Loading discussion content. Please wait...
remind me why they just sit there
I went for a bi weekly check on mom today at assisted living. She didn't even get up out of that chair. Heat up to 90 with a blanket on looking at the paper. As I putzed around doing my "bi weekly chores" she still just sat there reclined with the "what did you say" response to idle chit chat. Get up out of that chair and look/talk to me I thought.
Nurse and aides said once again...yep she comes out for meals and sometimes bingo and that's it.
What goes on in their brain? She says I don't want to do this or that...don't tell me then nobody talks to you if you just sit in your room all day except for meals not participating in any programs. They even come knock on doors to see if she wants to do whatever activity is going to happen. Nope she would rather sit in that chair...90 degrees covered up with blanket watching the wind blow until the next meal.
Go figure...funny huh. She can't figure I guess.
I finally got her up for a walk down the halls before I left.
Some feedback, please. Is there a different response when asked: would you like to? And just reaching out an arm and leading her to an activity. Same thing once she gets there, she may need more guidance, actually taking her arm and guiding her to dip the brush in paint and then bringing it to the paper.
Perhaps more of: it's time to .....
I like the way you put this, jfkoc: “paying attention to the soul.” A wonderful, wise friend of mine reminded me that it’s now to minister to Mom’s spirit. Lord, help me remember this!
Boy. I know this one pretty well. Usually mom is active all day long in her assisted living facility. In fact, sometimes they can't keep her occupied enough. But then she sinks. By this I mean that she stops doing things and won't leave her room. she will give reasons... reasons that make no sense, but she doesn't want to leave. Sometimes this lasts a day. Sometimes it lasts longer. Each time we worry that she is reaching a new stage. But I know now to wait a few days and it will correct course. One day it won't and then we will know. But for now it seems to be a cyclical thing and the duration is never clear. And weather can play a part and so can depression. And the heat... she does not know how to handle the system in her room and anything with buttons to operate are now out of her ability range. We have hidden the remote for the TV and just leave it on all day. She still knows how to dial a phone when she wants to. But she will insist that she does not have anyone's phone number. sigh.
Yes, it is so hard to figure out what they are thinking when they are quiet. But it is hard to have conversation when you are confused or depressed or unsure of the information that your brain is delivering to you. Sometimes just sitting is being 'there' for them.
Well, after a heat argument with my husband last night. I sat in my grandmas rocker in front of my bedroom window in the dark. I sat there in the dark contemplating the exchange we just had. I sat there in the dark watching the eight or so deer out my window devouring the days bird feed and squirrel food. I sat there in the dark rocking as the skunk came into the picture of my wild life escape from this marital disconnect.
I sat there in the dark rocking...watching/thinking/wondering why I stay married...then it dawned on me...sometimes just sitting looking out the window trying to gather your thoughts or just enjoying the view of nature is fine and perfectly OK!!!
So, I sat there a little bit longer to watch the deer. Then went to bed