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Need ideas on keeping the bed dry
Posted: Thursday, August 23, 2012 12:31 PM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

I'm hoping your fabulous minds can help me! My FIL is incontinent (rarely even uses the toilet anymore even when asked if he needs to go.) I don't think he knows he's going anymore.

I'm having a really hard time keeping the bed dry. He sleeps in a king size bed that he's has for years. He has several blown disks in his lower back so the mattress he has is necessary (just wish the bed wasn't so big.) I have a plastic lined mattress protector on the mattress, a large size hospital pad over that under the fitted sheet, and a large one on top of the fitted sheet. 

The problem is he likes to cover up with the one on top of the fitted sheet. I've been doing two loads of sheets (plus the comforter) a day for I don't know how long. He wears the depends briefs for men. I tried the adjustable kind one night because they looked more absorbent but he slipped out of them on the side. 

Any suggestions?
Posted: Thursday, August 23, 2012 2:17 PM
Joined: 1/23/2012
Posts: 2270

You and your washing machine must be exhausted! Wish I had suggestions (I use old plastic/flannel back tablecloths as bed liners, since they are big and cheap), but it doesn't help with your comforter and sheet issues. Hope others have good ideas for you - I just have sympathy!


Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 2:42 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 319

We had a giggle over the "Oops Sheet" a few months ago on these boards. 

It's a sheet that feels like a regular fitted sheet but it's waterproof on the back. 

It won't keep you from doing the laundry, but it may help you from doing so many pads and things to soak it up.  My best suggestion is to get a smaller bed. yeesh! 

does he sleep in pajamas? you can put the depends on and then get the buck and buck onesies that zip up the back so he cant slip out during the night. those should help keep the depends in place. Also If I were you I'd be duct taping the sides of the depends and cutting him out in the morning just to keep them on and absorbing. It sounds like a lot of work but probably less than all that laundry. good luck!!! 

Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 8:18 AM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

Nora - Thank you, yes my washing machine and I are both exhausted! 

sharkey- Where can you get these "Oops sheets"? They would make life much easier! He does sleep in pajamas so that adds to the laundry. I just wash them in color safe bleach and detergent along with the darker bedding to save on water, electricity and gas (dryer.) I don't think he'd go for the zip up pj's. As far as taping the depends on, the area he's slipping out of is the groin area so I'm not sure how to duct tape that, lol! I guess I should have been more specific in my original post. 

I wish he would go for a smaller bed. Right now he's quite adamant about keeping the one he has. Another problem is it doesn't have a regular frame. He has a solid wood frame under the mattress (no slats). Taking it out is going to be difficult. I'm dreading it!
Johanna C.
Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 8:45 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10877

Oh gosh, I am so sorry for what is happening and can understand what this means in labor, cost for utilities, and your poor back!


You know, I have thought about this backward and forward, and no matter which way I go, I don't think there is an easy solution and much of this has to do with the sheer size of the bed.


I think that is the tipping point.  If this challenge is to be more easily met, it seems as though replacing the bed may be the key to gaining an upper hand in even a small way.


There will still be the issue of the needed changes, so I hope someone has a very good solution.


In my mother's case, we used the adult diaper of thickest protection and also inserted a special thick pad that was long and wide and especially made to reinforce adult diapers for nighttime needs.  I am sorry to say I don't recall the name or manufacturer, but we mail-ordered these.  You may want to Google search mail order incontinence supplies and then on the sites, key in; "extra nighttime protection" and see what comes up.


Also, when you can, do Google Buck and Buck.  They have adaptive clothing for men and women you wouldn't believe - marvelous.  I do not like the online site, it just doesn't do  their products justice.  For far better and far more everything, call their contact number and ask for their catalog.


Huge amount of high quality product, catalog and goods usually mailed out within 24 hours.  They will alter hem lengths and put names on the inside of clothing at no additional cost.  Return policies with refund hugely generous even if article has been altered.  Large amount of choices including shoes, socks, slippers for troubled feet, etc.  You will be impressed.


Anyway, I so hope someone can give more information that will be able to solve this; but since even a sheet with protective backing is available, you still have sheets and pajamas that are soaked, so I think getting nighttime protection that works may be best.  And . . . . can he be woken during the night to use the bathroom?  Oh, not such a good question as that makes it difficult for you and also interrupts his sleep cycle.


