Caregiving resources for every stage of the disease.
RSS Feed Print
Loosing friends due to diagnosis
Joan's daughter
Posted: Friday, August 3, 2018 7:50 AM
Joined: 11/20/2013
Posts: 40


my friends have been pretty absent since my diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.  I’m 60 and I need to find some new friends or how not to loose the ones I have.
eaglemom
Posted: Friday, August 3, 2018 2:50 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 2208


I am sorry this has happened to you. Sadly this is not uncommon. Many people loose friend / family members after a diagnosis. It has happened to us.

What I would suggest is contacting your local ALZ Chapter. Hopefully they will have some group(s) your might participate in. We participate in two very different support groups that our local ALZ Chapter provides. Frankly they've been what's made the difference in our accepting the diagnosis and going forward. Your with others whom are in the same boat as you are.

As for the friends you feel you've lost I know it hurts. But we've made new friends and better friends whom are our support circle. I hope you can do the same.

eagle


Q.O.E.
Posted: Monday, August 13, 2018 12:18 AM
Joined: 8/12/2018
Posts: 1


I have experienced the same thing as you. But the friends that stopped calling, or coming around, weren't true friends. My real friends surprised me by accepting that I sometimes forget words and often don't feel like myself. They have taught me to laugh at myself, when it's appropriate. And you know what? It feels good to laugh.

I feel sorry for those that gave you up as a friend. They have ones less friend than they used to & you just got introduced to 2 new ones!

I'm happy to be here with you & look forward to more chats! This is all new to me and I have no idea where my life is going. But at least I'm not alone! I thank God for that!


Somethingelsa
Posted: Friday, August 31, 2018 7:22 PM
Joined: 7/7/2018
Posts: 93


Joan’s daughter.

Friends withdrawing is not unusual unfortunately. It doesn’t only happen with Alz but with many diseases. When my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer many many years ago and the prognosis was not good, friends that my parents had for their entire lives , ones that I called aunt and uncle disappeared . People that they thought were merely acquaintances stepped up and became the ones to depend on . Odd, heartbreaking but also eye opening. I grew up then in many ways but also became wiser and learned what true friendship was . My DH is the one with alz but I see the same thing happening. This time tho it was not a shock and I was prepared . Perhaps it frightens people . Perhaps they feel if it can happen to you why not them . I’m not excusing them just trying to find excuses for them . Move on through it because like us you will find new and true friends . Neighbors who we nodded to for years can’t do enough to let us know they are available to chat , help or vent to . They even ring the bell if they haven’t seen us walking our dogs for a couple of days . The one who makes me tear up tho is the condo maintenance man who texts me and drops in to sit with DH and watch TV with him on his break. They talk and laugh and have a great visit. So don’t dispair. Everyone here is your friend plus there are so many out there that you will discover.


Hi.Phi.High
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2018 11:56 AM
Joined: 6/29/2012
Posts: 75


Hi. I too have experienced what you are feeling and it is hard. Even more so when you know many people but your circle of "friends" is small. You have to keep moving forward with or without them. The Creator does not close doors without opening A window. Hope this helps.
Mimi S.
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2018 12:15 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6643


Hi Phil,

So happy to see your post. What's been going on?

And yes, we lose some who we know now weren't really friends.  We have to find others.

Do look for Memory Cafe or other activities in your area.


Hyper4ever
Posted: Wednesday, October 17, 2018 10:32 AM
Joined: 10/17/2018
Posts: 1


II have recently been feeling like I have it too. I warned my family of what was to come and my sister has already calling me a liar. If you need a new friend to chat with, I am available. This applies to everyone.
Mimi S.
Posted: Thursday, October 18, 2018 10:41 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6643


 

Dear Hyper.

Have you been diagnosed?  If not, do look for a testing site, usually, at a large University or medical complex with a dementia department.  From yor library, do ask for a copy of ay book by Doraiswamy and Gwyther.n There are other conditions that cangive similar symptoms, some of which are easily corrected.

And yes, most of us find some 'friends' disappear when they learn of the diagnosis. Te weren't friends. Obviously, they weren't friends.  Getting involved in your local Alzheimer's chapter is a good idea.


Hi.Phi.High
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 9:49 PM
Joined: 6/29/2012
Posts: 75


Hi Mimi. I'm as well as can be expected all things considered. Been through A lot but still soldiering on. Thanks for asking, and how about yourself?
Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, November 3, 2018 5:19 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 6643


Hi Phil,

Thanks for asking. My dementia, possibly due to any med i take high doses of, is stable. However, I have had some major health issues over the past few years, am frial, lake socialization and opted to move into Assisted Living. Many of the residents have dementia, acknowledged or not. So, as a Peer Volunteer, I have a unique perspective on whqt it's like to live in an ALF.

One of the guys I regularly eat with is featured in an award winning film.  I can't find the film o line, but do search for Carl and Cecil on the net. A wonderful love story. Carl is in a nursing home but is brought weekly to visit Cecil.

 


 
× Close Menu