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sending money to mail scams
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Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463

Originally posted by: kailuagal

My mother-in-law, 80, with early onset but in total denial is sending money to every charity and scam that comes to her. We only found out after she allowed my husband to be on her bank account and have gone back 3 months to find $200-300 monthly that she sends out. She does not have the money to do this, and is often overdrawn. We don't live close, so there is no way for us to physically take control. Any suggestions?
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: Vicki B

Even though you do not live near your MIL you could have all of the bills transfered to your address and hubby could pay them on line.

You could even have her mail transfered to your address and then forward any mail that she would need by a courier service on a weekly basis.

You should also be able to monitor the checking account on line daily.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: Zirdob

One suggestion would be to get her on the "do not call list" to minimize inbound calls. There might be something similar for written solicitations. It takes more effort to respond to written scams.

I also got rid of my dad's caller ID display to keep him from dialing out to the inbound calls he had received - many of which were junk calls.

It can be a real hassle. You may also want to check with the bank and see if they have any ideas - maybe cancel any "overdraft" coverage which would automatically extend credit when there is not a balance. Possibly reduce the available balance to a set amount with the rest going to a savings only account - i.e. in the case of a monthly direct deposit.

Make sure your husband has all the necessary legal documents in place, power of attorney, etc. to manage her affairs. Some state or county departments of aging services have programs designed to assist those in need with little resources or special needs. If possible, a trusted volunteer could be recruited (or even paid) to check on your mother-in-law.

Good luck!

Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: maplesyrp

Wow, this must be a symptom of AD. My mom has been scammed so many times that I have lost count. She usually sends money to Montego Bay ,Jamaica. I brought her to live with me about 2 months ago. I went thru the piles of mail and found umpteen hundred sweepstakes and letters from psychics. She had notes written on scraps of paper with names and addresses and how much money to send. These scammers are heartless. I think that Vicki B has a good idea to have your moms mail sent to your address. These scammers get more and more clever. The sweepstakes paperwork I've seen is so authentic looking that it could fool me if I didn't know better.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: Hope Springs

My Mother is 80 and mid-stage, when I took over her banking a year ago,I found over $2,000 had been sent over the last 1-2 years to both Readers Digest and Publishers Clearing house. My Mom was buying stuff and then sending it to goodwill. I put her on all the do not call lists and registered her on-line with both Readers Digest and Publishers Clearinghouse on-line do not contact. Still the garbage continued to come. I sent letters, emails, returned the stuff and finally sent a copy of my power of attorney -certified with this message - anything else you send goes in the trash. My Mother actually felt a connection with these companies ie: she may win something, something coming in the mail. Finally it stopped but it took six months and every once in a while they give it another shot. I have diverted her mail to my address and the caregiver logs in whatever goes to her address and shreds anything from anyone looking for subscriptions, money etc. Even with this firewall some stuff slips thru, two weeks ago I retuned two romance novels - my Mom has NEVER read a romance novel in her life! I give them one chance and return it with a "you can't do business with this person" letter and if they send anything else in the dumpster it goes.
Hope this helps.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: RuthW

My mother went through the same things and it was a nightmare! She had people calling her house phone even after we got her an unlisted number or on her cell phone because she'd fill out the forms on the things she mailed out and give it to them. She has now moved into a retirement center near my home, so I took that opportunity to forward all her mail from her old address to mine. I sort through all the junk and then bring her anything she actually needs to look at. In your case, that might not work, though because 1) if you forward all her mail, how to you get the real stuff to her? It's just a complication - you can do as Vicki suggested and Fedex it or something to her or get a neighbor or friend to help out, but still.... and 2) if she really is getting bills or things that need to be dealt with in a timely fashion, the delay in forwarding to you, then forwarding back (to a neighbor or friend) might take too long. Otherwise, there's not much you can do, unfortunately.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:46 AM
Originally posted by: Sandi554

You need to get Power of Attorney and control of the monies ASAP.
You'll need the money to pay for care...I urge everyone whether or not you have Alzheimer's to set up a trust and get a Power of Attorney and Health Care Proxy.
We did this when mom was of sound mind, glad we did.
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