I wish we had evolved a bit more efficiently so we didn't leak; ah, well.


Johanna C.

Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 10:53 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 319

here ya go! 


looks like it only goes up to a queen size :/

the company is geared toward bedwetting children, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to write them and ask if they can do a custom king size. 

Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 11:56 AM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

Thank you Johanna and sharkey!

I jumped on Google chat with my husband and I think we've solved the bed problem. We can't afford to buy him a new one at the moment but we can switch our queen for his king. That would simplify things somewhat. Plus we could get an Oops sheet to fit it

I googled "mail order incontinence supplies" and talked online with a representative. She pointed me to the most absorbent underwear they had: Tranquility overnight underwear. Quite expensive but will be well worth it in the long run. Their sizes may be a problem. He runs between their small and medium in waist size and weight so I'm not sure which one to order. His waist is a 22" which is a small and he weighs 132 lbs, which is a medium. Has anyone else had this problem? Which size should I get?

I'm still planning on getting him the inserts. Thanks so much for that suggestion, Johanna! Fixing to check out Buck and Buck now. 

Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 12:05 PM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

...and catalog is ordered. 


Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 2:45 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18507

I did not understand about the mattress but how about getting two twins....putting them together....get a third "baby mattress protector" to put on top of him. Then a twin micro fiber blanket. Very soft and easy to wash.


Are you really wahing a king comforter every day? Mine has been in the back of the car for two weeks waiting to go to the commercial machine. Too big to wash at home.



Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 3:02 PM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

We're going to swap our queen for his king so he has a smaller bed. Unfortunately, yes. I wash his comforter every day. I'm lucky it's a thin one that fits in the washer.
Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 8:04 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4110

I haven't read the bottle in ages but years ago before mom had AD my neighbor recommend Hexol.  I put a drop in the wash; i think it is anti bacterial, along with the deterrrgent.
Posted: Friday, August 24, 2012 8:16 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 319

Also, just for handy reference, here's an article on different natural additives for the laundry if you need to disinfect:

LOL Bela, you beat me for disinfecting - we were both thinking the same thing at the same time  

Johanna C.
Posted: Saturday, August 25, 2012 12:54 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10877

So glad you found the Tranquility supplies and hope they are successful.   You could contact the companiy and ask for a sample of each size and they will send them to you to try; but I don't think you want to wait that long.


Do the packages have a hip measurement listed too?  I would fit for waist and hip.  There may be small packages of the product at some of the drugstores or even WalMart - you may want to check it out. 


I ended up fitting my Mom for waist size and it worked out.  But each person's anatomy is different and that is where the guessing game begins.


Glad the queen bed is an option.   That will make management better. 


My mother was also in a pickle with similar problems and her bed was no longer an effective situation.  She had some back problems and occasional shortness of breath, so I asked and the doctor wrote the order for an electric hospital bed as he was able to document medical necessity for Medicare to cover it.  (She needed for the head of the bed to be raised, etc.)  Mom was also not ambulatory and needed a wheelchair, so that was part of it.


I had a soft pad for the bed to make it more comfortable but found regular twin sheets did not fit well despite being told they would.  I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought extra long twin sheets and they worked great.


Mom was able to be changed and administered to much more easily and making the bed was a snap because it could be raised and lowered - a blessing for saving one's back.


In any case, I am hoping that the new supplies will do the trick, here's hoping.


Johanna C.


Posted: Saturday, August 25, 2012 3:39 PM
Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 1736

I went to Amazon and bought a number of Priva Ultra Plus Waterproof Sheet Protector, 34" x 52", White. and a couple of 34x34 (?) size. I use one or more to cover and protect the bed. I like being able to remove a small protector and not having to cope this full size ones. When the sheets are in the wash just a protector works since the padding is soft and confortable. Washing is also easier with small sizes.


Posted: Saturday, August 25, 2012 6:37 PM
Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 16

I had a similar problem with Husband,82 wetting the bed and pads etc.  I now put him to bed with a depends and a liner that I buy.  It is called Tranquility Topliner Super-Plus Booster Contours...they absorb as much as 28oz. They really keep him dry throughout the night, and that is 9pm to 7am.


