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Going to Memory Care tomorrow
My Dad had been in AL from Oct. '16-July '17. Most recently spent 6 weeks in the geri-psych ward getting meds regulated for hallucinations, paranoia, etc.
He is not able to go back to the AL and will be going to MC. MC is 40 minutes from my home, so I will only be able to visit 2x a week, maybe 3 max.
I'm just very nervous about this transition. He will have a roommate, which he never has had. I worry they won't be able to handle his delusions/hallucinations. It's farther away so I can't run over to check on him as easily. I'm not sure he will even understand where he is going when we leave the hospital. He thinks he is coming back to my house & it's just not possible for me to care for him in our home. This is the best place for him, I know, but I'm just worried.
Honestly I was hoping he would pass away & be at peace before this part came. He's late stage 6, and I do believe this move will break what is left of his spirit.
I guess I needed to vent. Prayers please. Thanks for listening.
rvgirl, I too made the decision to move my mom to MC. She has now been in a light weight IL/AL for 1 year and then a higher care AL for another year. Mom is the end of stage 5, but she is wheelchair bound after a stoke and it became obvious her community isn't a good fit anymore. I am so scared of her going downhill too. With your dad at late 6 and everything you and he have been though, you are doing the right thing.
He needs the care and protection. I understand when you say you hoped he would pass and be at peace. I have come to realize these thoughts are normal and okay. I wish I didn't have them either, but crap, this illness is long and painful for everyone. It also totally sucks to watch these changes in people we once knew so differently. Anyway, good luck with the move. We are doing it in 30 days. I am giving notice this week.
My mom is going through a stage where she knows her memory is messed up, although a year ago she would deny it adamantly. She knows and seems to accept it's an illness and for the moment, she is okay in her community and does know I have her back.
Each time she sees me (and sometimes it was 3 times a week) she would say she hadn't seen me in weeks. Most of the time I would remind her or sometimes just ignore that comment and ask how she is, how was lunch, etc. When saying good-bye, mom would get a little anxious and ask who was going to help her, how would she get to dinner, etc., and this was always hard for me. We went though the see you later, see you Saturday, etc., but soon I found out the best way to deal with good-byes was either, see you tomorrow (if she's not at her best) or see you soon. Mom is the one that requested the see you soon back when we were having problems with good-bye language.
All I can say is parenting our parent in this condition is tough. It requires constant rethinking and changing our heads for every stage and every change in them... yes I'm tired.