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Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum
Here a Pee, There a Pee, Everywhere a PeePee
Been there done that. It was not fun at all. Now he will not go to the bathroom, unless I keep on at him to go and that is hard because when I finally get him in the bathroom it is very hard to get him to get up and come out. He has been in there for six hours before setting doing nothing.( hard hard and getting harder).
Catlady, last night he had been awake for about 1/2 hr, the other times were during the day.
Oziemae, 6 hrs! I can't even imagine...did he just sit there? Did he finally just come out on his own? I guess at least you knew where he was and what he was doing.
Everyday is a new adventure.
Last week I was sitting in the den when my LO got up walked into the kitchen and peed on the little rug I keep in front of the sink! This is a first - he has been pretty good at going to the bathroom for this -- however, he has fecal accidents all the time. I went into our bathroom yesterday - and there it was in a big pile in the middle of the floor. Just don't understand this. He would never admit he did such a thing!!!!! Someone else hiding in the house must have done it!!!!
Fifteen minutes after I posted this - I went to the kitchen and he was trying to pee in a plastic bag - thank goodness I caught him in time and took him to the bathroom.
The toilet could actually be invisible to him if it's the same color as the walls, floor, nearby cupboards or tub, etc. It's part of visual agnosia problem.
Try getting a colored toilet seat -- I like the plastic ones, since they're more comfortable (not as hard or cold) and pretty inexpensive at many websites. Be sure to get a solid color, though, not a pattern -- our loved ones can find patterns confusing. A bright, contrasting color is best. If the color is too dark, it can appear to be a hole.
Another thing to try is colored water in the toilet.
Or maybe he's having trouble finding the bathroom itself -- could that be the problem? Put a sign on the door (TOILET, and/or a picture of one). If he's having trouble finding it at night, keep a nightlight lit in the bathroom, and a stripe of fluorescent tape or perhaps even have a trail of LED light strips leading from the bedroom to the bathroom.
pdrer, I bought several urinals and kept them in any room he was likely to visit, so one would be handy if I needed to grab it in an emergency. I also kept a towel or two nearby, to throw on the floor around his feet to catch what the urinal didn't and/or to keep him from slipping -- we have ceramic tile flooring throughout the house.
You might want to consider adaptive clothing that fastens in the back, so he can't get his depends off. It's a little drastic, true, but cleaning up urine puddles all over the house is, too. You can find high-quality adaptive clothing at Buck and Buck. They hem pants to length at no extra cost (name tags, too, for those of you with spouses in a facility), and have an amazing return policy.
I My husband has had the same problem but only after he's gone to sleep for the night and it's only happened about five or six times in the past six months. I think maybe the Aricept he takes at night may be the reason for his being in a daze. He also takes a pee pill at night...HA. Keeping a towel nearby is a good idea, so far he's only gone near the bed or in the bathroom but he was very close to the clothes closet so I was lucky to get him into the toilet before he went in there.
I am having my DH keep a bucket of water next to the toilet, trying to get him to completely empty his bladder. I remember when pts. couldn't go after surgery or delivery we'd put their hands in water or let the faucet run. I'm not sure he gets the reasoning, but when I explained it to him he seemed to get the major point. It seemed to do the trick. He sits longer on the toilet & said he went more with his hand in the water. And the best news is, he spent less time in the bathroom. He did empty the bucket a few times so I had to reinforce the need for it & that it was ok to sit there all day long in between BR visits. I know this isn't like peeing everywhere, but this seemed the best place to add this message.
SunnyCA's suggestion for keeping urinals on hand in each room sounds like a very good idea. I have one on hand just in case & I'd buy more if necessary. Also for extra towels, I've managed to pick some up at a discount store & at some estate sales (from people I know in town). Try to get all one color for easier laundry. dfh
Last night my DH went to the bathroom and sat down - without pulling down his bottoms or lifting the lid off the seat. Needless to say, here a pee, there a pee, ... and 11 PM laundry and floor scrubbing.
So, no more closing the lid on the toilet and also making more effort to ensure I go into the bathroom with him each time. Didn't see any humor in the situation last night, but this morning I can at least hum the tune 'everywhere a pee pee'.
Blessings to all of us. We need them!
Ray does that sometimes, too. I'll see him and say "pull down your pants" and that sometimes upsets him. Guess we can't win for losing. I have seen him pull down the Depends and then stand there and go in them instead of the stool. Sometimes I put on one of the kind that fastens around him with a Depends on top or a guard inside - that works pretty well.
We never know what the new day will bring, do we? Oh, did I mention that the nurse practitioner Tuesday says the VA now has the pullups? I think they're easier - I can never get the others tight enough.
