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Posted: Thursday, November 22, 2018 10:58 PM
Joined: 7/6/2014
Posts: 1350

I am finding it very very hard to respond to some of the well meaning folks who express "sorrow' for the passing of my spouse of 51 years (battling LB dementia for the past 10+years---the last 3.5 of which he spent in a hospital bed in the front room/ with  total 24/7 care from myself and my angel of a sister) two weeks ago.  

I don't feel sorrow.  I AM SAD this happened to him and to us and to me.  But I am GLAD that he no longer has to suffer the indignities that this disease brought to him. I just hope that folks are not horrified when I say "It was a blessing. He is free of this." 

He not me.  

Dahlke (Cynthia)

jb crick
Posted: Friday, November 23, 2018 12:05 AM
Joined: 8/2/2016
Posts: 636

Anyone who has ever been a caregiver to someone suffering with a terminal illness understands how you feel and what you mean. I completely understand as does every other caregiver here in this forum.

Blessings to you,


Posted: Friday, November 23, 2018 9:28 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 2011

Hi, Cynthia. I totally understand. When someone would say how sad I would just say I was happy for her because she was suffering terribly. Even our priest who delivered Last Rites to my mom the day before she died agreed that she could take the “easy pass” no stops— directly to heaven.
Posted: Saturday, November 24, 2018 9:23 AM
Joined: 3/25/2015
Posts: 931

You don't have to explain anything. When someone expresses sorrow for your loss, just say, "Thank you." or "I appreciate your friendship and concern."
Posted: Monday, November 26, 2018 7:38 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 259

Dahlke; no one can ever understand how we feel until they themselves endure what we have,  You say whatever you need to say or say nothing at all. You could just appreciate their gesture and end it there. Less is more in these situations.  We all understand how you feel though, trust in that.

-wishing you peace,


Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2018 10:26 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5214

How are you doing, Cynthia? I like your reply to people who say they are sorry. I often wonder how I will respond. I might skip the blessing part and just say-mom is free now. Take care, Cynthia!
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