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    Shellybell | Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum

    It is so amazing how each individual handles their illness.  My H does get sad because he knows he cant remember things and requires help with most everything. But he has never turned away from me when I help him. I have no difficulty in giving him his meds, yes I do have to crush a few because he just cant swallow them. He cannot even reach for a kleenex or get himself a glass of water. No idea where the refrig is except on his night raids. About the only thing he is capable of is shaving.  He's real cute about it and says he doesnt remember, but once I place the shaver next to his face he wants me to continue.  I dont do that and we laugh. He gets the hang of it and anything he is able to accomplish I want him to do. His care is all consuming but the fact that he is pleasant about it, makes it easier. Driving was never an issue, he has no interest and is happy to be chauffered. I call him my spoiled baby.  We have our moments that's for sure when he can be unpleasant; but the good outweighs the bad.  Until my next meltdown. Yes, I am always on edge because he can be very destructive without realizing what he is doing.  Anytime after 2AM is when damage occurs.   I feel blessed that he remains a gentle giant to me and at the same time cursed because of what it's done to our lives.

  • onestep

    Kazoo123 | Caregivers Forum

    Johanna, I surely don't want to be accused of spreading a 'ridiculous old saw' if it is false.  For the record, that information about pneumonia being a relatively peaceful and fast way to die came from the PDF "Hard Choices" which was last updated in 2001 and written by a chaplain who worked in hospice.  I found that an excellent reference overall and it has been recommended on this board.I believe the author was referring to people who are close to dying, but then this thread is about 'end stage' decisions.The comfort care choice on the POLST states no antibiotics, and I assumed hospice had the same policy for end stage patients. Anyway, I apologize if that information is not true.  I do try to be accurate, but I am not an expert by any means.

  • onestep

    Jim Broede | Musings

    The ability to make something. Meaningful. Out of nothing. Merely by using one’s imagination. That’s a gift. A blessing. Maybe that’s the essence…or the secret…of the good life.  Makes one a creator. Yes, a god, of sorts. Life ain’t hum-drum. That’s for sure. I try to give free rein. To imagination. A trivial event. Suddenly becomes profound. Awe-inspiring.  A sound. A smile. A sunset. That’s all it takes. To make one’s day. –Jim

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Activities to do together? by jace47

quoteI’m always looking for activities I can do with mom so I can help her feel involved. One thing that works well is folding towels and clothes (there’s a never-ending supply!). I also have her tear lettuce and snap green beans – things that she can do by touch. None of it has to be perfect, and it passes the time.

3420 people say this is good advice

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