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Originally posted by: ipoe
quote: Originally posted by Ky caregiver:
i know what you mean, I get so aggravated because my husband wont do anything except watch westerns all day. He plays Solitaire on computer sometimes. It is hard to get him to do any
thing!!
My Husband won't do anything..Just sits in his chair and walks around all over the house..and wants to go, go, go, and frustrates me to no end. when we go,he wants to come home and when we are home he wants to go. because he doesn't believe this is his home. maybe he needs an antidepressant. He is constantly saying he is no good, never has been and never will be. he will say he is down in the dumps.. enjoys playing with our little dog, Ginger, sometimes. wht in the world to do? seems nothing satisfies his longing for home..He also makes a growling sound a lot, especially when he feels like he is not getting enough attention..
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
I wouldn't buy new. Look at garage sales.
For the putty stuff I use any plastic like that on a hard surface, I use a plastic placemat.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
My DH went to bed at 6:00 pm because it had been an Adult Day Care day and he'd come home and worked more on a puzzle, instead of taking a nap. Of course, he was up in the middle of the night. He often gets up and watches TV and then comes back to bed. This time I found when I got up that the TV was on the Comcast Radio channel. Sure enough when I asked him, he said he'd been up for 1 1/2hr and was watching the Oldies channel on TV. Well, that's a RADIO station and all it does is show a picture of the artist and a small write up while the music is playing in the background. I know he likes this station during the day while he's working a puzzle, but to just sit and look at a non-moving screen, is an interesting action for 1 1/2hr anytime.
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Originally posted by: b kelley
Thanks guys for all the ideas,I will try some and see how we do. He has had a few very good days in a row,so that has been a great REST period for me.I just never know how long these good days will last.
Snorky if you ever want to just e-mail me one on one messages I would be more than happy to keep in touch with you.Or anyone else that wants to talk that way.
paulandbetty_kelley@yahoo.com
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Originally posted by: RevSasha
My DH's primary interests have been intellectual, reading and writing. He never learned to play games or do puzzles. He will watch TV with me, but does not hold his interest. As he became more and more unable to do his normal household chores, he got bored and would spend most of his time sleeping. I still work part-time and know he goes back to bed as soon as I leave for work. I have felt he was slipping too fast. I have started this week, at the counsel of our Alz Org case worker, to make arrangements for day care 2-3 days a week. Hoping the stimulation will help him "live" the life he has left. He is 82, diagnosed 4 years ago, late stage 4.
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Originally posted by: b kelley
SherylS-- My husband wants to go to bed in the early evening,but I try to keep him up so he will sleep longer,other wise we are up some times at 2 or 3 in the morning.I usually get up too,because I am never sure what he may do. He does not like TV unless I am watching with him.And puzzels are out too,never liked them so he won't try now.Sure is hard to second guess him.Always worried what the next day or night will bring. BK
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Originally posted by: howdy2u
quote: Originally posted by SherylS:
I see more and more of the photos taken of him, seem to have his eyes only half open. Is that part of the ride down the Alz Hwy?
One thing I've noted in hindsight is that as early as 5 years prior to her being diagnosed, I have pictures of my mom with her sisters, both of them are smiling and happy and she has that "blank" look and no smile.
Mom's pictures at Christmas are all with her eyes closed and her mouth open or lips pursed.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: b kelley
: What meds is he taking? Did the Dr. tell you at what stage he is now?
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: RevSasha
I started checking into Adult Day Care shortly after he was diagnosed and I came to this board. It did take several weeks for the paperwork to get processed (laid on the nurse's desk for a week I'm betting, and getting the back copy of our Dr. diagnosis/report to the Adult Day Care).
He's been going for at least 2 months and looks forward to it. His verbal skills are slipping and he tells me some pretty convoluted stories about what he 'did today' but I look forward to those 2 days, for sure! With shuttle time, he's gone from 9-3 on Tue and Thur. It's good for both of us.
