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Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum
God is in control....even when we don't like His answer
Back at you, Quits,
He keeps me going....Matt 11:28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. 30 "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
"God bless us, every one." quote from Tiny Tim, Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Remember, we're all in the same boat; and the darn thing leaks!
Jeremiah 29:10-11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall you call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me and I will harken unto you. (KJV) Another translation says that God knows the plans that he has for us for a future and to bring us hope. It is kind of hard to think that years ago when we were born that God was already planning for us to be in this place and that we have a place to go to to pray and know that he is there. My one sister told me that she thought God created me to be in this position because he knew I would be able to handle it. (Of course I didn't think so. lol)
The days that the anger flares and is there all day are the rough days and I am not sure I can handle it, but His grace has gotten me through it. Yesterday was a rough day. He woke up in a strange mood and soon became angry. Needless to say we did not make it to church. By bedtime he had calmed down again.
I saw a funny cartoon on Facebook about the footprints poem....one set of footprints I carried you.........next picture had drag marks, "It was here I dragged you for a while" I feel dragged sometimes but at least God still has His hands on me....lol.
Love the dragging--hey, I would rather be dragged out of a battle zone than left on the field to die. So if you cannot carry me, drag away - at least we know God will never abandon us!
I am reminded of the quote, "All prayers are answered....sometimes the answer is No." And sometimes we may feel like we are being dragged over that mine field, but at least we know Who is pulling us to safety. Hallelujah!
Esther, Ruth, Joseph and Mary...Jesus, the ultimate sufferer, who am I to complain about the calling God has for my life....but my human nature screams sometimes "You want me to do What NOW?" God always sees me through and loves me anyway and grows me even painfully slow until I get it. How many times have you heard "You are such a good wife/husband/partner! I would have left long ago, I couldn't do what you do every day. God bless your heart!" I made vows before God and the man I married. For better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health.
It could be me with this illness and he could be there or he could leave me, it doesn't matter. I KNOW this is where God wants me But I have also learned through grief couseling that I am going to have to work hard...sometimes harder than I am taking care of him to take care of ME. Not in a selfish way but in a self loving, God's child, don't lose yourself to the disease while you are losing your loved one because one day they will be gone and you will have to still be here learning to live a new life.
I have been pushing myself to do things I want to do....most of them have to be things I can do with him in tow or in the house.
I took him on an overnight trip(usually nervewracking) to a town we had never been to a hot air balloon festival....because it mattered to me. I was 2 people away from a tethered balloon ride...God brought the wind and stopped the rides but I gained happiness knowing I will still try to ride one day....I loved the whole experience watching them air up their balloons and their flights......his opinion of the trip...."Can we go home now, what has gotten into you living your life on the edge, trying to kill yourself." Yes, Honey in a tethered balloon, life on the edge. LOL
I also wrote a short story and entered it in the Holiday Short Story contest this year. I did not win a money prize but I pushed me and gained confidence I can do it if I want to and his disease did NOT control me.
I encourage all of you, no matter how young or old to find joy, live for you in any small way you can and still care for your loved ones. God wants you to LIVE!
Jesus said "I have come that you would have life and have it more abundantly!"
Beautiful! Uplifted my saging heart today! Thank you!
What a beautiful day, the sky is gorgeous ! And the balloons....
I want to go too ! Up, up and away , in my beautiful balloon.
I'm curious about your name, "quits." why did you choose it?
My Dad, after having 3 girls, finally had a boy, my brother. Encouraged,
they tried again and I was born, the 4th girl. Daddy decided to call it quits.
Thankfully that's not the name Mama gave me.
Mama Sue, my name is LaQuita and Quits is my nickname for my family and close friends. My mom says it is ironic because when I am determined to do something I don't quit.
milmac111 I am glad I could bring the memory back for you and the day we saw the balloons was such a beautiful day. I have a facebook account with an albumn of the photos I took. Someday I will go up in one, God willing.
the campground in Maine called Natural High is only about 25 miles from our home in Sanbornville, NH- do you live in NH or Maine.
that campground went down hill and closed but now has new owners and it is nice again.
Hi Helen ~ We are in Massachusetts, but have spent many vacations in Maine, and most of New England. It is nice to know the campground is still there.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.
For the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not, I will help thee.
I was feeling overwhelmed with Christ's heart for every person and their loved ones posting on this site.....knowing there are so many more that don't use this support system. God is faithful, HE KNOWS you each by name and LOVES you and He is there holding your hand, helping you.
This thread has been so inspiring, lifting my spirits when we have had
yucky viruses and felt so badly.
I remembered that my favorite hymn has always been, "HE Keeps Me
Singing" I love to sing , kind of take it for granted. But this virus has
taken my singing voice away ( temporarily I'm sure ) I am hoarse and
it's frustrating to try to sing and nothing comes out. My husband's
voice is so low and gravelly it's frightening.
We bought ourselves a new Bose Music System for Christmas and just now
I heard my DH singing " Silent Night" with the music, in the sweetest voice not missing a single word.
I have NO idea where that voice came from cause he's still speaking in the same gravelly way. And I'm amazed that he remembered the words.
Thank you God for small blessings.
For all you old timers out there who like the older hymns as well as some of the new ones, here's something to brighten your day and take you for a walk down memory lane, "Leaning on the everlasting arms..."
You brought a most joyous end to my day.
LarryD that was so funny and uplifting, thank you!!!
Mama Sue I am praying for you and your husband's cold/virus and God is good to plant those song words in a part of your husband that disease could not take away,
to bless you today.
Oftentimes when visiting my DW (Dear Wife) at her MCH (Memory Care Home) I will bring up songs on my phone from YouTube. We will sing along to old hymns. She remembers the words better than I do and sings the tune extremely well, even though she is getting close to non-verbal in conversation. Singing brings an extra big smile to her face and eyes.
This is a wonderful thread. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all contributors.
I am not what happened to me
It is what I choose to become
this thread is amazing to me. Just to see what comfort you all get from your church and bible.
Down here in Australia we are, mostly, not so church motivated. It is not a major part of life as it seems to be in USA.
Don't get me wrong. There are churches and people do attend them but not so many as in your lovely country.
Maybe because we are so multicultural here. We do have many different types of churches and mosques and sometimes I think it is our migrant population who mostly attend.
Anyway, I love all the thoughts in this thread...
I do attend a church that I am still not a member of even though I have gone to the church off and on since my daughter was a baby and she is now 22.
Church is a wonderful place to gain support in illness and health.
I had a negative experience with humans(lol) in a different church and it makes me not want to join in the politics and business of running a church.
I attend Sunday School-sort of small group Bible study-with my husband.
The group shares prayer requests and we study a lesson together. It only lasts an hour and the group is aware of my husband's dementia/EOAD diagnosis. They are very accepting.
For several years after the negative experience I did not attend church on a regular basis but I did still read my Bible and continue my personal relationship with God-I believe that Jesus is God's son, born to virgin Mary and that Jesus died on the cross to pay for all of our sins. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was only 6 yrs old. My Daddy died of cancer when I was 9 yrs old and I clung to my faith in God/Jesus. It was very hard accepting that God would want my Daddy to die. Looking back I see that God has protected me and guided me even when I tried to rebel and live my own life as a young adult.
I encourage you(anyone reading this) to read the Bible with an open mind.
I can't imagine a day without God in my life. In fact, God told me in a premonition the man I would marry and it has been 26 years. I am not happy with my husband and his illness and I don't know why God chose this for us but I have been told it is because God knew 26 years ago that I would be faithful to my husband and not leave him in this disease alone.
I am so glad you and others are enjoying this thread! So am I and sorry if this is too long.