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Wow, what a timely and wonderful board addition
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: Lori1955

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes it is a big adjustment.
Learning to be a caregiver was difficult but we kind of learned as we went. As our loved ones progressed we learned along with that progression. It's different at the end. One minute we are their caregiver and then the next they stop breathing and we are lost.
I too am so glad they made this board so we can walk with each other once again. This time it is not to learn to deal with this disease but how to deal without it.
I'm glad you posted.
Internal Administrator
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463


Originally posted by: EmR

I lost my grandfather Tuesday morning and later that night when I went to the caregivers board I felt a little lost, not sure which posts I wanted to read any more. I had been following a lot of the posts of people who lost their loved ones recently and even though I had not posted myself, my heart was with them.

Tomorrow is the viewing and I keep poking my head into his room to make sure he's ok. Today they came and took away the hospital bed and the oxygen and it's jarring to look in there and see he's not there. My two year old daughter keeps going in there looking for her beloved Pop-Pop, and my heart is breaking. I have so much to do and I just don't know where to start.

My family and I went out and came home to an empty house for the first time in I don't know how long...I actually had to use my key to get in.

I thought it was hard to adjust to being a caregiver, now I'm not sure how to re-enter society. My friends have all been supportive but something has changed between me and the rest of the world.

I am so thankful for this new board.

As to the signature quote at the bottom of this post, he did live to the fullest while he lived and I am so proud to be his granddaughter.

EmR
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: "Mum"

Dear Emr,
Ann has said it so well and I would just like to add my condolences to your family at this time. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: meramac12

Dear Emr:

The others before me have said what I would have said. So just know my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family at this time. Please accept my condolences at this time.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: flintysooner

Hi EmR,

I, too, offer my condolences. Several of us have just been through the experience of losing our loved ones. It is a definite period of adjustment from caregiving.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: AnnR

Em,
So sorry to hear of your loss. Your grandfather must have been a very special man and you served him well. Please don't worry about the future right now. Now is for the planning of the celebration of his life. Tomorrow will come soon enough and with it the wisdom from God as to next steps.

Rest in the comfort of our Lord and in the knowledge that your beloved grandfather is at peace and whole once again. God understands your tears. They are healing, cleansing and necessary. Em, I will be praying for you.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: InMemoryOf

While my good friend Skerechi stated some good counterpoints to the addition of such a forum, those who have lost a loved one to AD do deserve this. I lost a very young friend to EOAD and I will always have her close to my heart. My heart was broken when I first met her and I have desperately been trying to put the pieces of my shattered heart back together. Still, many people will always have trouble with the emotional scars left by such an event. Mine was bad, but there are others that NEED this and all respect is due the administration for having the compassion to follow through on so simple a request. May this forum help them heal, if only in some small way and to express feelings some of us can only imagine.
Family can never be replaced only rejoined after crossing the Pearly Gates. Until then, grieving may last a lifetime. I think this forum recognizes that fact. You'd have to be inhuman to be numb to their suffering.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: J Winslow

Dear Emr,

May you find peace and comfort in knowing your spiritual connnection with your grandfather will never be broken. It has only been enhanced.

I understand the pain and emptiness of your loss. Over the next days and weeks and months, let your heart guide you, and let God comfort you.

My thoughts and prayers to you and your family,

Joyce
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: pkd

My heart and sympathies go out to all. When my mom passed away on 9/17, I felt so lost. I still feel so lost. I know what you mean by what people say. I know they mean it in the best possible way. But you can tell who does and doesn't understand what this disease is and what it isn't. You can't understand unless you've lived it.

Now that Mom is gone, I feel it is my duty to educate those that know nothing about this disease. I don't go out and preach but if someone asks then I try to get them to understand this is more than a memory disease - it is just so much more.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: Steph7

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand fully how you're feeling. The emptiness is overwhelming. You mention that you feel like something has changed between you and the rest of the world, I think this is the numbness we all feel when we lose a loved one. Almost like the heart and the head are disconnected. We do what we have to do but almost in a zoned out state. Take your time re-entering society. Your emotions (heart) will let you know when you are ready.
Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:35 PM
Originally posted by: EmR

Thank you all for your kind words, especially since I know you understand so well being caregivers yourselves.

The funeral was today and many people would come up to me and say (and I know they meant well, but it still made me bristle) "well, at least now you are free"

Yes, it's true that I can now come and go as I please, or take the kids to the park or even go to the upstairs level of my house without having to worry about what was going on downstairs, but it seems somehow insulting to the memory of my grandfather, as if I was just waiting for him to pass so I could "be free". I also know that I am oversensitive to comments like that right now and people are not saying it to be unkind.

And I'm trying so hard to be strong as I grieve, at least while I'm surrounded by people and our schedule is out of whack, that it's the little things that make me come undone. Like opening the fridge and finding a can of ensure there. I just want the visitors to be on their way so I can take a quiet moment and contemplate his final days and moments, and grieve in my own way, and not how everyone else thinks I should!

Thank you all again. This new forum is a godsend.
 
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