I think mine is stage 4 also. He was still reading albeit 6th grade boys adventure books, but now says it's too hard. I think I'll try some easy travel brochures as they have lots of pictures and big print.
When we went and took the tour of the facility he was a little unsure of the young patients in the wheelchairs but I explained that they took people with ALL kinds of disabilities and they were in various rooms, so he was alright with that.
It helps in my DH's case that he's so social. Loves to be right in the mix. Wishes he were the activities director, I think. LOL
The Center's bookkeeper called me about a month after he started to tell me that since we were private pay that I should check into the Dept of Aging for into on a Federal Grant for Caregiver's Respite. In our state, it's run through a county office. We were able to get a good amount of the charges paid by that grant. Yipee. They also said that the VA was a good one for picking up the tab if your guy has any past military time served.
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Originally posted by: b kelley
How do you go to work? I am afraid to leave my husband for any length of time at all. I do not know when his mood will change. He too cannot watch tv for very long,takes alot to hold his interest too.
Love and prayers to you
Bkelley
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Originally posted by: b kelley
We do not have an ADD anywhere close to us.So we do not have too many options to help us.
prayers to you
bkelley
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: Originally posted by SherylS: quote: RevSasha
I started checking into Adult Day Care shortly after he was diagnosed and I came to this board in Sept. It did take several weeks for the paperwork to get processed (laid on the nurse's desk for a week I'm betting, and getting the copy of our Dr. diagnosis/report to the Adult Day Care). He's been going for at least 2 months and looks forward to it. His verbal skills are slipping and he tells me some pretty convoluted stories about what he 'did today' but I look forward to those 2 days, for sure! With shuttle time, he's gone from 9-3 on Tue and Thur. It's good for both of us. I think mine is stage 4 also. He was still reading albeit 6th grade boys adventure books, but now says it's too hard. I think I'll try some easy travel brochures as they have lots of pictures and big print. When we went and took the tour of the facility he was a little unsure of the young patients in the wheelchairs but I explained that they took people with ALL kinds of disabilities and they were in various rooms, so he was alright with that. It helps in my DH's case that he's so social. Loves to be right in the mix. Wishes he were the activities director, I think. LOL
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Originally posted by: b kelley
He is taking depakote-cogentin-clonidine-haldo
They seem to be helping mood wise,the dr. said he wants to start him on a drug next week that may slow the progression down.
They have not said what stage he is in.I have read all the info. and my guess is between 4 and 5. But things change pretty often so it is hard to tell.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: Our daughters say get some help but we are not ready for that.
Why are you not ready to see about getting some help? Is it emotionally or financially?
It sounds like your Dr. is getting ready to add Namenda or Aricpet (now a generic is available) or both. That's what my hubby was put on after his diagnosis. My DH is also on Depakote, as he's also bipolar. It keeps him calmed down but not a zombie. He's been on bipolar meds for 16 yrs. I am retired so I'm trapped here with him except on his days at the Center.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
Be sure and ask him to write it for the new generic Aricept as it's sooo much cheaper than the name brand. Your insurance might insist on generic anyway.
A relative has a caregiver come into their home and stay the night to watch their DH through the night. Use the FIND button at the top of this page to look up 'sundowning'.
I'm concerned that you'll burn out trying to watch him at night and then try to hold a job during the day.
Check with local social agencies to check on what help is available. The same program where I got help for my DH with the Day Care expenses said that I could have opted for 8hr week of in home care instead. You sound like you need help.
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Originally posted by: b kelley
we are not in a very good place to get outside help-and I don't think we need it yet.Our girls just worry that it is too mych for me.But really most days are ok. it just gets worse at night sometimes.Aricpet is what the dr. has told me.
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
Your insurance will automatically switch, unless the doctor didn't check that box.
Yesterday I received a renewal for Aricept from a mail order co. The original price, including my prescription plan was $100. The bill enclosed in the package for the generic was $38.55. The amount a person pays will depend on their insurnce coverage.
