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Appointment with an atorney on Tuesday Sept, 13
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Linda Loo

Hi Pamella,
What a situation we find ourselves in. Please get a good Elder Law attorney. I have POA and Health Care Proxy finalized. My daughters are, in turn, both my and my husband's. Also, house is in my name now for if I pre-decease my hubby and house is in his name also, Medicare can eventually go after the house when he dies. This, of course, is if he ever goes in a N Home and Medicare pays some of the cost.
Internal Administrator
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: Pamella

I made an appointment with an attorney to talk about poa and what ever I should be doing. I have no idea of what should be done or what questions to ask. My husband will be 65 Jan. 1 is AD stage 6. Up until yesterday I was going to bring him with me but I was told by a friend that it probably wouldn't be a good idea for this meeting. Does anyone have any words of advise, wisdom that they can offer me?

Pamella
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: jfkoc

Oh, OK. I would go alone and become familiar with what need to be done. I find that writing things down helps so I always take pencil and paper.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Pamella

Thank you all for your advise. I do know this attorney and will ask him about his experience in this matter. My husband will understand what is being said wich is why my friends suggest that I have this meeting alone. I might not want to ask some questions with him sitting there. Good to know about the 2 types of POA. I have been putting this and realizing how fast things can change I need to stop thinking about it start things.

Again.....thank you Smiler
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: jfkoc

Why shouldn't your husband understand what is being said. A signed POA is something everyone of us should have.

Everyone needs to have someone in place to act for them if/when the occasion arises. If you are in an accident and a medical decision needs to be made who is going to make it?

It is just the responsible thing to do along with financial planning and funeral arrangements (if you know what you want) and wills.

My husband and I have documents where the other is POA. You can then list a secondary POA should the primary not be able to serve. We filled out health directives and Hippa forms at the same time.

If you need to discuss issues you do not want your husband to be privy to make a second appointment.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Cheryle Gardiner

Pamella, I will second Linda's recommendation that you get and Elder Law Attorney. First of all, in order for you to have his POA, he has to sign it, and if he's not considered competent to understand it, then his signature isn't legal.

Second, if you do get the POA, be absolutely certain that it is a DURABLE POA; anything else becomes invalid if the person becomes incompetent. A durable POA does not.

Third, if he truly is incompetent and you can't get POA, file for guardianship. They will check you out to be sure you're the right person, letters will be sent to any adult children to ask if they object, and your husband will also be given an opportunity to object. If he objects, the court will appoint an attorney to represent him and you will need to show that he's not making good decisions.

BEFORE you go, do a search on Illinois POA law and Illinois guardianship law. Each state is different; here in Oregon, for example, the only kind of POAs available are durable, so I didn't have that worry.

But please do research and arm yourself with as much information as you can. An Elder Law Attorney will be able to help you, since s/he will have had many cases with issues similar to your.

Blessings to you.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Pamella

I guess I did not say it correct. I am not making any decisions. I will discuss everything with my husband and he will go with on the second appointment or when final decisions are made. I am just going to see what my options are regarding POA, living will, etc. How can I protect myself from financial issues and anything eles I should know about. I want to be able to ask questions without my husband feeling anxious about the future. While I believe he understands most of what I talk about he lives in the moment. When everything is said and done, his imput will be very important.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Pamella

It's not a problem. When all is said and done he will be making the decision on how to proceed in the event he is not able to communicate. Wich I am afraid might be sooner than later. Confused
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Cathy J. M.

I don't really understand how someone in stage 6 could be competent to sign a POA -- but I hope I'm wrong about it in your husband's case.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Pamella

Cathy, My husband has some of the symptoms of stage 6 but not all. His speach is awful, he can't say 3 words together that make any sense. He can not tell you his name (or mine) does not know, the year, day, month, season. He needs assistance with dressing and showering. He can't open doors or put on a seatbelt, turn on the hose, or change a light bulb. He can't read or write. He can't follow instructions verbably but if you show him 2 fingers and ask him to do it he can. If you tell him to put up 2 fingers he can't. He is a shell of the man I married 20 years ago. 6' tall and now weighs 156 lbs and eats like a horse. He is still in there but it's getting worse.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: jfkoc

sorry, some of us just mis-interpreted what you said.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:20 PM
Originally posted by: Starling

From the sounds of it your husband may not be competent at this point to sign documents. Be honest with the lawyer you talk to about his condition.

I did paperwork with my husband much earlier and I think he was right on the edge of that point and he wasn't anywhere as sick at that time as your husband is now.

The lawyer was willing to proceed because I bought our old documents, from a different state, with me and the new ones were essentially the same. And my husband still could sign his name although he needed the lawyer's help knowing exactly were to sign. It was obvious he WANTED to make the paperwork right so the lawyer was willing to go forward.
 
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