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Feeling si bey sad. Momma’s appetite has chsngrd drastically in the pass two weeks. Barely eats anything. Drinks her ensure and little malt. Momma spends more time in bed. Move her every two hours so no breaks in her skin. I have so much anger I don’t know what to do with it. It tears at my heart so see my beautiful momma so frail, thin, and weak. How I miss her. I get in bed with her and just listen to her heart. I love her smell. Then, the tears start to flow. My sisters continually tell me I need to pray to God to take momma home. It’s so hard to let go. Again, I know it’s selfish on my part. I have lost my best friend. My everything. I’m not the first and I won’t be the last. I don’t know. I just have so much anxiety and it triggers my migraines. At times, I don’t know if I can take it. How do I prepare myself? I don’t know how long Momma will continue like this. I just feel so hopeless.
I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. My heart breaks for you as I know how you feel. I was there with both my parents. In my opinion, there is no way to prepare for our loved ones end of life. Even when we know it is coming and we think we are prepared, when it happens we are not really prepared. When we love someone so deeply, their passing leaves such a huge hole in our hearts. And with this horrific disease, we have to watch them slowly fade away. One thing I have learned in life, is that it is not always fair. The only advice I can give you is to spend as much time with your sweet mom as you can, Keep loving on her, tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you. It is okay to feel angry, step outside and yell as loud as you can, take lots of deep breaths. Letting go is hard, cherish the memories and know that when she is gone, she will be free of this horrible disease and will be whole again. Know that she loves you and that she knows how much you love her. You are not alone and this is so hard. Sending you soft hugs from one daughter to another.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Like others said be there for her, let her know how much you love her and how happy you are that she is your mother. Let her know it's okay when the time comes to let go and join Jesus and all her loved ones who are there waiting to welcome her. Let her know you will be okay when she leaves that you will miss her terribly but will see her again one day. And when that time comes try to picture in your mind that reunion in heaven. Picture her whole again, free of physical and mental ailments. Picture her doing all the things she loved to do and how happy she is that she can do them again. My mother did not die from dementia, she had lung cancer but in the couple of weeks before her departure she would call out for her mother and father or see her sister who died around the age of 6. We would encourage her to go play with her. Though I never wanted to lose her I didn't want her to continue suffering from her disease. It's one of the hardest things you will ever have to do is say goodbye to your mother. Stay with her as much as you can, love her and give her reassurance that everything will be alright for her and you. I will keep you and your sweet momma in my prayers. She has to be a sweet person to have raised such a loving daughter. Take care of yourself and try as hard is it is not to dwell on what may be happening.
Gina, my heart goes out to you. Please know we understand what you are feeling. My mom passed last month and I miss her so much. But, I feel comfort knowing she us no longer confused & in pain. It is hard to let go, but you need to reassure her that she can. Have faith, she's in God's hands for our home here is temporary.
Hospice helped us, so look into that. God bless you.
I'm so sorry Gina. Please take care of yourself. Prayers and a hug sent your way.
Yes, my momma is a wonderful person. Beauty in and out. Whenever I think of momma, I see her smiling. This morning I had such an overwhelming moment withmomma. I had left her room and when I came back she had such s beautiful smile on her face. I smiled back and called her baby. That’s always been my special name for her. She proceeded to call me momma. This has happened many tines. Momma then told me she was so happy I was her momma and asked if she had been s good daughter? I told her she had been a fabulous daughter and was blessed to be her mother. She was so very happy. I couldn’t stop from crying. Momma told me( as her momma) she couldn’t be happier. It just touched my heart because how momma loves her momma is in return the love I share for her. It was such a special moment that I would hold close to my heart. So many precious memories of my beautiful momma.
Seems like when it rains it pours. I have this dreaded flu. My sister is staying so I can stay away from momma. I pray my precious momma and daughter don’t get the flu. So many of our students have the flu. I tried to be on top of it, but if was bound to happen. Prayers for my momma.
I appreciate all the supportive comments. I don’t onow if Hospice will be involved. It was a battle getting home health. I’m waiting eagerly for an outsider to give their perspective on momma. I feel my elders think I have disrespected them in some manner. We all want comfort measures for momm. Yet, there does not seem to be anything in place. I have one sister who is an organizer. I am grateful for her. She is my backbone. I can openly talk or cry with her, which is often. In the end, all anyone would want is the best possible care for one’s mother. With my family, everything is a debate. It’s quite tiresome. There are days I wish everything would just fall into place. No chaos. That just doesn’t happen in my family. Being with momma has humbled me. I try with all my heart to give her the dignity and respect she so rightfully deserves. She’s is a precious jewel that is to be treated ever so gently.
Again, I thank you all for your supportive comments.