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Originally posted by: Starling
I called in the County caseworker twice. They could not help me financially. But they are the doorway to Day Care and in-house aides and all the other kinds of care even if they can't help you financially.
You call them in ANYWAY. They have information. And frankly their information is better than what I got from the AA caseworker. And the County caseworker was free. I paid AA for their caseworker.
The information is better ESPECIALLY if you don't live in a major city. It is better especially if you are in a rural or semi-rural area. Which I am.
We all need to learn to ask for help. This is the way you ask. Oh, and one more thing. They answer questions. They validate what you think is happening when you aren't sure. Even if they can't help you pay for anything, they can help you deal with your situation in the area you live in.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: we are not in a very good place to get outside help-and I don't think we need it yet.Our girls just worry that it is too mych for me.But really most days are ok. it just gets worse at night sometimes
Ditto what Starling said above! The federal program we got onto was the one for Caregiver Respite....YOU do need help. Don't wait.
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Originally posted by: Cathy J. M.
quote: Originally posted by Starling:
There is an agency on aging in EVERY COUNTY in the US. Call them.
You are taking it for granted that there are no services. You are almost certainly wrong. The doorway to the services is the County aging agency. This is a Federal/State program so they call it different things in different states.
Unfortunately, many states have cut their services way back (easy budget cuts, though short-sighted) or never had them to start with. Still, you're right, Starling -- no substitute for calling to find out! Even if there are no government-funded programs, or they have a long waiting list, there may be something else available. Still Tryin' is getting services for her mom from a United Way-funded program in her area.
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Originally posted by: b kelley
Thanks guys-I will be sure to ask about the generic.Prices of some of his meds are really hard to pay for.Thank goodness he had to stop smoking recently,that will save a lot.It has been hard-he still looks for them in his pocket and hunts for the ashtrays,but over all he has done great with this.He was a smoker for over 40 years! Bkelley
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Originally posted by: Starling
There is an agency on aging in EVERY COUNTY in the US. Call them.
You are taking it for granted that there are no services. You are almost certainly wrong. The doorway to the services is the County aging agency. This is a Federal/State program so they call it different things in different states.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: many states have cut their services way back (easy budget cuts, though short-sighted) or never had them to start with.
Yes, that's true, our State is also threatening to cut programs that fund shuttles....however, the one I found (our County's Aging and Disabilities office was contact) was for a Federal program that renewable for 3 years. Don't be disheartened. I paid full price for 2 months because I didn't check sooner and get the process started. It's not based on financial need so much as it's based on Caregiver situation.
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Originally posted by: Ttom
quote: Originally posted by CynthiaJ:
My husband was diagnosed with alzheimer's in November. He is 58. I can't get him to do much of anything around the house. He doesn't try to do games, read, puzzles - nothing.
I can tell ya, the Facebook games like Farmville, Citiville and Frontiervill help me. My grand children also play and I get to interact with them. It is great!
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Originally posted by: SherylS
In addition to the financial help we got with DHs Adult Day Care they also covered the cost for 2 of the ID bracelets, one for him and one for me in case something happens to me, they will know to look for him too.
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Originally posted by: SherylS
quote: I can tell ya, the Facebook games like Farmville, Citiville and Frontiervill help me. My grand children also play and I get to interact with them.
Yes, any activity like that is good for brain exercises. But, Frankly, there is no way I'm turning him loose on my computer to 'tweak' things and push buttons of which he has no background.
LOL
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Originally posted by: Marp
Just received a phone call from AA - they do not send caseworkers out to homes in my parents' county. What the crisis line is requesting is a vist from Adult Protective Services.
THEY DID NOT SAY THAT ON THE PHONE!!!!
They clearly said, we'll see if we can get a social worker out to your parents house.
My mother grudgingly agreed to that because she thought the social worker would be someone from the Alzheimer's Association, someone who understands Alzheimer's and dementia. Now it might be some loopy loo who knows nothing about Alzheimer's and dementia, AND they might not come at all.
