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Just need to talk to my friends (213)
Morning, welcome to December! Carl and Ron, it's 32 here, mostly drizzle but it's icy in Tulsa and snow North of there. Lots of accidents and backups in Tulsa. If you get out today, please be careful. I have no plans to be out, maybe on the front porch to feed the birds. I saw a few on the porch looking for food yesterday.…
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New
Hello, I am new to this site. I have just now felt the need to reach out for support. I have been telling my wife that the presents are not to be opened till Christmas. Well, she opened hers and her son's Christmas Eve. I was so disappointed. A few years ago, while we were in Michigan, my wife was given depression pills.…
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An even sadder Day
I'm back home, sadly, Donna didn't make it. Due to there being no traffic I got to the hospital an hour before her pickup time (better early than late). When they brought her to me she was crying but I calmed her down by telling her she be home with Jazzy soon. Then we took a short walk, about 100 feet, to the car. Half…
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No Time For Grieving
My heart is broken. My Mom passed away a week ago and she was my rock. She couldn’t help me physically with my DH who has Parkinson’s/dementia but she was always there to talk and keep me sane. Now she’s gone and I want to crawl up in a ball and just grieve but I can’t because all the things we do for our spouses still…
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Alone This Holiday?
I am just curious how many others of you are spending holidays alone. Our children’s rotation is to in-laws this year. We normally get an invitation from friends to at least one holiday gathering but no invitations this year. I can’t help but conclude that it is because we are becoming more and more isolated because of…
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I’m puzzled
My love is alzheimer type. In 2021 I went to see his cousin and sister to visit and kind of tell them you have a few years left to get in touch with him. Cousin never called again even for his birthday and his sister once or twice a year. A day late for his birthday. I wished they would have called him once a month. 2…
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“Fiblets”
I am having a very difficult time lying to my husband who has dementia! I have always been that person who people could trust and know I would be honest! But now I find I am being dishonest and lying to my husband. I just want to tell him he is not allowed to drive anymore and it’s not safe and that his beloved truck is in…
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Crying out of nowhere.
It’s funny how certain things will trigger our emotions. My DW and I were sitting comfortably in our recliners last night listening to Christmas music. We were both enjoying the time and then came an Elvis Christmas song “Santa bring my baby back to me”. Out of nowhere I just lost it and started weeping.
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At peace
My DH is at peace. I held his hand as he took his last breaths listening to Chopin and the Lords Prayer at 3am this morning in bed at home. I am grateful that I was awake to say “I love you” as he took his final breaths. The end came quickly after he lost his ability to swallow any liquid three days ago. His last words to…
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New diagnosis
My husband had been diagnosed with moderate dementia/Alzheimers. He goes in for MRI the first of the year. He is only 69. He also was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia.
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DH is going to MC and I am not OK
I’ve been quiet for a while and my DH has gotten much worse in the past 6 months after having back surgery and spine injections without any pain relief. Naturally, this along with the pain pills have caused him to go downhill. He is solidly in stage 6 of vascular dementia (eight years into this journey). Our grown kids had…
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Hospital to Rehap = Late Stage of Alzheimer's
My DH was taken to the hospital where he was discovered to have fluid in his lungs. While being treated for 5 days he caught the flu there. He walked into the hospital and could clearly be understood. After spending 3 weeks there and losing 22 pounds he was transferred to rehap. Now he does not walk, can barely speak and…
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Problems with aides because DH is a difficult patient
Today I went in earlier than usual to visit my DH in a SNF. I waited in the hall while the hospice aide and SNF aide washed and changed my DH. Here and there I could hear him yelling and calling the hospice aide a b*tch. In the meantime, a maintenance worker, who didn't see me, went into the room and said, "mind if I join…
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Minor illnesses
I’m finding it challenging when I get a bad cold, flu etc and don’t feel like doing all the meals and other household duties. I get very upset because I just can’t do it all when I’m sick. Luckily it’s not very often.
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Hospice for Alzheimer's
I think I have read here about people who have had their loved one receive hospice care paid by Medicaid even if they were not judged with less than 6 months to live. Did I read correctly? As Medicaid is a federal program, I don't understand that "exceptions" would be made, so how is this handled? Does the doctor lead the…
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What do I do?