I'm sorry ladies. It's not nice to laugh at other peoples' misery, but I needed a chuckle today. I had to laugh at pdrer's thankfulness that he didn't come over and pee on her. We should always be thankful for the good things.
To be up front, my wife didn't have those kind of problems but would just miss the toilet, or not get there in time, for both urine and bowels. If I didn't wake up in time at 4:30 AM she would come back to bed that way. Ewwww! I started to set the alarm for 4:15 and also got bed pads for under and over the sheets. Also started to use a draw sheet, I think it's called.
Now I let the Memory Care Home aides worry about it.
Remember, we're all in the same boat; and the darn thing leaks!
hey, bob everyone deserves a chuckle now and then, ithought when my youngest kid [eones ago] was potty trained , and my last pup ,[ not too long ago ] was housebroken, that i was done cleaning pee & poo, wrong again. my boat is sinking.
good thing i swim well, in water at least.stay strong
I have considered going to counseling or therapy. The amount of stress I have had the last 9 months since my sister died has been unbearable. It feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I have so many things that I have to take care of and the list is never ending. There are all my personal affairs, my business, and then all my fathers personal, medical, and financial stuff. And I have no help. Right after my sister died I had family members coming to me saying how they would do everything they could to help me with my dad. But now where are they? Not one of them is doing a single thing to help except telling me what they think I should do. I can't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep. The stress is non stop and I just can't get a break. It seems that the family members who offered all that help don't really give a sh** right now. I feel like a prisoner in my own home with no escape. My father is completely clueless about what he is doing. The sad thing is I'm getting to the point where I don't give a sh** either.
I haven't had to deal with this issue myself, but my grandfather started peeing in dresser drawers and on the floor of the bedroom. I think that was the point where my mother and grandmother decided it was time for him to go into a nursing home. I suspect that if Dawn starts doing things like that, I may well decide that the point has been reached and make arrangements with a nursing home too.
Good morning Mike,
I think you're doing a good thing in posting what you feel. That is a release for you. I feel that when I write down things,it gets it off my chest and it makes me feel better.
We've all been there, are there or will be there so we understand everything you're going through. I have used this forum so many times in the past two years for that purpose. Ray and I are alone - no relatives closeby and I'm, of course, the sole caregiver. We live in the country - so no close neighbors to rely on except one that I can call on if necessary. I don't unless it's an emergency. But, everyone here is a friend and understands so to them I vent, rant, rave, ask questions or whatever comes to mind. Someone is always here to listen and help in whatever way we can.
I have called the Alz. Org. a couple of times when Ray would walk away from the house. That's another good resource. Use all you have. If a place is available for you to get our of the house alone, do that, for a few minutes. I know you're a man and may not think crying is something a man should do, but it makes a woman feel better - so why wouldn't it make a man feel better, too. Yell at the top of your voice is you want to - what will it hurt? and it might help you. Anything to let off the steam - and sometimes there's plenty of that, right?
Post often and whenever you feel the need. We'll listen and try to help.
This topic is so timely, I hope nobody minds if I comment. I'm new to the website. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia in 2009. He is treated at the VA Hospital and is 77 years of age.
The first time I knew we had this problem, my husband used a beautiful red pot our daughter gave us for Christmas. It was sitting on the living room floor, half under an end table. It was too large to fit all the way underneath. The pot now sits outside on the front porch. It was washed well.
Since that episode of using the bathroom where ever the feeling struck - he has gone twice at the air conditioning closet - once inside and once outside. He went several times in our bedroom floor and another time pulled out a bureau drawer with my clothes inside and then peed on the front of the drawer.
He can still use the toilet but sometimes cannot hit the water. He will have urine on his legs and tops of his feet. I can tell him he needs to sit down on the commode but he is so used to standing that he won't listen.
The VA Hospital supplies us with 23" x 36" bed pads (plastic on one side, absorbent material on the other.) These are wonderful for covering the couch cushions where he sits and for covering/weighting down over fresh spots on the rug - before using the Spotbot for cleaning.
And the VA also now has the pull-up Depends type pant. They only supplied the tab sided pants at first, like a giant diaper. These are more manageable.
Hi, Ol' Doc, welcome to the forum!
We're delighted to have your input, any time you feel like chatting with us! And please feel free to start new topics of your own, any time you have questions, concerns, or just want to vent.
My DH is 66 and his Brain spec just came back as Alzhiemers. He is not at the peeing stage yet, thank goodness, but after reading everyone's posts, I've picked up some hints on how to handle it when and if it comes. Thank you for all your candid posts on what you are doing to make this problem bearable.