The person I spoke with today is trying to work with Adult Protective Services to notify me if APS DOES NOT send a social worker out. They don't usually do that, but the AA counselor is trying.
I am so angry right now - my mother and I have repeatedly been misinformed by various people from the Alzheimer's Association. It's very irritating - my mother is reluctant to accept help from anyone anyway & the help AA is offering appears to be unreliable. Doesn't help much with my pleas for her to accept help since she can't count on it anyway & it might not be what she's been told.
quote: Originally posted by Marp: The AA caseworkers aren't free? I called the AA hotline last night and they are sending one of their caseworkers out to my parents' house. I don't think they mentioned a fee. It's fine if we have to pay, but I would rather they send the bill to me - if my mom knows there is a charge, she may not want the caseworker to come (and she needs HELP). quote: Originally posted by Starling:
I called in the County caseworker twice. They could not help me financially. But they are the doorway to Day Care and in-house aides and all the other kinds of care even if they can't help you financially.
You call them in ANYWAY. They have information. And frankly their information is better than what I got from the AA caseworker. And the County caseworker was free. I paid AA for their caseworker.
The information is better ESPECIALLY if you don't live in a major city. It is better especially if you are in a rural or semi-rural area. Which I am.
We all need to learn to ask for help. This is the way you ask. Oh, and one more thing. They answer questions. They validate what you think is happening when you aren't sure. Even if they can't help you pay for anything, they can help you deal with your situation in the area you live in.
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
There are lots of activities. Probably check brain activities under 'find'.
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Originally posted by: Marp
The AA caseworkers aren't free? I called the AA hotline last night and they are sending one of their caseworkers out to my parents' house. I don't think they mentioned a fee. It's fine if we have to pay, but I would rather they send the bill to me - if my mom knows there is a charge, she may not want the caseworker to come (and she needs HELP).
quote: Originally posted by Starling:
I called in the County caseworker twice. They could not help me financially. But they are the doorway to Day Care and in-house aides and all the other kinds of care even if they can't help you financially.
You call them in ANYWAY. They have information. And frankly their information is better than what I got from the AA caseworker. And the County caseworker was free. I paid AA for their caseworker.
The information is better ESPECIALLY if you don't live in a major city. It is better especially if you are in a rural or semi-rural area. Which I am.
We all need to learn to ask for help. This is the way you ask. Oh, and one more thing. They answer questions. They validate what you think is happening when you aren't sure. Even if they can't help you pay for anything, they can help you deal with your situation in the area you live in.
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
Hi all,
From my limited knowledge, not all Chapters have a social worker on staff.
Also, please be aware, that because of the general economy, donations to all social Services, including the Alzheimer's Association are down. The Association is trying to keep patient services. Sometimes it's not possible.
From personal knowledge, I know work loads are increasing. But services to affected people is always their top priority.
Marp, you wrote, "They clearly said, we'll see if we can get a social worker out to your parents house." To me that is not an absolute promise of a social worker. And if you local Chapter will be working with them, they will be educating the SW about dementias, if needed.
I do hope things work out for you.
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
Hi Marp, I don't think there is a fee for either Aging or Aliz. Assoc. In my rural County, the local Aging Office does the home visits and they are very knowledgeable about the various dementias
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Originally posted by: Ky caregiver
Ive been reading the posts about sending Alz loved ones to ADC. My question is how do you talk to them about going? My DH still denies anything is wrong with him, although he is slipping into stage 6 rather rapidly. It would be a godsend if I could get him to do this, I feel as if I have no life. Its all HIM. Please any suggestions!!!!!!
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Originally posted by: SherylS
Mimi: I wouldn't feel it's my place to talk to the media. It would seem that's something that should come from the county office of the Aging that supervises that Grant. But I do word of mouth wherever I can!!
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
Thanks Sheryl,
Keep spreading the word wherever you can.
Would you be willing to call the local media to try to spread the word that way.
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Originally posted by: Mimi S.
A letter to the editor to spread the word might work.
But you do what you can and that's wonderful!!
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