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Originally posted by: meeko11
Ellen Lee-welcome to your new family. Feelings of being alone are all too common with this disease. Never thought I would envy a couple just putting groceries away together. Let us know what we can do for you.
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Originally posted by: LLW1849
I just found this website yesterday because I was feeling so isolated and alone on Christmas day even though I had experienced several great times with family and friends leading up to the day. We have always spent that day with my husband's family, but now we find ourselves excluded from Christmas events as family has aged and parents have died. I feel like I'm celebrating alone, and frankly, cried all day while my husband sat alone and watched TV as always. I realized that I needed to find a support group and a way to express my feelings. I can't expect my grown children with families of their own to fix my problems, and my husband's son now lives and works hundreds of miles away and visits occasionally. Thank everyone for their input. It has already been helpful.
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Originally posted by: SnowyLynne
To all of you xclose to family let them know how you feel.They can't help if they don't know......Don't be a martyr its unbecoming........
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Originally posted by: Ellen Lee
Sooo lonely and the farther he slips away the lonelier it gets. Just joining.
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Originally posted by: AzK86314
i think i mit be wrong format.Sometimes feel alone 2.My sibs are 3,000 miles from me.1 sometimes talks 2 me other don't call ask about our mom.She has early stage of ALZ.I'm the baby of our family.I think they think i can handle it.They very wrong there.1 tell me 2 get a back bone suck it up.What a sister huh?I get more help on here or in chat rooms then my own sibs.Its like we all are going thru the same has i am.Strangers helping strangers.They here for anyone 2 vent or get help how werid is this your own family don't help miles away.Is it because they don't want 2 see they parent this way or don't care.Well i love my mom 2 death,will do as much has i can do.Sry 4 babbling on God Bless You All
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Originally posted by: JAB
Ellen Lee!
and LLW1849!
Two newbies at once.
Hi, welcome to the forum. Please feel free to start threads of your own, to introduce yourselves and let us know if you have any special questions or concerns. Click on the "Start a new discussion or poll" button in the colored bar near the top of the page. A tiny drop-down menu will appear (you have to look closely!) with a single option, "Discussion". Click on that. This opens a dialogue box. Be sure that the forum in which you want your thread shows up in the first line of the box. Enter the title of your new thread, and your first post, in the appropriate places. Then click on the "post now" button at the bottom right-hand corner of the box.
LLW, I used to live in KCMO (many moons ago), not all that far from the Plaza. It's a beautiful city. 'Course, I do prefer my new home ... San Diego. It reminds me of KCMO, with all the parks etc, but the weather is one heck of a lot better. 
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Originally posted by: Carolina Songbird
Ellen Lee and LLW, welcome to both of you. AS you can tell from what you have read already, there are lots of us who can relate to what you are experiencing, and we are ready to support you by listening, sharing a similar story, and give advice. We laugh and cry together, offer encouragement -- and sometimes administer a loving kick in the butt!
Be gentle with yourselves in this tender time of year, and please come back often to tell us how you and your LOs are doing. We care about you. You are part of our family now.
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Originally posted by: Dorinne
LLW1849
I went threw exactly the same feelings.
We moved closer to my Sisters and their familys,
and it's great, however, it is not my own children, and am loosing my husband to this terrible disease.
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Originally posted by: Dorinne
K,
Good for you,
My own Daughter just did not understand, I was needing help and tried to tell her everything ...she just got an attitude.  I was so alone with this disease and hubby.
I moved closer to my Sisters, 3 hrs closer. It is so much more support and understanding of what we are going through. She is a help and my friends here are the best. 
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Originally posted by: Ellen Lee
so difficult to believe that this is the last stage. every doctor seems to deal with the physical and no one is helping or acknowledging the mental
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Originally posted by: Cathy J. M.
quote: Originally posted by Ellen Lee:
THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO WELCOMING TODAY IS ANOTHER FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF DAY MY BIRTHDAY HE IS FEELING BETTER PHYSICALLY BUT MENTALLY OUT OF IT HE ALSO HAS CANCER AND ALL DOCTORS ARE CALLING FOR HOSPICE BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SUCH PRIVATE PWOPLE AND HE STILL ONLY WANTS ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM
Consider hospice because of the support you yourself can get. It's not just about people coming in to do things for your dear husband -- but also helping you and keeping both of you company on this last stage of your life together.
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Originally posted by: Ellen Lee
THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO WELCOMING TODAY IS ANOTHER FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF DAY MY BIRTHDAY HE IS FEELING BETTER PHYSICALLY BUT MENTALLY OUT OF IT HE ALSO HAS CANCER AND ALL DOCTORS ARE CALLING FOR HOSPICE BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SUCH PRIVATE PWOPLE AND HE STILL ONLY WANTS ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM
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Originally posted by: Dorinne
That's sure true.
Today I can't shake the sadness, Hubby sleeping all day. Lost my interest in a lot of things. I should be getting some work done and here I set.
quote: Originally posted by Ellen Lee:
TODAY IS ANOTHER FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF DAY MY BIRTHDAY
It is your Birthday?
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Dear Ellen, Happy birthday to you, 
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Originally posted by: JAB
quote: Originally posted by Ellen Lee:
so difficult to believe that this is the last stage. every doctor seems to deal with the physical and no one is helping or acknowledging the mental
Oh, Ellen ... (((((hugs)))))
Doctors are so trained to focus on healing people, they often really cannot deal with death any better than the rest of us.
Dear, even if you are capable of handling your husband's physical needs, you might want to consider at least talking with two or three hospice organizations, to see what sorts of services they offer. They have equipment that can make your husband much more comfortable, an "emergency kit" with meds that he may need as he gets closer to the end, a chaplain to whom you can talk about how you feel. As Cathy said, they can be as much about helping you as about helping him. And I think as the end gets nearer, you will be very grateful for their help in keeping him calm and free from pain, and helping you understand where he is in the dying process.
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Originally posted by: Ellen Lee
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH I AM IN SUCH DENIAL IT CAN NOT BE THE END HE IS SLEEPING I MUST TOO SO I CAN BE STRONG WHEN HE WAKES I CAN ONLY CRY WHEN HE SLEEPS
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Originally posted by: lurk
quote: Originally posted by Ellen Lee:
so difficult to believe that this is the last stage. every doctor seems to deal with the physical and no one is helping or acknowledging the mental
That is exactly the reason you need Hospice. Do call them without delay. You will be so glad you did.
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Originally posted by: jfkoc
Ditto Lurk...the Drs are thinking of your and your husbands mental health when they suggest Hospice.
People used to use Hospice only when someone was on the verge of dieing. Not true anymore. If your husband thinks their arrival means imminent death do say they are aids of some kind.
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Originally posted by: Starling
quote: Originally posted by Ellen Lee:
so difficult to believe that this is the last stage. every doctor seems to deal with the physical and no one is helping or acknowledging the mental
THAT is what hospice is for. It acknowledges the mental and emotional parts of dying. It is true that it also will help with the physical parts of what is going to happen, and make sure the patient is comfortable and out of pain, but mostly it helps the survivors to acknowledge what is happening.
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