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Originally posted by: loveiswhatlasts
I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Have you tried Ensure? It's a lot of calories and nutrients in a sweet little drink. I've never tried freezing it, but he might like it cold or hot, like hot chocolate. I might be wrong, but at this point, I wouldn't worry too much about nutrients. If the only thing he'll drink is Coke, for example, it's better than nothing. I wish you luck.
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Joined: 1/14/2015
Posts: 40463
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Originally posted by: angelb
April 13th admitted to the hospital for one week they only gave hime iv fluids for 24hours recommended hospice when to rehab for physical therapy and woundcare from April 21- May 5...developed a UTI and pneumonia they only gave iv fluids for 72 hours on May 5 to May 16th was transferred from the rehab to the Palliative Unit as of May 16 he is now home on Hospice....he is weighing around 146... he was 151lbs on May 5. This week well on Monday he did well with his dinner pureed meatloaf, mash potatoes, and greens.....As of the last 3days he is not harding eating and taking sips of water...this morning when I tried to feed him he actually held it all in his mouth and then spit it out...I really dont know what to do now....when I called into hospice they said don't force him to eat or drink. okay I am not forcing him just trying to give him something. How long can a person go without eating or drinking enough to sustain... I am talking he is definitely down to about 400 cal for the whole entire day... will try pudding or applesauce and see what happens. He has never spit out his food before this is entirely new and I know the little he was getting now its down to nothing. I AM REALLY WORRIED NOW ...he cannot get iv fluids at home...on hospice where they wont allow him to get any iv fluids...NOT EATING????????????
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Originally posted by: pastrygirl
My dear,
This has to be the hardest part of the process. I remember it well with mom; the panic, the terror.
You certainly can call Hospice if you feel frightened and they should, at the very least, speak with you and counsel you on the phone.
I will share with you my experience with mom.
She did the same thing. First, held her lips tightly shut. We could barely get anything into her mouth. Then she started "cheeking" her food; the not swallowing was very scary as she was bedridden and we were so very terrified she would choke. For about one week, she would only take in maybe four ounces of fluid and solid combined. Her IV fluids had been discontinued.
When she could no longer swallow and it was obvious that she did not want food or fluid in her mouth, we just sponged water on her lips or gave her a small sponge to suck on. Eventually, she stopped doing that as well.
As another poster said, everyone is different. Mom had a UTI that would not quit and had fallen so many times prior to all of this. She was in very, very bad shape. But from the time all nutrition stopped, it took 8 days for her to pass.
According to our wonderful Hospice nurses, even the smallest intake of fluid or food will sustain them. We wondered, just like you, how it was possible for her to go on with so little nourishment. Somehow, they do. Although, in my humble opinion, that is not necessarily a good thing.
My heart goes out to you. Try calling your hospice nurse.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
angelb, I am sorry that your Dh is in this part of the journey. It's scary to watch, but it's all part of the process.
I will say, this is the first meal that he's actually refused food, so don't panic. He may accept food next time. As you have seen over the last couple of months his body needs less and less. Again, just part of the journey. As for how long a body can go without, that is so hard to say. It's up to your DH's body. We can't force food or water into them.
Again, don't panic! It's only the first meal he's completely refused. He truly may just be ready to rest!
Will Hospice be coming in today?
Thoughts and Prayers!
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Originally posted by: Rkg
angelb, Hospice doesn't come out on weekends? Why not? Hmmmm, I agree with pastrygirl, call them!
I understand to watch them deteriorate before you is tough, But it's all part of the passing process. Most likely he's just starting to slow to that pace. I think if Hospice would have thought he was passing this weekend, they would have had someone there with him.
Do you have family and friends near by? Why don't you call them to come and be with you. It always helps to have others around to keep us calm. Your in my Thoughts and Prayers!
Great suggestion about the moisture sponges. Ask Hospice to bring some to you. Keep his mouth moist as you can, your probably not going to be able to get large amounts of fluids in him. A few tablespoons at a time are actually good. Even a few tablespoons of applesauce are good too! Just try every few hours to get him to eat a little more. Your doing great! I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are! Hang in there.........
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Originally posted by: angelb
This is not the first meal he refused...just the first one to spit out of his mouth. Before he would just lock his mouth and teeth so I can't put anything in.
Hospice doesn't come on weekends.
I did get a couple teaspoons of applesauce in him and he took an ounce of thickened iced tea.
I just know 1teaspoon here and there and sips of this and that is just not enough.
He looks so weak and frail and he has that look on his face eventhough he is conscious and eyes open...he just looks as if he is really dying before my eyes ...not to say its today but he just doesn't look good at all. He is bedridden now and very very thin. He is 6foot6in used to weigh between 245 and 260 and now around 146lbs...
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Originally posted by: angelb
forgot to answer the ensure question ....I have tried and have everything you can think of but when you try to give him something to drink whether right out of the bottle, a straw and I have even tried putting it on a spoon...he will only take an ounce or 2 and that is it, just enough to wet his tongue.
They increased his megace to 400mg a day..hospice wants to try decadron to help with appetite also.
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Originally posted by: shearbear
This is a difficult time for you both. I feel your pain and heartache. My prayers and thoughts are with you both during this time.
Hugs and sending you lots of love and comfort.
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Originally posted by: Starling
If your husband is refusing food, don't force feed him. But do call hospice and tell them what is happening. Hospice might not normally come to you on weekends, but refusing food is a symptom some of the time, of the end stages.
It isn't a symptom of it all the time, but it is one of the symptoms some of the time. Someone who knows what they are looking at needs to make an assessment and tell you what is going on.
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Originally posted by: Rkg
angelb, We haven't heard from you, just wondering how it's going. Please do check in and let us know.
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Originally posted by: JAB
Hi, angelb. You are right, there's a difference between offering and forcing. Perhaps your husband is choosing not to eat -- is rejecting the food. Then again, perhaps he simply is having trouble swallowing. There are a number of things you can try, to encourage him to swallow.
Talk to him, about how good food is, any special foods he used to love, etc, and also give him verbal clues about what to do. Sing to him.
Slow down. He may not be ready yet for the next bite. You may need to feed him small bites very slowly. Watch for his throat (larynx) to move up and down so that you know he has swallowed before giving another bite.
Sometimes, if he has trouble swallowing, gently stroking the throat may help get him started.
Try getting the bottom of the spoon really cold, and rubbing it across his tongue.
Try foods and liquids at different temperatures, and see if he responds differently to those that are colder, at room temperature, or warmer.
Sometimes a a slightly sour taste (eg lemon) will trigger the swallowing reflex.
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Originally posted by: JAB
Angelb, thank you for the update. It's wonderful to know your husband has been eating better! I know how you hang over every mouthful.
Weighing him on a scale may be difficult, perhaps even a little dangerous. Is it really worthwhile doing that? Plus overall weight can be misleading, if the loved one is retaining fluids.
Some doctors use measurements of the upper arm and thigh to tell whether a bed-bound loved one is gaining or losing weight. Perhaps hospice could show you how to do that, instead.
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Originally posted by: angelb
the last couple of days he has been doing ok eating....and drinking. I am rying not to get too excited because he goes back and forth so much. He does look actually thinner..but since he is no longer walking I cannot get him up on a scale. I will try using the hoyer lift tomorrow, the VA delivered it here for him. He is eating a small amount...but it is way more than last week. I will keep you posted
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Originally posted by: Christy1117
my grandma came home from a rehab/nursing home not eating the Ensure she liked we have her eating 3 small meals aday. I played a game by putting the food on a large plate to trick her into thinking she was not eating alot.
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