Loading discussion content. Please wait...
Spouse or Partner Caregiver Forum
Just need to talk to my friends(19)
Happy June to everyone,
Can you all believe it's already June - before we know it we'll be talking about how cold it is. But, the very hot and humid weather is yet to come - at least here.
This morning started off with a bang. I woke up before six and went out to see if Christy was okay - she is. Came back and fixed cat food, after I got it out of the car, and took a bottle or rather half a bottle of colostrum out to the new baby. She and her mom were still laying down. She took the half bottle after a bit of coaxing, then I tried the teat that I thought had colostrum yesterday but it was bloody this morning. I called the vet to talk with him about it and he said what came out yesterday may have been infection because it was so thick and maybe that's why the baby won't take that one. She did latch onto the one behind and stayed on a while so she must have been getting some milk. Didn't get to check the other two.
After I came back from seeing what I could of the girls - they were already in an inaccessible place for the CW so I'll have to assume they're okay, I was bringing the CW through the gate and heard a noise. The baby was going through the fence to the pasture where we have the hay. For some reason almost every calf we have out north of the house for a while manages to get through that fence. Leanne - you know little calves can just walk through fences - but getting them back through is a horse of a difference color. I didn't want to cut her back with the barbed wire so after many tries, got her down on the ground and pushed her through. Mom was right there trying to help. After all of that I was hot and exhausted so came in for a cup of hot tea and to start this new thread for June.
I did call my sister - wouldn't answer the cell phone but did finally answer her landline. She was very cool when I asked if she was already up. Then, when I asked how she was, she said "I'm surprised you even wanted to know" and hung up. I'll talk with her granddaughter in a little while and then call CIT. Don't know what else to do. Last night she told me she was so confused and even went across the street to ask the neighbors if they knew her. They got her back home and reassured her that was her house. I think she's sundowning.
I think, maybe if things work out all right, I'll take Stormy over to get his shots. Hopefully, this week I can get Sheena over to be spayed.
I'm relaxing right now for a bit, drinking my hot tea and getting ready for some chocolate cheerios.
Today's Lesley Jean's surgery - may already be having it. Hopefully, things will go well and her husband won't even notice she's been gone.
Hope all of you have a good Monday. I took the trash down last night and I'm always so glad on Monday morning that I've done that.
I'll be back later today. Leanne, didn't see a post from you yesterday - must have been really busy. I think you're going to get more rain this week - so no irrigating!
Welcome to kindly June who will keep us feeling happy springtime BUT - July lurks around the corner just waiting to hit us with the dog days of summer . . . I am always delightedly relieved when those three months, July thru September pass; the more "mature" I get, the less I tolerate the grinding heat of deep summer.
A whole lot of planting going on and so many ads coming out with short shorts, tank tops, bathing suits and flip-flops. Here we go . . . . .!
For some reason, I do not recall what surgical procedure LJ was having today, but I still send out my best wishes for the very best outcome and swift healing.
Glad to hear Lorita's newest "baby" is doing well and that the little calf got back inside the fence without any trauma. What a big job with a whole lot of effort.
Well; I am going on to see how our Katrinka is doing. She needs us and will not have a lot of time to come to the social thread, so we need to go to her.
Have a really good day,
Lorita...please be careful what hosp your sister goes to. Have you considered St Anthony South? I can look at some units for you.
Did you mean that your sister owns1/2 the farm where you live now?
I haven't seen a post yet from Lesley Jean - hope things went all right.
Jo C - I hate those same months - it's always so hot and humid here. When I was growing up I think the temperatures were higher but not as much humidity. At that time we only had one big pond and a little one in the hog pasture and there was no Lake Eufaula. Having four ponds and the lake fairly close has made a real difference. It was hot and humid today and the rest of the week is going to be worse.
jfkoc - doesn't look very promising that we'll even be able to get my sister into a hospital. I called CIT and before her granddaughter could get over there, they had been there and left. She told Sarah that they stayed five minutes and she sent them away. I called them and finally a man called me back and they said they couldn't make her go to the hospital even if she had said she'd commit suicide if she had to go back. She has to say that to them when they're there before they can do anything. I think she made a similar statement last November and that's what got her into the hospital. The man also called and talked with Sarah and he gave her a couple of numbers to call that might be able to help. I'm going to call, too. Also called and left a message for the case worker she had last year. Guess we'll have to go through them again - but if she doesn't want them to come in, they can't. So, looks like we're between a rock and a hard place.
