Home Safety Checklist

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Posted: Tuesday, May 31, 2016 11:18 PM
Joined: 5/20/2016
Posts: 15

My dad is in staghe 6 of this dreadful desiese, and he has started to cry alot and get mad and pound on himself and asks why him.  What do we tell him?  Tonight was a pretty bad night.  He gets real argumentative.  I help my mom take care of him, but she takes the brunt of it.  He won't let anyone else help.  He thinks my brother is his friend, and I can't make my mom see that it is time for him to go to LTC.  Has anyone else had the crying?  Help!!!
Posted: Wednesday, June 1, 2016 12:14 AM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5213

Is your father under the care of a doctor? Is he on medication that will help with anxiety? The crying could be a result of changes/damage to parts of his brain. In some people living with dementia, their brain is affected in such a way that they cannot help crying or even laughing. There is a name for this condition-can't think of it now. Your father's crying and behaviors can also be due to frustration and anger, who wouldn't be upset? That is why I think it is important to have a doctor caring for our loved ones. The doctors can often help with depression, anxiety, anger, etc. Of course some people refuse to see a doctor-sometimes they cannot help refusing because they have lost the ability to see reason, other times it is a life long hangup. In that case there is nothing that can be done unless you force the issue.

 If your mother is very stressed out-she may get sick and placement could save her life. People who put their loved ones in LTC facility are often relieved because they can once again be a daughter, son or spouse for that person instead of their caretaker. Both can benefit if the right facility is found and the care is good. Good luck!

Posted: Saturday, June 11, 2016 2:01 AM
Joined: 5/20/2016
Posts: 15

My dafd is under a doctors care.  He upped my dads medication, but my mom has finally come to the point where she knows that it is  time for him to go to a LTC.  We found one ,and now are starting the proceedings.  It is tough.
Posted: Monday, April 8, 2019 11:32 AM
Joined: 9/7/2016
Posts: 1

My Mom is 90 and in LTC for about one year now.  She has been on a 25 mg dosage of Citalopram to deal with her anxiety.  We have found this to be really helpful.  However,  my Mom also started experiencing crying and sobbing in the last month which is really hard to watch.  She is also at a stage where she is losing her words and has difficulty making complete sentences so it is hard to know what is upsetting her.  We have found in some instances that she would cry and act like she was in pain when she had to have a bowl movement.  Probably one of her last attempts at some dignity that she still wants to use a toilet for that.

It is important to note that when your LO is in LTC they do not encourage anti-anxiety meds and the State wants the patient taken off them.  We had this happen and it was an awful result.  Also, it takes a lot longer to wean someone off those drugs than what they do in LTC.  You do have the right to refuse that your LO be taken off the drug so be sure to keep that in mind when dealing with your LTC Caregiving team.


Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2019 11:56 AM
Joined: 10/9/2014
Posts: 1186

My LO used to be very sad, agitated, crying, worrying, a lot.  She was unconsolable, until doctor prescribed a daily med for anxiety and depression. It really helped a lot and she became content most of the time. We tried to discontinue it once and she became very anxious and tearful again.  So, we know just how much it helps her. 

It may be that LTC is also something that your LO needs now too, but, I'd explore treating dad's mental anguish as well.   I know this is so very tough on all involved. 

Mimi S.
Posted: Tuesday, April 9, 2019 12:24 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

Did any one notice these posts were from 2016?

But I do have 2 comments.

1. Medication policy varies from residence to residence. I've not heard of one restricting use of antipsychotic meds, not to say it doesn't happen.

2. I strongly urge folks to adapt the Validation Method for behavior issues. From your library get any book by Naomi Feil with the word, Validation in the title. it's not an eay read, but well worth the time. It's use may cut down on the need for such meds. If your LO is in any type of residential placement, so ask if staff are trained in her method. In my opinion, all caregivers should be.

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