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How does a caregiver take care of self without any helpers?
I can hear the desperation and fatigue in your post. Please do get some help and keep us posted. You're in my thoughts.
Speak with a certified elder care attorney about a Miller Trust. A Miller Trust is a special type of trust that adjusts a person's income downward, usually in an attempt for the individual to retain eligibility for certain types of governmental benefit programs. Most often, these trusts are used for the purpose of establishing eligibility for the Medicaid program.
I hear you. Moms caregivers are minimal and only covers me getting to class some days (not even all of them). I make use of her friends who are still capable of helping, and I have a friend of mine who can do some extra driving (picking mom up for senior daycare and keeping her until i get out of class). However, none of that is for me to get time for myself. If I want to grab a coffee with a friend and take a break one of my teenagers has to be home with mom and I know they are both just waiting for me to get home, mom will wait in the window if her anxiety is up.
Justifying even more money for caregivers just so I can get a break, when so much is already being paid out for me to attend classes and appointments feels like a luxury at this point. Mom was a good saver, had a nice pension, which is not enough to live on alone (she lives with me) but is too much to qualify for more caregivers. Even if she did qualify, here the caregiver has to come through an agency, and the one agency here does not have a good track record and is disorganized. I could end up with 5 different people showing up in one week. NO THANK YOU. Its very frustrating.
I hope some of the suggestions here help and you can take a break. I know its super important when your a caregiver. Perhaps a bath late at night when LO is sleeping could even feel restorative in the short term? Do it up with bubbles, smelly candles, maybe a book or maybe set the phone on a pearch and put a movie or tv show on.