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Mom is ok, and not so ok
Posted: Sunday, January 6, 2019 3:42 PM
Joined: 3/8/2018
Posts: 703

I’ll start with the positives:
She still knows me, her ears are clear so she’s hearing better. She enjoyed her chocolate, the lavender lotion hand massage and neck rub I gave her. She’s clean, eating, her dry skin and neck psoriasis is nearly gone (that’s a wow)


The not-ok:
To quote Paul Simon, she’s slip-sliding away. She’s less aware of her surroundings, involved in some internal conversation. Today she was mildly aggravated by whatever was swirling in her head, not as calm as last week.


I know what I see and hear is only one point in time and not necessarily what her week was like. But if I was creating a trend graph based on my visits since September, it would look like this: \

It was a sad drive home today. My poor mom. And sad Sel. I know she’s in the right place and getting the right care, I just want to change the graph to —-


Mimi S.
Posted: Sunday, January 6, 2019 5:26 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7036

Hard to accept, but you know what the diagnosis is.

Is she involved in the Best Practices life style?  Several of us PWD use it. It is touted as a way to prevent dementia. Nonsense. But we who practice it believe it can, and research supports that it cn slow down the progression.

1. Tale meds as directed.

2. Physical exercise. The goal is to get that heart pumping at a faster than normal rate for a bit. Research says such exercise build new brain tissue.

3. Varied cognitive activities. The goal is to stimulate but not frustrate.

4 Mediterranean Diet.  If this is A big change, go slowly.  No smoking. Limited alcohol.

5. Maintain or increase socialization. We need to face face to face contact but we don't do well in crowds and noise.

Posted: Monday, January 7, 2019 6:22 AM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 77

Sel, I'm so sorry. Seems are moms are on parallel paths. Mom's been on a plateau for a few weeks, but last week she started with increased confusion, anxiety, and tears of bewilderment. I feel so sorry for her. Her caregivers are kind and I know she is being well cared for, but I hurt for her. Hugs to you and your mom...and to all of us.
Posted: Monday, January 7, 2019 9:33 AM
Joined: 3/28/2018
Posts: 70

The decline is so difficult to witness. It sneaks up on you right in front of your eyes. Like sand through an hour glass except we don't know how much sand is less. Continue your work as caregiver and enjoy the LO as best you can. Peace.
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 8:54 AM
Joined: 1/23/2018
Posts: 26

 I too am 'an only' witnessing a similar decline with my mum in a nursing home in UK.

She's been immobile for over a year with declining memory but as of last few months her level of engagement is downward and she gets exhausted earlier each evening. This tiredness seems to bring with it an agitation and she usually does a good job in removing the top bed sheet and then tries to remove the duvet cover.

 She can no longer hold a conversation, doesn't know names but recognised faces and her most used words are 'oh yes' or 'oh no' generally used in the wrong context. Very sad for an educated lady but it's reality.

I visit every day, hold hands, hug, eat lemon mousse and try to stimulate any sort of a reaction.

It's very tough- I have loyal friends who support me but most important many friends continue to visit mum and reminisce of the 'better' days.

Like myself we're lucky to still have her so make the most of every minute with her and be thankful that she's not in pain.
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