Sarah stayed a while this afternoon with her and she said she was as mad as hops. It's kind of like having a restraining order - they don't do anything until something happens.
Leanne - sounds like you had a busy day - glad you got the lawns mowed before you get more rain. The weather today said it looked really rainy in Montana. I bet you're glad you won't have to bother with irrigating for a while - maybe you'll have rain every couple of weeks all summer and won't have to at all. We have had a few summers like that.
Our weatherman said today that there were 68 tornadoes in Oklahoma during May - this was more than usual, and only ten days when we didn't have rain. It's still really muddy around the barn but with a few days like today, it'll dry up fast.
I took Stormy over to get his first shot today. He's beginning to walk pretty good on a leash. He weighed 14 pounds today. I also got a pill for fleas and ticks for him that will last 30 days and one for Bella and Susie that'll last three months. I'll give them tomorrow.
One of the girls gave Stormy her shot but I saw the vet at the desk and talked to him about the cow. I bought a couple of syringes of medicine to put in Penny's teat. This afternoon I tried to milk it but only got a little stream that was still bloody looking. I can't milk it out - then would have to put the medicine in and milk her backwards (finally got that through my head). Would have to do that two days - no way. I don't think she has milk in either of the front teats - and not too much in the back ones. I gave the baby a bottle this evening and she took it readily plus half a bottle of colostrum this morning. I may just let Penny out and take care of the baby myself. It's hard having three cows up and trying to feed Dolly extra.
I took Sheena out for a walk this afternoon to check the girls instead of taking the CW. The cows aren't used to her yet and she's kind of afraid of them. She barked at the little calf this morning when she got close to the yard fence and scared her. I think she believes the little calves are dogs.
I'm really aggravated at the turn of events today. Angela, we were thinking of an assisted living center or memory care center when she was able to leave the hospital but it looks like she won't even get into the hospital. You know, we've always been on good terms even being ten years apart in age. She got married when I was five so she wasn't around much when I was growing up. After we got older we've become pretty good friends - except when she gets psychotic, then she says she's the big sister and I'm the little one and I can't tell her what to do. Says I'm nosy. Maybe I am but I'm just trying to help her. Leanne, it is like dealing with someone with AD. No reasoning at all.
Guess we'll see what happens tomorrow - probably nothing. I'm going to have to call the phone company and have someone come out and check them, I guess.
I'm going to try to post another picture of Stormy and a couple of the yucca we have blooming. The prickly pears are next to the yucca but so far not too many blooms. But when they do bloom they're beautiful - about the size of the top of a mug and bright yellow but they only last one day. I may post one that has Christy in it. She's the one who hasn't calved yet. Someone asked how many more to go - I think three or four - not sure.
Hope you all have a good night.
Roxy, I'm glad you're doing better and are going to get to make the trip to Michigan to visit your daughter. I think I'd probably be afraid to fly by myself. I've only made one trip by air and I enjoyed it but don't think I'd ever do it again. I know you'll really have a good time.
Today has not started off well. Last night at MN when I checked Christy (she's still okay) I didn't see Penny's baby anywhere. It was too dark to look for her then. This morning when I looked out to see Christy, I'm 99% sure I saw all three calves. I came back in, then went to check the cows, came back and had my juice. Then I fixed the cat's food and the calf's milk and went out. I couldn't find her anywhere. The two little boys were together in the carport. I didn't hear Sheena barking so I don't think that scared her. She barked at her yesterday and she ran as far as she could until she got to a fence. I fed the cats and then started looking for her. I can't find her anywhere and I can't get Penny to help. Normally, I can ask a cow where their baby is and they'll look in the right direction - not this morning. I've walked all around the hay and can't find her. There was a big dew so I looked anywhere I could see a disturbance in the dew. I looked up and down the road. It didn't look like anyone had gone through the fence but it might have bounced back. I looked all around the hay. The grass is so tall I could walk within 20 feet of her and not see her. Penny doesn't seem concerned at all. I should have put her in the lot when I saw her this morning but I thought she was with her mother and would be all right.