I am not sure where to start… I waited a year for DH to have an MRI. The results mention the word dementia but all the other medical language concludes with “not significant “ . We have not seen the neurologist yet. That is two months away. His behaviors continue to be concerning. He didn’t know how to use a credit card at…
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I've been sick. Now depressed and worried.
Right before Thanksgiving, a virus was going around DH MC and he got it. So did I. We both got pneumonia. This is the second time I have gotten pneumonia this year and it is really taking me down. My energy and strength are low and I am still coughing. On top of that, I have been having trouble with my legs. They tingle…
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Speech returned/skilled nursing question
DH I think is stage 7. He was hospitalized and has been on geti/psych for 5 weeks. Before going to Geri/psych he was down to just a few words. Now he talks non stop! Some words I understand but the stories I don’t. He has behavior problems and now can’t walk (was walking prior to Geri/psych), but lack of him cooperating…
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FTD Any signals that the Mood is changing?
My husband has a diagnosis of FTD, but we haven’t seen many symptoms until recently. For you experts, are you aware of any signals that the FTD patient is experiencing a mood swing? I just observed my DH go from happy, loving to cranky. I noticed that he was sitting alone in the bedroom, looking at his feet. I wanted to…
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Constant Motion
My DW has moved from sundowners to near constant motion. The last two months have really been something. I'm not sure she had more than 5 hours sleep most nights, sometimes going over 24 hours without sleep and no loss in movement energy. Earlier she was much more agitated and then it shifted to general aimless wandering.…
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Grief
·onpstordSei2 f40m :M5 mtfA29m1s01mg3m5m77ittg3actA9u0i5u3at · Jim Carrey once said: Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided. In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never…
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Hope or Cope?
We finally got an "official" diagnosis on Monday - "amnestic MCI with concern for Alzheimer's." DH's next steps are a PET Scan, bloodwork, and another MRI. Now, I just keep swaying between hope for a "cure" (improvement) and acceptance of the diagnosis. Do we fight the disease or do we learn how to live with it? I…
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PPA Semantic variant Swallowing issues
DH has been diagnosed with FTD/ Primary Progressive Aphasia/Semantic variant. He has had 2 tests so far due to trouble swallowing. They have determined it is caused by the muscles in his throat not working in the way they should to move food down during swallowing. I know this is a possible complication as the disease…
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Asking for tips on how to get LO to drink lots of water for radiation
My LO w/dementia is about to start radiation for prostate cancer. He remembers that he had surgery 5 years ago, so doesn't understand why he needs radiation now. He will need to drink 25 oz of water in 10 minutes before radiation, and it's a struggle to get him to drink that much in an entire day. I got the okay for him to…
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donepezil
My HWD has been taking donepezil for over a year…he refused to take it over the weekend because he said that his dr told him to stop (not true) and that I didn't know what I was talking about and was trying to poison him. I messaged our doctor (unfortunat
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In Home care
I had in home care through an agency three days a week while I was at work but our caregiver left to work somewhere else so the agency lined us with a new one after a few no shows. Anyway, it was not a good fit. Resulted in the police being called, my DH was aggressive towards her and left the house walking towards the…
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Concern about potential surgery
My DW has a condition that may require a hysterectomy or other type of surgery to correct a pelvic prolapse. I'm terrified that the surgery may accelerate her decline. To this point, nearly 5 years, she has done very well. We are still having a good life and she is happy as am I, although I live every day if fear of the…
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A series of changes and more isolation for me as sole caregiver
This is just me expressing feelings the only way I can right now. This week has been challenging. My husband's Medicaid application was approved, but the part that funds home and community based services is still pending. I applied in August, and I was told that it will probably be February before we actually get any…
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I'm a widow now
My DH passed away 12/10/25 at a hospice house. Thank you to everyone on this message board for your advice and caring support.
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DW probably needs surgery
I have posted before about this but, I am terrified about my DW having surgery. She's probably about mid stage 4 and still doing pretty well. It appears that she may need a surgery. There are two options. One would require about a 4 hour surgery and the other likely more like 2 hours. I'm so concerened about how this might…