Archived Message Board
Spouse/Partner Caregiver Forum
quote:Do whatever it takes for you, personally, to create a positive vision of your future with your spouse.
quote:Many people tell me it is time to place him in a home and I tell them it will wipe out my retirement and I don't cherish going back to work at 60 years old.
quote:Originally posted by sans espoir: I just want to be free and who does not want to be free?
quote:Originally posted by sans espoir:Posters have said things get better. How? When?The neuropsychologist and neurologist say there will be further decline only; even the functional evaluation says no improvement is possible.
quote:I did nothing to deserve this.
quote:I have tried the local Alz support group but don't find it too helpful.
quote:Originally posted by SherylS: At the local group, I'm the youngest there at 70 yr! Here, I'm the oldest!
quote:Originally posted by SherylS:quote:I have tried the local Alz support group but don't find it too helpful. Ditto. I found the local group to be mostly older people who don't know how to use a computer to get the help that we can get here. At the local group, I'm the youngest there at 70 yr! Here, I'm the oldest! But I get more help here!!Get yourself some anti depressants. A lot of us use them. It helps me to sleep at night and that's important for what we have to face during the days! Frankly, I call them my "don't give a shit" meds.....and frankly, sometimes I don't want to.
quote:Originally posted by Ben's wife:btucson - I understand completely when you say you wish he had a life threatening disease instead of AD. <><><>I understand wishing he had another disease. Family and friends who last LO's to cancer experienced equally devastating caregiving roles. We all have difficulty accepting that Alzheimer's is every bit life threatening. It is terminal unlike some others that hold out a cure.<><><><> I certainly don't want him to suffer, but I'm beginning to think there's no light at the end of the tunnel. <><><>It breaks my heart every day knowing there is no light at the end of the tunnel.<><><><> I have the same problems with his not wanting to bathe, change his clothes. Now he refuses to eat. He'll tell me he wants something, I fix it, only to have him sit down & look at it, and say "I can't eat that". I can't afford to be throwing food out all the time! Had himto the doctor, he said not to worry about his not eating. But I do. I'm home with him all day, every day. <><><>Same here, I see my LO becoming more fragil everyday. I cook meals to share. Leftovers, refused, food goes back in the pot or saved for another try.<><><><> I sympathize with your having to work, but right now it seems that even 5 hours away from home would look good, no matter what I'm doing. I can't leave my husband alone.
quote:Originally posted by sans espoir:There is no positive future for us. We had planned a separation, years ago, and now he has just forgotten this!I want him to be safe and secure, and will do my best to have this happen. As recently as January he asked "when are you planning to go to _____? When we talked about it in March or so, he told me I was crazy and that I would never get there. Why? I think because he really does not care what happens to me but I am going to do my best for him and also do my best to find my freedom.It is not that I want another man or another relationship. I just want to be free and who does not want to be free? JAB, especially as a new poster I will take your advice. I don't think anything goes on his mind except whatever passes through at the moment.His hostility toward me; very quick, if I am not on my game, is more than exhausting. I did nothing to deserve this.Cathy, it is not clicking in. The love has been extinguished. Maybe I am not as compassionate or caring as others here. I may have 25+ years to live and I don't want to live them like the last few years have been.
quote:Originally posted by DLMifm:Where do I find a financial manager who works pro-bono?
quote:Originally posted by pastrygirl: It's impossible to surmise from a disucussion forum what people have had to do to get their finances in order and place their loved ones. Assuming everyone else has money when you do not is a way to reinforce your sense of powerlessness. Only misinformation or lack of information keeps us powerless.