Years ago I startled a little calf and it ran half a mile, went through fences and disappeared. Charles looked for it for three days and then, all at once, it was in the pasture with it's mother. He probably walked within ten feet of it a dozen times. I don't know what else to do.
Same with my sister. I've left two messages with the APS Case Worker with no return call. So I called the main office and had to leave a message. I haven't talked with Sarah. I tried the numbers she gave me last night and one didn't answer and the other was the Police Dept. So, I don't know what else to do.
We do co-own the farm. It was an inheritance from our parents. They left it to Charles and I and my sister. She would never want to live on the farm or have anything to do with it. Is there a concern that maybe I should talk with a lawyer because of her condition? I've thought of that the last couple of days but she couldn't sell it or do anything without my signature, I don't think.
It seems like there's always something going on here that I'm having to deal with. I hate for that little calf to be laying somewhere in the grass. If Penny would only bawl and call her,she'd probably come because she is still nursing her. I can't drive the CW out around the hay - grass is too tall and I'm afraid if I drove close to her, it would spook her and she'd take off. I haven't look in the far back of the barn. The headgate was closed this morning so maybe she could have gone through there. I'll go look now but don't really think she'd have gone through there. Maybe after while, when she gets hungry or when it's mealtime, Penny will bawl and she'll come. I'd have though she'd have stayed with her mother or with the other two. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Guess I'll eat a bite, or not, and go look some more. Calves are out of creepfeed so will have to get into town for some this afternoon.
I'm back and I've cooled off but have been crying replying to Katrinka's thread about pneumonia. If you just sit on the porch in the shade with the wind blowing, it's wonderful weather but when you get out in tall grass, walking and looking, it gets hot fast.
I gave the calf half a bottle of milk and have her in the lot in the shade with her mother. I know I must have walked past her several times unless she moved. It was so hard to get her into the lot until I got her mom to go with us. I thought I was going to pass out before I got that done. Luckily, I did have my medical alert on, just in case. I'll keep her up and let her mother out. I don't think there's any milk or at least not enough.
I have an appointment with the lawyer Thursday at 10:30. Thanks for the nudge.
Nothing much came from the welfare check. Two officers went and talked with her and her granddaughter. I had called her and asked her to be there when they were there. She answered all of their questions except forgot her cat's name that she's had for 12 years. She didn't meet their criteria to take someone to the hospital. They offered to have APS come over and discuss some programs with her - she refused.
The only thing they suggested was that we go to court and get custody or guardianship or have someone move in with her. Sarah and I discussed that and she'd be willing to move in but we both know she'd get mad at her and then we'd not have anyone on the inside. I'll see what the lawyer might suggest when I see him Thursday.
We're afraid she'll get out in her car and forget where she lives or have a wreck and injure or kill herself and maybe someone else. Sarah's going back tomorrow. She's going to pick up a blank key and try to get her to let her drive her car to take her somewhere tomorrow - maybe to get Freon in the air conditioner, which it needs. Then she'll replace the car key with the blank key. At least that would keep her from driving.
Everything just seems so hard to get done. I've had a very trying and tiring morning so I think I'll take a nap. I'm only getting about six hours sleep at night and I think I need a little bit of additional time asleep. Writing about Charles' last days has just dredged everything up again. I think with that, the calf and the problems with my sister, I need to take the two pills a day consistently. I'll do that.
I'll be back later - maybe things will be calm for a while this afternoon. It's going to be time for the air conditioner before long. Welcome, Summer? Not my favorite season by a long shot.
Well, I started to take a nap and was listening to some of the Reiki music and the tablet beeped and woke me up. Battery was getting low. But I did rest.
Just got the baby - think I'll call her Trixie, into the stall and opened the door. It's cool in there and she has feed and water and maybe the flies won't bother her as much. She took another half bottle tonight. After all of that I was hot again - goodness, it is humid if you move around. It's hot in the house, too, even with the ceiling fans and floor fan on - guess it's summertime.
Sandy - I do love Nights in Rodanthe. Such a good movie. It's been on here for the last several days. I've seen it probably three times but may watch it again.
Sandymac - the book is better than the movie although it's wonderful. Message in a Bottle is also good.
