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I Have Alzheimer’s or Another Dementia
My mom stopped bathing
Welcome to our world, Rose. We're so glad you found us.
What type of dementia was your mom diagnosed with?
Your father is doing his best but it is frustrating for him. Are there financial assests for Assisted Living? If so, begin looking. Those who have made the move, szy te sooner the better.
There are no Federal nor State regulations, so lli carefully. Ask under hat conditions be asked to leave. Find a place with a locked or Memory Care Unit on site. Look for several scheduled activities daily in all of physical, cognitive and social activities. Get a written list. How are residents dressed? Several sleeping in wheel chairs in the hall? Odor? Would she eat the meals? Check state for violations. Major or minor and how was it corrected. Ask abut staff training and updating. Do the names Teepa Snow and Naomi Feil mean anything?
If that is not possible. Is there Adult Day Care? Hire caregivers. Watch some Teepa Snow videos with dad. Anything in each that would help? Discuss it with dad and demonstrate by what you do.
Just a short reply to the: No home, she's not ready yer.
There is a huge controversy over this. Some want their LO to stay home until it's no longer possible, with help, to care for them.
Showering is not a daily necessity. Often choosing the best time of day, having a hand held shower head, possibly covering mirrors will help. Bribery goes a long way: We'll go for some ice-cream right after your shower. Do check out showers in Solutions.
The aide is very important. Possibly you can find one that will do the shower and also do planned activities with her. Are there things mom used to do that dad never liked? Perhaps some of these could be adapted for today.
Thanks for replying.
There are many threads on the General Caregiver's message board about showering. Your dad may have to get into the shower with her. Or it may be time to begin the use of adult baby wipes, which can be purchased in a drugstore or made at home by watching youtube videos. There is information on the main alz.org website about showering and daily caregiving. There is a great Spouse/Partner message board if your dad wants to meet with other husbands in his position. The 36 Hour Day book is a great resource.
EKL...Welcome to our world. I'm so glad you found us.
Any one is welcome to post anywhere, but you might get more answers if yu repost on the Caregivers site.
Discussing anything with your mom is a waste of tie. Most folks, just prepare the shower assemble whatever is needed, make sure the water temp is OK, then just extend an arm and lead er there. I f she asks: it's time for a shower. Figure out the time of day that is best. Sometimes, covering mirrors will help.
Roe...in general I will say that being creative and flexible wins the game. This goes for everything!!!! One must get on the page with the person with dementia and find the way around Robin's barn. Your mother is changing and the journey will be easier if you keep up.
Your mother believes she has showered so how to get her to take another shower. Your father getting in with her could work. Let's shower and then have some cake might work. You have to figure out what works.
Teepa Snow has a lot of information to share online. There are others online. Again, one has to learn this stuff.
I encourage you to also post on the two caregiver boards...lots of sharing there.