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Reposting for Cdinpa
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 8:42 AM
Joined: 3/6/2017
Posts: 1457

Our father recently had a stroke and is in the hospital. He is medically cleared to be discharged but because his behavior is agitated and aggressive, we are having a hard time finding a place that will take him. He was previously at home with our mother as his caregiver but she cannot continue to take care of him. Has anyone been in a situation like this? The hospital has offered a two week stay in their senior behavioral health unit to work on medicating him into better behavior but in that unit they only allow visits for an hour at lunch and an hour at dinner. We are not too sure about that, the idea that he will be alone so much. He’s been in the hospital two weeks now and we feel like they should have been more aggressive with this during this time. Instead they’ve been giving him shots of Ativan (since he pulls out his IVs).
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 8:55 AM
Joined: 3/6/2017
Posts: 1457

Hi Cdinpa-

I hope you don't mind that I reposted your reply from another thread. It'll be seen by more people posted in a new thread. 

Welcome. I am sorry you have the need to be here, but glad you reached out and found us. 

In your situation, I would absolutely take the option of a 2 week stint in the senior behavioral health unit (aka geriatric psychiatry admission). They have the specialists available to help get him to a place where he'll be less anxious and agitated which will give your family more options for placement. This isn't really something that can be accomplished in a traditional hospital setting. The visitation schedule is typical, many places allow only a one-hour visit daily and may ask family to hold off visits for a few days while the patient settles in.

One resource that will come with this option should be a social worker who is familiar with the available care options in the area and can help your family during the decision process. 

Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 9:27 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 16823

Did his behavior change while in the hospital?
Mimi S.
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 9:45 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7036

Welcome to our world cdinpa. I'm so glad you found us.

The placement yo write about sounds like a good option.

i wonder why the limit on visitation. Doesn't sound possible for working folks, although I do agree with short time visits. Staying hours and having lots of visitors is not necessary.  I also object to any place that will not allow immediate visits. It certainly encourages thoughts of being dumped.
Another thought: why are not other techniques, other than "adjusting meds" tried? In particular, I'm thinking of Naomi Feil's Validation Method. The proper use of her Methid can cut down the need for more meds.


Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 10:12 AM
Joined: 4/4/2016
Posts: 153

Hashedbuzz, Glad you found us here. Lots of information from the good folks here. Just wanted to add my opinion for whatever it is worth. This sounds like a much better option than the one our family was given this past July. My dmil (84 with stage 6 Alzheimers) was taken to the hospital for extreme agitation and wanting to hurt  herself and others. Well, after a couple of days and lots of anti-anxiety meds.....they just said...."she is getting discharged in a couple of hours!! Yup! No plan, no let's get your ducks in an row! Nope....take her home!! Meanwhile we did not even have a bed to sleep on or aides set up to help my 86 yo dfil who at the time was her sole caregiver!! Yup! Tough luck for you she is going home OR we would be responsible for her bill, personally!!

No rehab, no respite offered!! Just bring the car around front! Guess what she was back there in about 2 weeks. WOW I am surprised! NOT.


No this is a good option. At least you will be able to breath and try to get things set up for care, where ever than may be.




Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 11:13 AM
Joined: 6/20/2016
Posts: 1836

There is really not a choice to be made here.  A two-week behavioral health stay is going to be a requirement for anyone to take him.

The decision is really out of your hands if you hope to get him placed in a facility remotely near you.

MN Chickadee
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 11:37 AM
Joined: 9/7/2014
Posts: 750

Was he aggressive before the stroke or is this new? 

Many here have had to go the geriatric psych unit route. Regular hospitals and regular psych units do not have the expertise for dementia care and getting him settled down. I guess if it were me I would do the two week admission while you get him stabilized and work out a plan. The psychiatrists at the geri-psych unit will be much better equipped to treat him. I am unsure what typical policies for visiting hours are, but I don't really see a way around it. The psych unit should have a social worker you should work with right away. Tell that person he cannot go home when discharged. Work with them on placement. Be very firm and clear that you can't care for him at home and he needs to be placed in memory care. 

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