Had a call from my friend in Muskogee. She had talked with Karen last night and said she sounded pretty good. Said she really doesn't now what lies ahead. Feel so sorry for her. It's been over five months since the accident and it doesn't seem like she's any better, maybe worse. I'll call her tomorrow night and kind of spread out the calls.
jfkoc - when I tried to get my sister's meds renewed, the pharmacy told me the doctor wouldn't do it unless she came in to see him. She's cancelled the last couple of appointments with him and I know she won't go back. But, then they tried to deliver them and she refused them. She doesn't have a DPOA. It sounds like guardianship is a lot of work that I don't feel up to taking on now. Sarah has the time but I'm not sure she'd want to do it. I hesitate to have an outsider do it, too. Thank you for the offer to look into places, again. She was in Integris SW in November and it seemed pretty good - at least they brought her out of the psychosis and she actually enjoyed being around all the people in there. She said she missed them when they were discharged.
I found the deed and wills so I'll take all of that to the lawyer and see if anything needs to be done. I never in my life thought it would come to this but I guess you never know what's ahead of you.
Just got the third or fourth tick off me since my stroll in the grass this morning. Surely don't want to do that again.
Leanne - I've been drinking water like crazy today but I always do. When it's so humid you can't even walk around without getting hot and sweaty. Sandymac, I don't think I'd mind a little bit of frost here right now. It's good that Ron enjoys going to the store with you and playing bowls. Charles always enjoyed shopping - never one time complained of the time I took or anything I bought.
You all should see Stormy tonight. He's been in the mud somewhere in the yard, probably trying to find a cool place. From his waist back he's muddy. Sandy, I used to use the liquid flea and tick stuff on the dogs - always ordered it from PetMeds but found I could get it cheaper at the vets. I think this will be easier but it is expensive. I haven't given it to them yet. I just took off their three month flea collars yesterday. They said it wouldn't hurt for them to wear the collars and have the medicine, too, but I want to be safe with them. I'll give it to them with their breakfast in the morning.
I ordered some stuff for fleas from Amazon. With all the cats, Leanne, I don't think I could do one of those bombs. I ordered some spray for the furniture and something called a flea trip. It has a light and a sticky area where the flea are supposed to congregate under the light and get stuck. The heat from the light is supposed to attract them. The reviews were good - so , we'll see. Need to figure out how to coordinate spraying the furniture and the cats at the same time.
I called APS three times today and never got a callback- can't believe that. The Police Officer who went out called me back and was very nice and understanding. Maybe I should just keep asking for welfare checks and they might catch her off guard. .
I'll probably check in later before bedtime. Seems like I can't keep away from here.
It's already getting warm here. The temperature now is almost as high as the high for the entire day was last week. They just said the weather pattern is going to change again next week and we'll have a chance of rain and cooler weather. Supposed to be in the low 90s by Friday and Saturday - first time since last October. I can now wear shoes to the barn instead of boots except one place right in the door is still muddy.
Guess I'd better clean the AC filters and get ready to use the ACs this week.
So far this morning, no crises. Stormy rode in the CW with me this morning to see the girls - he really enjoys that. Wonder if he'll want to ride in the CW when he gets grown? He knows his name and comes when I call him and is learning to walk on his leash. I bought a pretty turquoise colored collar for him at the vets but he's not wearing it. Remember I told you all how dirty he was late yesterday - clean as a whistle this morning. Sheena wants to play with him and gets a little bit rough and he screams and screams but stays with her. I've warned her that he'll be bigger than she is and she might be sorry.
No call from APS - I'll call them in a few minutes. I don't think I'll try to call my sister - just let her be. Sarah's going over today and will attempt to exchange a blank key for her car key. If anyone can, she can.
Trying to decide whether to go into town today for feed or wait until tomorrow and make one trip do it - probably the latter. I just hate to get ready to go two days in a row. Sometimes I wonder how in the world I got my makeup on and dressed for over 33 years every day and made it to work. Surely couldn't do it now. It's even hard to decide what to wear sometimes.
Does anyone have any more suggestions about questions I should ask the lawyer tomorrow? I know I want to find out about what would happen if she might have an accident and get sued - and since she does have dementia (well hidden sometimes) what needs to be done to protect the farm, and about Medicaid. I'm sure there's more. I haven't seen a lawyer in at least 40 years when we had our wills done which are now defunct since everyone mentioned in it except me has passed away.
I hope all of you are having a good Wednesday. Have any of you all every thought about the fact that when I first joined and a lot of you, too, several years ago almost all of the avatars were just the outline of a body. Now, they're all so pretty and we get to see what a lot of us look like.
