIMPLIFY Don't ask, do. Discussion or arguing is not really an option. Granted, I feel that I may go to hell for all the lies I have told--but I tell my Mother what makes her happy. We talk once in the morning, and once at night. I supply most information but remind myself to let her get her say in--and sometimes it is really not making any sense and we move on. She never gave up on me. Thanks.


What a sweet post Smiler And sweet daughter! I can see why the brothers ''let'' you do things, but what a shame they don't help more Frowner

Regarding # 3 - my mother wears one of those crop top bras, it helps a lot. She wears a size larger, because it seemed to bother her back. Thanks for all the info.

I had this really interesting wake-up call this afternoon. I went to help my mom get ready, and she wasn't feeling good. She and my father went out to do something. I realized I had put WAY too much stuff in her little bathroom down here. If she had 10 lipsticks, in the same color, that's better than several choices. her whole routine was thrown off for some reason. So having to choose anything was just too much.

She is in this zone right now where she wants to do more things. For example, she told me she didn't need help getting ready.

Before I knew it, she was downstairs STARVING. I had forgotten she needs to have a snack at a certain time. Then I saw the clothes on the bed. I have no idea what she was thinking (and she might not either!), but she had six or seven similar sweaters in different colors on her bed. They're actually too warm for this weather, in a way. She had a few other shirts too there. Then, I had had to prevent myself from laughing when I went down, earlier. There was a full length velvet skirt on the couch. She told me she had considered wearing it. Oh my goodness! If she had shown up wearing that, wow! What she had on looked great, a top I had put out for her, and she had picked out and put on her own lightweight corduroy pants.

But as you posted, I have to get rid of a LOT of things. For the first time, I will take her summer clothes and put them in another closet. And do some more things with sweaters so she can feel better picking out an outfit. She clearly wants to do more, and I am trying to help her...
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Originally posted by: Deirdre44

quote:
Originally posted by daughter/caregiver/teacher:
OK....listen up. Since mom has come to live with me, I have ALWAYS had to help her dress AND get undressed...ESPECIALLY the bra. She has NEVER made ANY attempt to try to take her bra off when getting dressed for bed. HOWEVER.....for the last two nights, SHE has initiated getting "ready" for bed herself. She goes into her bedroom (without asking where it is!!) turns the light on (without asking where it is!), finds her PJs (without asking where they are), and last night she COMPLETELY undressed herself ..EVEN BRA!!! and put her own PJS on...comes back into the living room..walking NORMALLY (no more itsy, bitsy steps!!!)... WOW!! Isaid...WOW!1 MOM!!! You did all of that on YOUR OWN!!! You are getting SO MUCH BETTER!!! SHe smiled and says "I think I am getting better!" I said, "WOW>>>Doesn't that make you feel SO GOOD???" She says, "yes, it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something!" HOW ABOUT THAT YOU ALL?????????????????


I think I will always remember the moment my mother stepped up to doing this again,when she started the aricept. I didn't realize until then that she really was not fully dressing herself, or how much it wore me down to help her so much.

I am so happy for her and for you. I know what a difference this makes. it's continuted for the last month or more, and it's a blessing. Along with other recent good things.

I will remember the day I walked in and she was dressed. It hit me - she not only put the clothes on, she picked them out!

To the other posters, my mother had been on he full dose of Namenda. We added the 5 mg and she immediately stepped up to dressing herself and remembering things she had forgotten before.
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Originally posted by: sheryl726

Berta,
so glad to welcome you to alz.org
Thank you for the support that you are sharing.
Please come often and post.
Internal Administrator
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: daughter/caregiver/teacher

OK....listen up. Since mom has come to live with me, I have ALWAYS had to help her dress AND get undressed...ESPECIALLY the bra. She has NEVER made ANY attempt to try to take her bra off when getting dressed for bed. HOWEVER.....for the last two nights, SHE has initiated getting "ready" for bed herself. She goes into her bedroom (without asking where it is!!) turns the light on (without asking where it is!), finds her PJs (without asking where they are), and last night she COMPLETELY undressed herself ..EVEN BRA!!! and put her own PJS on...comes back into the living room..walking NORMALLY (no more itsy, bitsy steps!!!)... WOW!! Isaid...WOW!1 MOM!!! You did all of that on YOUR OWN!!! You are getting SO MUCH BETTER!!! SHe smiled and says "I think I am getting better!" I said, "WOW>>>Doesn't that make you feel SO GOOD???" She says, "yes, it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something!" HOW ABOUT THAT YOU ALL?????????????????
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Originally posted by: Berta