I buy them by the case, 4packs of 12, for $38 plus shipping...I get them from


Believe me, I used to have to change the bed etc. in the middle of the night, and yes, we have a queen size bed, but I haven't had to wash the bedding other than the usual weekly laundry.  I use a 3x4ft. pad on top of the sheets; however, that too for the most part stays dry. I'm a retired nurse, and I've tried quite a few things to keep from having to do laundry every day, and I can truly day that these liners inside the depends has been the best solution...I sleep soundly thru the night because I know he is dry.


Be sure and get the liners that hold 28oz...line his depends overlapping in front and back by an inch maybe and the depends holds it in place.  I only use these liners at bedtime only, and I use cheaper liners that are 30/pack for $10.  These I buy at the supermarket...they have elastic/button attachments, but I don't use those, I just line his depends during the day, and instead of changing all his clothes, I just whip out the wet liner and pop in a new one, saves me undressing him and laundry.


Good luck!

Posted: Monday, August 27, 2012 7:52 PM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

Thank you Bam!

That's the best buy I've seen yet. All of you have been so helpful! You don't know how much it's appreciated.

My stepmother sent some supplies that were left over from caring for my dad. In the package was a pack of Boost inserts. I've used them the past two nights and my FIL has stayed dry

I cried my eyes out when I got my dad's supplies. Memories flooded back, especially when I picked up his hand made bib he used to wear when he had a hard time eating. Sad thing is, I know it's going to be used again.

Again, thank you all so much for your help.
Posted: Tuesday, August 28, 2012 6:42 AM
Joined: 8/27/2012
Posts: 1

Sounds like you're doing all that can be done. I had the same problems and had to end up getting a hospital bed for my wife. I still have to do lots of laundry but it is much easier to keep her changed and she is more comfortable I think. I know that some of the depends are better than others. I tried several different ones and sometimes they work ok and sometimes they don't. I change her at least every two hours and that helps.


Good luck


Posted: Tuesday, August 28, 2012 7:10 AM
Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 191

Thank you tonyb and a warm welcome to the site. You sound like a wonderful husband. Your wife is blessed to have you.

Posted: Friday, November 8, 2019 4:51 PM
Joined: 4/3/2017
Posts: 3

**New to needing absorbent underwear for Mom.

We've told her they are "beautiful, special underwear" and she does not object to wearing either daytime or max absorbency nighttime versions of Depends. She does object when we toss the soaked ones into the waste can! "Don't throw away my favorite panties!" We assure her we are simply going to wash them...

The newest problem is that she has fixated on the padding inside the panty, thinking it is a "Modess" pad and she tries to remove it. (You may remember this brand of sanitary napkin worn with a sanitary belt.) Last night, she was successful pulling it out. Oh, my. You can imagine the mess.

There is a motion alarm that sounds next to the bed in the caregiver's nearby bedroom when Mom gets out of bed (having carefully moved her walker aside so as to be quiet and not wake the caregiver). Mom is so fast, we never make it into her room before she is on the toilet. Last night, I must have been very deeply asleep because I did not hear the alarm. I must've heard the alarm sound a few minutes later, though. When I went into check, she was in bed. I thought that strange...

Next trip to the potty (of which there are several every night), I brought her walker from beside the bed as usual to wait while she finished urinating. I noticed the shell of her nighttime Depends on the counter, sans padding. Stupidly, I asked, "Why are these panties here?" She said, "They "shredded." When finished, she pulled up the Depends she was wearing, I saw they were the daytime version we always leave on the counter for putting on in the morning. She had put them on backwards. 

I have installed another motion sensor in the bathroom so I can catch her while she's there, because it is a huge worry to have all that padding, hydrogels, plus the plastic shield, go down through the septic system! Any ideas on how we can discourage her from ripping the insides out of the Depends?

Thanks for any suggestions!


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Friday, November 8, 2019 7:13 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3189

I am not sure if this would work but I would spray the comforter with two coats of scotch guard. I would think that would stop it from absorbing and moisture and may it easy to just wipe off. 

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