Be back later. Wonder what Leanne's up to?
So they find you in the field unconscious.....who is going to make decisions for you? If something happens that would prohibit you from taking care of the farm what will happen. Stuff happens!!!
If your sister is not putting in any money for the farm expenses there is no reason to pay her 40% of the income. You may need that money for your own care.
Your sister owns 1/2 the farm...it is an asset. She is no longer rational...anything could happen and if it involves money you may have to deal with her daughter and/or granddaughter. You need to know what CAN happen
Ask and ye shall receive - I'm so grateful for all the suggestions. I've never had to deal with anything like this and have no idea where to start. The lawyer has been in Checotah for at least 45 years. Charles and I went to see him 40 years ago. He was a lawyer for years, then was a judge for some years and now back to being a lawyer - so he should know what to do. I have all the questions you all suggested ready to ask.
jfkoc - I never thought of something like that. Guess I'm like an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. If she didn't have dementia, there would be no problem. She is so angry at me for trying to help her - she considers it meddling.
The APS worker called today and they're going to reopen the case and have someone go out. I ask her if they could notify us when so her granddaughter could be there but it's a surprise visit. I called her tonight and when I said "hi", she hung up. I called back and she said some awful things. Later she called and said "you sent the police out again today and that's it". I didn't send them today - it was yesterday when she wouldn't answer the phone.
Joan - Stormy is growing by leaps and bounds. I have to ration his food so he won't outgrow his bones. The cow is Christy who is waiting to have her calf. She sometimes has trouble. When she had her first calf our vet said she just wasn't built to have calves. Since then, she's had a calf almost every year and lately by herself. I bet your flowers are growing fast - with the rain and the warm weather, everything seems to be - especially weeds. Hope you have a nice trip to see Harv and that everything is okay. We've had yucca for years - these are one I bought at Lowe's, probably, years ago. This year they had 7 or 8 spikes of flowers that feel like the southern magnolia. They're blooming now, too. We have one but it hasn't bloomed yet - don't know how old they have to be.
Leanne - it's been four days since Penny had her calf. Today she still hadn't passed all of the afterbirth. I tried to get some of it yesterday but it's so slick you can't hold on. This afternoon, it looked like it was gone but she kept humping up and trying to urinate or something. I called the vet and before he got here she was laying down like she was trying to calve, having contractions. We got her in the chute and there was still a lot of afterbirth in there - took him about ten minutes to get it all because it was in pieces. Put in three boluses and gave her an antibiotic shot. So glad I called him. Now, the good news plus having all of that done - she has three good teats! The one had closed up so much he couldn't even get the tiny tube in to put in medication. So, in the morning, she'll have her baby back. He laughed and said, "you don't even have a bottle baby now, do you?" I told him we should put a mark on the wall - that's what Charles always said.
I'm glad Zane is opening a small engine repair shop. There is great business for that, everywhere I imagine. I wish we had one in our little town. There is one in Checotah where I've taken things before. I bet he'll have so much business he can't get it all done - you may have to help.
I know after the long winter, all the animals are really enjoying the juicy, green grass. Our fescue is beginning to ripen and turn brownish.
Glad you got the weeding and spraying done. I haven't sprayed the cockleburs yet but I'm going to have to when things settle down a bit. They may be too big to kill already.
Surprising how much it's dried up. I even walked down the runway to the barn without wearing boots. It's still kind of muddy in front of the barn but the sun is doing it's job. Some people, our neighbor for one, are already baling hay. He has rye grass and was about to lose it. I imagine it'll be a long time before they can get into our meadow.
Glad you remembered your haircut appointment in time to get there. I started to make one to get my hair cut tomorrow but didn't get it done.
Darn, I hate all of this has come up. Dementia, as we all know, can cause all kinds of problems. What's the word for them not knowing something is wrong - agnosia? That's the sad part - people trying to help and them refusing to accept that anything si wrong.
I rested today but tomorrow will be busy. I'm watching "In the Kitchen with David" and they're using lots of sweet cherries - guess it's the season for them.
Okay, wish me luck tomorrow. Thanks, again, for all the wonderful suggestions. Sleep well.
Lorita...you have made my day. I will be eternally happy not having to deal with cow afterbirth...lol