This is wonderful news!! I hope it continues for you all!!
Anonymous
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
Originally posted by: Mind-Start

Here are some more ideas I have used as an occupational therapist, to increase independence with self-cares:
  • Keep only season appropriate clothes in the closet
  • Try hanging all items of a day's outfit onto separate hangers,including underwear and socks, with a day of the week label on the hanger. Even if your loved one cannot follow which day of the week to choose, it helps the staff know if the person has changed clothes or not.
  • Group like items together. For example, toothbrush/toothpaste and cup all together. One lipstick, blush, powder in another tray. Eliminate clutter and help keep it this way!
  • Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: connie jane

    I too am pleased for you. My Mom is 79 and has lived in Memory Care for two years. I live two states away and have tried to meet her needs long distance because she has so many friends and family in the county she was born in and has lived in all her life.

    For a whole year before Mother moved to Memory Care, I called her my "pajama girl" because she didn't dress anymore, felt bad a lot of the time and stayed in bed all the time.

    She needed to be upright more, eat better food, let someone else shop and cook, be around more people and have someone else to lock the door at night. My three brothers who live in the same town as her "let" me do almost everything long distance. They wouldn't clean or throw out bad food. I did that every 6-9 weeks when I came to see her for a week.

    Now, as I said she lives in Memory Care. When it doesn't matter to her to be in her "home", I will bring her to nursing care where I live and can see her every day.

    Several keys to Mother's dressing herself:

    1. She only has black pull-on slacks which always look nice with her black tie shoes and only black diabetic (loose) socks.

    2. She has only has about 12 outfits in her closet. I change them out seasonally when I visit.

    3. I bought her men's jockey life muscle shirts. They have a higher neck, higher arm holes, and are thicker soft cotton. She loves the feel, stays warmer, and hardly ever puts on a bra anymore--when she does it is front-opening.

    4. I have to de-clutter her apartment with each visit. I don't throw away anything important but she is "my mother the squirrel". I clean out the tiny fridge and the table tops and drawers when I visit. She can't find things in clutter--there isn't any point in her trying. On the first night of my visit, I get up after she has gone to sleep. Work for a couple of hours and the next morning she LOVES that I have "cleaned off the table top".

    I wish I were closer. Lots of challenges to long distance primary care giving. I know how fortunate I am that she is happy in Memory Care and they are truly wonderful. We must have come through that golden window of opportunity--Mother doesn't remember or miss the home that my Dad and she bought and lived in for fifty-five years. Three or four times a week I ask her if she would like to come for a visit and stay a day/week/year. If she ever says yes, I think I will be there before morning.

    Okay, I have rambled but I want to tell any who may benefit: SIMPLIFY Don't ask, do. Discussion or arguing is not really an option. Granted, I feel that I may go to hell for all the lies I have told--but I tell my Mother what makes her happy. We talk once in the morning, and once at night. I supply most information but remind myself to let her get her say in--and sometimes it is really not making any sense and we move on. She never gave up on me. Thanks.
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: eloquentsolution

    revel in the glory of every success. to what do you attribute this event? anything else change? meds? food? supplements?

    the reasons are of interest. the event for joy and pleasure for you both.
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: just exhibit love

    daughter/caregiver/teacher

    All I can say is Thank You for sharing this..

    Absolutely the most beautiful post I have ever seen written on this forum..Namaste Rosie
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: kbaader

    What a great change in your routine. You will have to remember situation when you are having a rough day down the road.
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: Viethoa

    Well, I have a research about this disease so I enter this forum to get information. Nice to meet you!
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: Viethoa

    Well, your hope and love for your mother helped her overcome this disease.Congrats you! Keep going forward!
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: Mimi S.

    Welcome to our Forum Viethoa. We're so glad you found us. Do tell us something about yourself and your situation.
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: Faye 2

    What have you done to cause the changes? My mother needs help with most things so I would love to here how you managed to have her do these things by herself. Change of Meds?
    Anonymous
    Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:40 PM
    Originally posted by: Callie J

    What caused the change? Was it a new med.
     
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