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Our 10 year alz journey ended - peacefully - tonight
A journey that started for me in 2009 and ended tonight in 2019. Ten years with diagnosed alz. We experienced everything form the paranoia of stage 3, to the cruelness of stage 7, and everything in between.
It was very peaceful. My brother on one side holding Mom, and me on the other side. She passed quietly in our arms and just let go to Jesus. Couldn't have asked for a better setup.
Dear Lairdwd, I send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family on the death of your beloved mother. That she was surrounded by the love of you and your brother as she left this earth, is beautiful.
May comfort and solace find you soon; it has been a long journey and you went the distance and thensome with love and care.
Im a new member of this website, but was so touched by your post. Im prayimg for you and your entire family as you "Grieve" the loss of your loved one. You hav run a good race, and now dementia has no hold on your loved one OR YOU!
Just remember, YOU ARE LOVED by so many!
Thanks for all your kind thoughts.
I was able to get here in time to give Mom round
the clock palliative care during her biggest time of need as she transitioned
to the other side. The active (1-3 day) dying process began just as I had got in town and she was starting her initial decent into unconsciousness.
We had a brief moment of clarity, where she showed physical signs of recognizing me, despite her physical and mental exhaustion. We then had around 20 minutes of semi-comatose 'conversation' where there was another brief moment of clarity. The next morning, she had not regained consciousness, and I knew we were now near the end.
From there on out , she was mostly unconscious, but I would hold her hand, and she would squeeze if I tried to pull away. Even though she was out of it, I got the sense that there was some small spark of light still flickering inside that could hear and feel, and she let me know.
Finally, I'll say that Morphine was a wonder drug during the dying process. Mom had started losing weight very rapidly at the end. One day they tried to transfer her out of bed into the wheelchair and she howled in pain. The morphine kept her out of pain , and helped with her breathing, especially as her gerd started acting up again near the very end. Morphine did provide relief unquestionably, and I would not hesitate to use it again for the right circumstances.
My condolences to your family. You know she is now at peace.
Yu might want to think about sharing your wisdomwith oters on these boards.
I am so very sorry for your loss. But also glad that you were able to be there when mom needed you most.
10 years is a long time to be on this road. Momentum will carry you along this road a bit longer but try to be good to yourself. Take some time to relax and breath.
I'm so happy you were there for the end. As I've learned through many experiences, it is harder, at least in my view, to NOT be there than to be there. And I'm so glad you had moments of clarity with her -- what a gift for both of you.
Now you start a new journey, with a hole in your heart you thought you were ready for, but will probably discover you weren't completely ready. We're still here for you on this board if you discover times where you still need to vent, rage, ask for support, whatever. We're friends who've never met.
May you find a peace in your life that you so richly deserve.
Lairdwd may your mother rest in sweet peace. It's never easy to say good bye to a parent....no matter the circumstance. Take good care of yourself and heal. Sending you lots of strength now and in the days ahead. Bless you and your mom on her final journey.
Your mother raised a wonderful person. I'm so happy that it was calm and gentle for all of you. May her love for you, hold you up in the months and years to come.
My sympathy is coming your way.